Starting Out

[JodieM]

Hello All

I would like to say i am currently a 28 year old male.

I have been battling with myself since i was a child about something was not quite right with the way i am, its only in recent years that i have come to realise what that actually is.

I live in the UK, im not exactly the most feminine i let myself slide over the years with the battle i have been waging myself, put on a chubby belly, struggled to find employment, i have been out of work so long i dont even feel right trying to gain employment while im still male.

There is debt issues with me also so makes transition sort of hard to figure out.
Where do i start? i cant afford private treatment and google searchs on NHS route is a little information all over the place. I am hoping there is some people in the UK who can shed some light on the NHS route.

I am basically starting out i dont own many clothes of my associated gender and its always been the finances thats slammed me hard and kept me the way i am.

I do have a girlfriend at present been with her since 2001 so quite a long time, came out to her recently about how i felt and always felt, she is very accepting of it as she has always known since we have been together i was not the usual male type.

Any help or advice please on how to start the NHS road and to give me more clarity would be greatly appreciated.

I know who i am i just need to make sense of everything and try to put everything into pure clarity and i need a place to start off my journey.

All i have been able to do so far is in the last few years or so is choose a name that suited everything about myself it took me a very long time to find a name that fitted my personality.

Please excuse my literacy mistakes dyslexia is a pain when i am doing alot of information in one go forum posts.

Sorry for the long post 

Kind reguards

Jodie.

[cynthialee]

welcome to one of the friendliest nut houses on the web.
This is the right place for information.
I myself have no clue about the NHS in your nation, however I know there are some around here that do.

[Al James]

NHS- first go and see your GP and tell them you think you have a gender identity problem. They will probably ask you a few questions then write a letter of referral to a local psychiatrist. I skipped the next part and got re referred to a gender specialist. I've got 3 appointments with him of which i've had two, then they decide whether to refer me to a gender clinic or not. Thats as far as i've got i'm afraid so far its been 6 months since my first visit to the GP so not a bad time scale

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Jodie,

Welcome to our little family. Over 4400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

[K8]

Welcome to Susan's, Jodie. 

There's a lot of good information and good people here.  Each of our stories is unique but we have a lot in common.  Settle in, pull up a keyboard, and explore.

As Janet said, be sure to look under the Announcements heading or use her links for the rules we live by in this little world of ours.

I live in the States so I can't help you with information about NHS, but there are a lot of UK folks here.  I understand that there are quite a number of LGBT groups in the UK, so you might contact the closest one.

Good luck and happy exploring.

- Kate

[JodieM]

NHS- first go and see your GP and tell them you think you have a gender identity problem. They will probably ask you a few questions then write a letter of referral to a local psychiatrist. I skipped the next part and got re referred to a gender specialist. I've got 3 appointments with him of which i've had two, then they decide whether to refer me to a gender clinic or not. Thats as far as i've got i'm afraid so far its been 6 months since my first visit to the GP so not a bad time scale

Thank you kindly for the information you have given, its very reassuring that i can just go and see my normal NHS GP, I am based in manchester in the UK so it is not a bad place to start out since there is a varied and wide community for the transgendered.

Thank you for the links on the forum rules i found the top one but not the other two.

[Al James]

I would think you'd be sorted living there. From what i remember from years ago when i had a social life, you've got pretty much everything on your doorstep, lucky you 

[Metamorph]

This sounds similar to my situation, especially with the finances  . Like others said the first port of call is the GP, then you get referred places. When I did that the local councilor they sent me to wasnt exactly the most helpful so it really is the gender specialist you want to see. From what I understand theres a gender clinic in manchester but im not 100% on that. I know theres others on this forum that have transitioned with the NHS so they will have more info im sure.

[gennee]

Hi Jodie and welcome to the site.

Gennee

[JodieM]

This sounds similar to my situation, especially with the finances  . Like others said the first port of call is the GP, then you get referred places. When I did that the local councilor they sent me to wasnt exactly the most helpful so it really is the gender specialist you want to see. From what I understand theres a gender clinic in manchester but im not 100% on that. I know theres others on this forum that have transitioned with the NHS so they will have more info im sure.

Manchester does indeed have an Gender clinic it is based on the opposite side of manchester to where i am currently i looked into the information on GID with google searchs over the last few years but didnt know what i should do about it, the information was some what overwhelming, and took me best part of a year to research everything i was interested while trying to pretend to my girl friend that nothing was wrong which was a bit hard.

The information that i couldnt find though is what i asked in my initial post so much information but very little actual step by step process posted by people who went through the NHS, on further examination though i can see why not much information has been posted about it as it seems the NHS are very how do you put it very slack with assessing or dignosing or even treating GID maybe due to waiting times or possible not many specialists.

