So I find myself very, very confused.. I have seen a girl a few times now. She initially saw photos of me through a mutual friend and wanted to get to know me. Then we got to chatting through fb getting to know each other and as we were beginning to become more like mates I told her about my being trans and I've started T and all that good stuff and she was very upfront with me telling me she is a lesbian but has dated a few guys in the past.. But we weren't really talking about dating or liking each other we were talking about common interests etc..

So she tells me that when she first saw pics she was definitely interested, then when I came out to her she was like oh ok so we will only be friends now but then on meeting her there was chemistry.. And she said she went in with an open mind due to my trans status.. But she also tells me that she has been confused for a little while now over another guy back home who she's known forever but tells me that she's definitely not straight and can't see herself going there with him..

I asked her how she saw me and she said as a guy - no questions asked, but obviously I have an energy or understanding that stems from my years of living as female(ish) or as a lesbian.. Her type is obviously boyish, all her exes have been bois you know and that she always saw them like that-but they were still her girlfriend - and understands that I would not be.. Said she was talking to a friend about me and doing the normal thing comparing me to her exes and the only difference is how I identify - and she gets that.. And her friend proceeded to tell her I'm the perfect guy for her!!

So we had this big discussion as she is confused and doesn't know what this means for her and she was already confused to begin with - I'm really not sure of what's going on or where we stand.. Argh! I'm just really confused hey - like I've never even dated a lesbian before! All the chicks I have been with previously were living as straight women.. To make it more interesting it makes e question myself and what I'm doing.. I mean I thought long and hard before making this decision and I'm just lost at the moment..

I personally hate labels I think they're a waste of time, life's too short for BS.. I wouldn't just not date her because of her label or mine - you know we like each other and I guess only time will tell if it's doable or not.. If I become too 'manly' for her.. But I am not uber masculine - I'm not a macho guy and there's always gonna be something a little different about me, and I dig that! I love that that is what sets me apart from average Joe.. I enjoy a queer identity, I don't wanna fade to black if that makes sense..

I doubt I'm making sense - I'm bloody confused!!

Any one have any thoughts or advice - coz I'm doing my own head in over here

Enjoy the process of discovering each other- if the chemistry is there then as long as neither of you closes doors just because of how you identify then you'll be sorted. She already has sort of got used to the idea of being a lesbian but being attracted to men so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Just don't let it make you question yourself; just because she identifies as a lesbian it doesn't mean  your less male. My partner is bi and sometimes it drives me round the bend wondering if she sees me as male or female and hoping to god its male but as shes bi would she tell me if it wasnt? Anyway- just taalk; be open with each other and enjoy the relationshiop- wherever it goes

Cheers man - choice advice!

Jay 

Hi Jay,
Hate your avatar BTW

I reckon you have fallen into a very normal boy /girl relationship. And you, as the guy, are as confused as hell, and she is happy playing your strings. I think in some place in  the world it's also called sexual attraction, also she wants her man to make it open that he is interested. OK dude, what do you want? Her to fall over and say take me take me;for crying out loud. How about plain out wooing her. Yes my friends , very few, if any females want to meet a guy, be attracted to him and for him to say, Jeez your gorgeous, want to go to bed with me? And other famous pick up lines. Just Because we are TG doesn't make the rules any different.

How about a bit of time and energy? If you like her and it sounds as if she likes you work on it boy. Yes the whole lot, flowers, dinner, show whatever you are both in to. She wants your respect and attention. She may well want to be treated as a woman in this relation ship. She wants to feel appreciated by her man.  Guess what relationships are based on truth and love. It takes a while to discover these in each other. That is why we date. To get to know each other.

Sounds a nice opportunity,

Enjoy the chase, she will.

Hugs
Cindy

Thanks Cindy - avatar's gone!!
Will definitely be heeding the advice!!

Cheers *returns the hug*

Jay