So I find myself very, very confused.. I have seen a girl a few times now. She initially saw photos of me through a mutual friend and wanted to get to know me. Then we got to chatting through fb getting to know each other and as we were beginning to become more like mates I told her about my being trans and I've started T and all that good stuff and she was very upfront with me telling me she is a lesbian but has dated a few guys in the past.. But we weren't really talking about dating or liking each other we were talking about common interests etc..
So she tells me that when she first saw pics she was definitely interested, then when I came out to her she was like oh ok so we will only be friends now but then on meeting her there was chemistry.. And she said she went in with an open mind due to my trans status.. But she also tells me that she has been confused for a little while now over another guy back home who she's known forever but tells me that she's definitely not straight and can't see herself going there with him..
I asked her how she saw me and she said as a guy - no questions asked, but obviously I have an energy or understanding that stems from my years of living as female(ish) or as a lesbian.. Her type is obviously boyish, all her exes have been bois you know and that she always saw them like that-but they were still her girlfriend - and understands that I would not be.. Said she was talking to a friend about me and doing the normal thing comparing me to her exes and the only difference is how I identify - and she gets that.. And her friend proceeded to tell her I'm the perfect guy for her!!
So we had this big discussion as she is confused and doesn't know what this means for her and she was already confused to begin with - I'm really not sure of what's going on or where we stand.. Argh! I'm just really confused hey - like I've never even dated a lesbian before! All the chicks I have been with previously were living as straight women.. To make it more interesting it makes e question myself and what I'm doing.. I mean I thought long and hard before making this decision and I'm just lost at the moment..
I personally hate labels I think they're a waste of time, life's too short for BS.. I wouldn't just not date her because of her label or mine - you know we like each other and I guess only time will tell if it's doable or not.. If I become too 'manly' for her.. But I am not uber masculine - I'm not a macho guy and there's always gonna be something a little different about me, and I dig that! I love that that is what sets me apart from average Joe.. I enjoy a queer identity, I don't wanna fade to black if that makes sense..
I doubt I'm making sense - I'm bloody confused!!
Any one have any thoughts or advice - coz I'm doing my own head in over here
