What's your sexual preference & has it always been that way? (girls' edition)

[K8]

Ivy,
It is always nice to hear from Significant Others.  I think your story is interesting.  When I started persenting female I found I could relate to my women friends better because there was no longer a background sexual tension.  And as I have gotten to know them better, I have found there is a lot more to this for them, too.

We are complex creatures, wondrous in our variation.

- Kate

[HayleyVera]

I've always struggled with my sexual orientation. I first came out as bisexual when I was about 15, then a little while later thought I was pansexual, then I came out as a gay male at about 16. I now identify as a straight female.

[Sage Fallon]

Up until I started transition I had only ever dated women. I kind of kept an open mind when I first started and just went with pansexual, since to some degree I was attracted to men. I even tried dating a guy about a year into my transition. Amazingly it ended up being the longest relationship I ever had, but it didn't last. It more or less exposed some issues I have with physical intimacy and I realized I wasn't nearly as attracted to men as women. So at this point I'm going with trans lesbian. I tried dating another trans girl not too long ago, but that ended rather quickly and badly. Even though it didn't last long it was enough for me to learn that I'm more comfortable with other trans girls. I guess the shared experience in a way makes me feel more easily understood. I'm still attracted to genetic women too, so I guess for now I have a good idea of what I like. It's just so hard sometimes being pre-op and saying I'm lesbian, especially so with genetic women. A lot of times I find they don't seem to understand that I'm attracted to other women as a woman, and that whats in my pants has nothing to do with it.

[alexia elliot]

Wow, I have read through posts and they are as different as individuals them selves. We are often trying to make sense of our surrounding world by sorting aspects into appropriate boxes, but it isn't so with this. We are such a diverse group that I see how confusing this subject has to be to the "straight" onlooker. For me I have lived quite a bit of life as man and never payed any sexually directed attention to males not even fantasy. It actually was repulsive to me to think of two man having sexual relationship ( who am I to take such a stance?). I have now been almost 10 months on HRT and out of nowhere, intriguing, curiosity arose about possible relationship with man, oh well, I don't think I can go as far as manly masculine man man but a transgender with all the original parts still there. If I had been confronted with such 3 years ago I would leave the room but now world of possibilities is open, is it because I feel more a woman now, and organize my thoughts in female fashion or is it totally not even up to my thought process but rather hormones and chemistry associated with them making me who I am now. Perhaps some time ago I was still so much into pretending to be this Manly man that I had to behave in such way but now I have embraced my female in me and are more open to this aspect. I can only speculate the outcome of such relationship because I have not experienced it yet and who knows if I ever will but just the fact I have allowed such fantasy and must say with pleasure, that a change has occurred and a significant change at that.
Just to add, besides thoughts of sexual exploration I catch my self striking way female poses unintentionally. Gestures I would never do before, am I doing it intentionally but not realize or is it subconscious or yet hormone driven?

[JillEclipse]

I'm glad you posted this, because I wanted to post something like it myself.

I'm very new to my transition experience and in the early stages, but from what I have learned from myself in the last 3 months and realized over the last 7 years of my adult life, I am not a gay man as I came out as when I was 14 (very accepting parents, I was *very* lucky for them to accept even that back in the 2002). 

I always felt as, a gay man, incredibly awkward while in relationships including: holding hands, giving flowers/gifts, who remember anniversaries, who pays, top/bottom/vers roles, 'sexiness of bathhouses', 'attractiveness of being promiscuous', kissing in public and most of all, the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately.  I always looked for the gay man who would be the man, so I would be the woman --- but I didn't 'think' of it that way, because that's not how a gay man is, it is a give and take, a compromise: I always yearned for the opposite.  For years I battled with disagreeing with all of it (and so much more), striving for the heterosexual norm, with all my gay peers constantly scrutinizing me.  And I was always such an awkward gay man.  I'd be the one covered in make-up, feminizing myself in every way and then wondering, why doesn't any gay guy like me, except for the ones who are as girly as I am (still don't get that)?  After going after all the straight men with obviously, no successes, idolizing my female friends, being jealous of their gender and never relating to any gay man emotionally on structurally in the gay world, it was the real bubble burst that I was not actually gay at all.

Bottom line: preference only 'straight'/heterosexual men without getting into any debate of bi/curious TS ->-bleeped-<-s.

better not to think about such things. so what did you turn out as, anyway?