But with my finances up the spout and lack of an income for a while which i do believe my situation of how im feeling is affecting my ability to gain employment the most i can do for the time being untill im ready to go see my GP is to gather things i will need and keep myself in check mentally from going spare and try to be patient instead of wanting to charge in and get my gender corrected to my mind state.

Not that i want to be patient right now all i can think of is going into my GP and explaining my situation but i have other things to consider first, walking, talking and generally getting myself ready, the information on the NHS route is a bit nasty since they can sometimes and possibly enforce a 3 month RLT/RLE before giving any hormones out at all which i want to prepaired for in case that does happen to me.

sorry for the long post some times i let my female head voice the real me take over and i just type away about anything thats on my mind 

[Al James]

Personally i would see your GP now because the wait between that and the next stage could be a while. At least once your in the system you know something is happening even if you don't know when. I'm lucky at the minute- now that i've had my first appointment the screaming in my head seems to have died down a bit and i'm actually at the stage where i can think about other things

[JodieM]

Personally i would see your GP now because the wait between that and the next stage could be a while. At least once your in the system you know something is happening even if you don't know when. I'm lucky at the minute- now that i've had my first appointment the screaming in my head seems to have died down a bit and i'm actually at the stage where i can think about other things

I will make an appointment for my GP once i have finished my current course smoking cessation tablets mainly quitting so i have a better chance at transition without possible side effects from the blood pressure differences that smoking causes and to try to reduce the risks, trying to grow my hair and nails now for a couple of months but those take time.

The course of tablets i am on is typically 3 months and right now im stressed and strained a bit from those so if anything i should wait for at least 6 months before i do go see the GP about setting myself on the path so i can give myself time to adjust to not smoking and such, may seem a pickled way of doing it but i honestly dont want to end up smoking again with the stress and strain i could feel with the NHS system.

[Al James]

I know that feeling. I gave up smoking in December and there have definitely been times when i still wish i could reach for one but the thought of surgery keeps me away from them.

[JodieM]

I know that feeling. I gave up smoking in December and there have definitely been times when i still wish i could reach for one but the thought of surgery keeps me away from them.

I have tried quitting alot of times in the last few years not sure of how and what i am ment to do about how i felt sort of patterned with my  feelings surfacing very strong then subsiding up and down roller coaster if you will.

But this time im really focussed of quitting for good wouldnt suit me or my mind state to say well im going to go back to how i was because i cant work out what to do or what im ment to do to sort my mind set right and let the real me shine out, i would look rather silly to my girl friend if i turned around and said im going back to not caring as in the long run that is doing me way more harm mentally than just doing the right thing of quitting and embracing the inner me and start to let her out so i can fade the male i was born as fade out.

[El]

The NHS will not authorise Hormones for anyone who hasnt been smoke free for at least 3 months, thatll motivate you

[JodieM]

The NHS will not authorise Hormones for anyone who hasnt been smoke free for at least 3 months, thatll motivate you

I already know the details of the hormones and wont be prescribed unless i quit so im intending to take my tablets for the alloted period and give myself enough time after wards to adjust and cope and find alternative methods to cope with stress thats the main reason that people restart this would be my third attempt now to quit and im condifent i can do it.

Im using champix tablets not sure what they are called in other countries but i stopped smoking on the initiation pack on day 3 i was feeling brave it took a week for the cravings and anxiety to subside but i have not had any cravings or been looking for cigarettezs which is a good thing.

Granted i cheated a little and bought a sneaky packet of cigerettes on day 8 but that has been the total last time i put the nasty stick to my mouth although i was a very heavy smoker, i was miserable smoking as i felt the addiction was keeping me from being myself.

Pretty much helped that i threw out my favorite ash tray, and everything else i found to do with smoking i however kept my zippo lighter since that cost to much and its my favorite color which is purple :p to just throw out so im keeping it in a draw out of the way for use as emergency lighting or in case i need it £25 is a bit much to just throw away when it is still perfectly usable for other uses than smoking.

personally though im feeling alot more enegetic to the point im not sleeping to well at night because to much energy that hasnt been burnt off even though im taking up jogging to loose i hope one maybe two stone since im weighing about 15 stone not bad as a year ago i weighed 17.5 stone, would be nice to get down to about 14 stonish and stay around that mark.

[Al James]

I found that joining a gym actually helped me stay off the cigarettes cos once i could do things because i wasn't smoking i didn't want to go back to not being able to do them. Didn't know that about the 3 months of bei ng stopped before hormones tho

[JodieM]

My finances as they are at the moment i cannot afford to get a gym subscription but i do have an excercise bike and usually the best excercise is the type you can do for free which is at home or just going for a jog in the morning either wayi dont intend to start smoking again or at least i hope not.

One day at a time is how i am going to take things for the moment.