[kimberrrly]

When I think about Love
I don't think about a bright Moon
Twinkling Stars
Red Wine
Silent Whispers
Holding Hands
Secret Loveletters
Candlelights
Red Roses
Wedding Bells
Moonlight Serenades
Warm Summer Nights
A table for Two
I think about Pure sex, Deep sex, Hard Sex, Rough Sex
  - Lords of Acid

wow


Post Merge: March 29, 2010, 04:32:12 AM
When I was just a child I liked girls, because I looked up to them and wanted to be like them. I disliked boys.

When sexuality started developing at age 8/9 it became clear to me that I only had an interest in boys.

My envirement perceived me as beeing a gay male, but I never could identify with it.

As a "gay male" I was very passive and submissive towards men, wanted to have the female role next to a man.

Then at 28 I started to accept myself more and started living as female. Later I started hormone therapy, and I am at this moment a non op TS.

I love straight/ heterosexual men, but believe that the truely straight might not want to be with a TS, so in men, its masculinity I search for, both in character and sexuality. Also I admire men that have accepted they like TS as well as woman, and are not ashamed to  admit that.
They feel like real men to me and much much better then `straight` guys.

I also believe that men that have no problem with TS, do not have a problem with wether I have had surgery or not. There is the backdoor


Post Merge: March 29, 2010, 06:37:47 AM

And so am I

Jah me 2 

[ErickaM]

I have been with the same woman for 23 years and I have been on HRT for 4 years and I have noticed that about 2 years ago my orientation had begun to change toward men.  Up until then I always was attracted to women and had no interest in men at all.  I had discussed this with 5 different therapists that I know and there is a little conflict in what they say, but on the average they all say that HRT can have  an effect on ones sexual orientation.  So boys look out.

[Katelyn-W]

I identify as a lesbian and never had any attraction to men. I actually think the male body is kind of disgusting, but that may just be my feeling towards being born in a male body  . If a woman is transgender or cisgender isn't important to me, although I don't know if I would be ok with male parts down below. Even for myself, I'm not sure if I'll be ok with using my own male part, I need to get SRS/GRS asap  .

I've heard about a lot of MtF's that go from being attracted to women, then to men. I think it might have nothing to do with hormones, but finally being able to accept yourself/your sexuality. It kinda scares me that hormones could be one of the factors in determining sexual preference, as I'm happy with my sexuality as it is.

[SarahFaceDoom]

I think I've always been somewhat bisexual, though leaning more toward women.  I've never really been interested enough in a man to have a relationship with one.

[Lily~]

Considering I have a loving boyfriend for whom I care very much, I think it's obvious >:3.

[Kaori]

When I think about Love
I don't think about a bright Moon
Twinkling Stars
Red Wine
Silent Whispers
Holding Hands
Secret Loveletters
Candlelights
Red Roses
Wedding Bells
Moonlight Serenades
Warm Summer Nights
A table for Two
I think about Pure sex, Deep sex, Hard Sex, Rough Sex
  - Lords of Acid

Wow, I am so happy you quoted LoA.  They were one of my fav's for a long time!

I hit reply out of excitement for the LoA quote, but just to keep from going off-topic... I'll offer my reply -- without having read the following replies, mind you.

I am, and always have been pansexual.  Though for most of my life I have identified as bisexual without knowing any better.

---

Edit/Add - my biggest problem with men is body hair and masculine smell.
I hate body hair with a passion.  I think I was an Egyptian in a past life (not seriously, though I wouldn't pass it off).
And the smell of maleness... I can't stand it now.  You know what I'm saying?  If I smell nut-sacks on my towels I'm bleaching them. Eww!

Aside from that, the entire playground is game. Woot!

[Binks]

BI always have been always will be. And my FTM husband also identifies as BI.

[Fer]

I'm & have always been asexual.

[Iolanthe]

Happily married to a GG, I'm strictly women-only. The hetero thing just doesn't compute for me.

But I do adore my gay guy friends. They are the most fabulous accessory! 

~Lannie~

[BardicFire]

I think I was actually kinda aesexual till I got the talk... I literally had no interest and then suddenly BAM I did... mostly girls at the time... but slowly I realised OMG Boys are hot too... so you could say I'm bi, but really I'm I don't like the term bi, because it supports gender binary, and I'm attracted to someone regardless of gender identification. if they are attractive they are attractive. now when it comes to romantic relationships I'm kinda unique I guess. I'm Homosexual either way. even though deep down I'm female, I'd rather have a serious relationship with male AS A Male, or have have a serious relationship with a female AS A Female... so you could say I'm a Lesbian with Gay Man Tendencies... or something...

[michelle]

I guess in my current situation I consider myself a bitch's bitch.   Which would make me a lesbian.   That is how I feel when I make love with my partner.    I guess I am a true scorpion because I consider that my current relationship is going to be my only relationship, so I really don't want to consider anything else.

[BardicFire]

I'm glad you posted this, because I wanted to post something like it myself.

I'm very new to my transition experience and in the early stages, but from what I have learned from myself in the last 3 months and realized over the last 7 years of my adult life, I am not a gay man as I came out as when I was 14 (very accepting parents, I was *very* lucky for them to accept even that back in the 2002). 

I always felt as, a gay man, incredibly awkward while in relationships including: holding hands, giving flowers/gifts, who remember anniversaries, who pays, top/bottom/vers roles, 'sexiness of bathhouses', 'attractiveness of being promiscuous', kissing in public and most of all, the somewhat 'animalistic' and vastly testosterone-driven drive for sex immediately.  I always looked for the gay man who would be the man, so I would be the woman --- but I didn't 'think' of it that way, because that's not how a gay man is, it is a give and take, a compromise: I always yearned for the opposite.  For years I battled with disagreeing with all of it (and so much more), striving for the heterosexual norm, with all my gay peers constantly scrutinizing me.  And I was always such an awkward gay man.  I'd be the one covered in make-up, feminizing myself in every way and then wondering, why doesn't any gay guy like me, except for the ones who are as girly as I am (still don't get that)?  After going after all the straight men with obviously, no successes, idolizing my female friends, being jealous of their gender and never relating to any gay man emotionally on structurally in the gay world, it was the real bubble burst that I was not actually gay at all.

Bottom line: preference only 'straight'/heterosexual men without getting into any debate of bi/curious TS ->-bleeped-<-s.

I don't know who you've met, but I know a WHOLE lot of Seme's (Dominant's) who are gay... like seriously seme, they like to make the other person all sorts to submissive... just saying...

[Metamorph]

My preference is female but I do have thoughts about men from time to time but they're just thoughts really. I find it hard to envision actually being with a guy for real. I just find women more attractive, in looks and from a relationship point of view. Who knows what hormones will do though some time in the future.

[kimberrrly]

I don't know who you've met, but I know a WHOLE lot of Seme's (Dominant's) who are gay... like seriously seme, they like to make the other person all sorts to submissive... just saying...

Ehm... nah, I havent met any that wanted me to wear make up and womans clothes...

I was feminine and not self consciouss in my teens and also did not understand why no gay guys liked me, and was very sad about that. But these guys feel that you are not exactly a boy and so they are not interested...its as easy as that....

I also noticed that the feminine gays usually do like me...but more in a friendly manner...

I myself only love masculine guys that are male in every possible and conceivable way and more importantly that they make me feel feminine and like a woman...

[Melissa M]

Guess its my turn to throw my 2 cents in.  No, I don't expect change back....lol   At first, I tried to conform to the norm.  Being a biological male, I had numerous girlfriends.  What I found for me, was I would observe every action, their reaction, see how they moved, what they did, and how they responded.  I recorded it, in memory...not on a camera....goodness people..lol.  Anyway, committing it to memory, so that, when the time came, I could act move react in such a way, as to be like my biological sisters.  Then came the eventual sighs, sex with a guy.  I actually had the big O without ever being touched down there... it was such a euphoric moment, however, i also knew that it wasn't what I really wanted.  Then, after being with several different guys, and seeing how they treat women, their attitudes, about women, and all that bravado, I said nope...Not for me.  I immediately switched to being a lesbian.  Stout and proud of it.  Though finding a lesbian that is understanding of a TS is something that is most difficult.  I have to learn that honesty goes a long way, and that if I can be up front and honest with them, perhaps, just perhaps, they may accept me for who I am, and actually help me to transition, and to be a better female....

Heres hoping.

Hugs,

Melissa