When people still think you are a girl, even after they know your name.

[kyril]

When I had to change in gender-specific rooms (high school PE, Navy, marching band, whatever) I always just changed in a bathroom stall. The only time I got stuck with public nudity around women was in the first week of Navy boot camp when we all had to shower in open bay showers at a scheduled time. They relaxed it after that, so I started showering at 2am.

[PanoramaIsland]

I think it's important for us to remember when we're trying to pass that a fair number of people are just behind the times, unobservant or slow on the uptake. Someone who's using the wrong pronoun might be doing it on purpose - or they could be the sort of person who calls a metalhead guy "she" because he's got long hair.

It can get really grating, though, when one has to deal with it again and again and again...

[Silver]

Well if it counts for anything, when I first came across it I thought it was a girl's name. Could be because of the "ah" at the end, which I am accustomed to as being associated with the female gender. (My years of living with Spanish.)

[PanoramaIsland]

Elijah used to be my middle name, and I always thought of it as very masculine, possibly because my parents were specifically naming me after the prophet. I didn't really like the idea of my middle name referring to a guy with a big beard.

[icontact]

There are lots of female-sounding names that are male-only in Russia. Sasha, Yuri, etc. I personally know a male Sasha, so that always makes me feel so much better about my birth name.

You probably just aren't passing well enough.

[Radar]

I've heard Sasha more as a guy's name than a girl's.

[Farm Boy]

I've never seen Elijah as a unisex name...  The first thing I thought when I saw your name was Elijah Wood.   

That sucks that people still treat you as a girl, but I don't think it's your name that's the problem.  Some people just refuse to accept changes.  If you like your name, don't change it because of other people. 

[Elijah3291]

I've never seen Elijah as a unisex name...  The first thing I thought when I saw your name was Elijah Wood.   

Thats where I got it. i love the man, and him as frodo lol

[Farm Boy]

Haha, that's awesome!   

[kyle_lawrence]

I'm more bothered by people calling me sweetie or dear or something like that than she or her. Especially when someone says it taking down to me.  "That looks heavy sweetie, let me carry that for you" is a really good way to put me in a bad mood.

[Walter]

Most of the names I've used are Male names

.....I'm still called a girl

I know I don't pass but..I guess even the name(s) don't matter

[GothTranzboi]

well I love my name Jayden, but its unisex, I didn't know that when I picked it but I love it. Sometimes I don't like that I get she'd because of it not being I dunno James or a name more clearly male. It fits me however, and I don't want to have to explain things to people when I dont pass. I would have to explain to everyone and there grandmother if I'd chosen a name like Mark or whatever. I have mixed feelings about it.

[LordKAT]

well I love my name Jayden, but its unisex, I didn't know that when I picked it but I love it. Sometimes I don't like that I get she'd because of it not being I dunno James or a name more clearly male. It fits me however, and I don't want to have to explain things to people when I don't pass. I would have to explain to everyone and there grandmother if I'd chosen a name like Mark or whatever. I have mixed feelings about it.

Don't be too sure about that. Many male names are given to girls. Kennedy was always a last name to me but it is a girls name now. People know this and just take it in stride that you look female so the name is yours and the name doesn't make you male.

[milktea]

i guess names are becoming more unisex these days, perhaps couple of yrs later there'll be girls called john and guys called jane

Elijah i don't think names matter much genderwise unless it's written communication...i preserved my old first name as middle name after the name change and because i've used it for so many years i actually use my current middle name more than my new first name...didn't give me any trouble at all!

[Jamie-o]

It's also possible that when you say "Elijah" people are hearing "Eliza".  Just a thought.

And Madzam - I went to high school with a Briana who went by Brian.  She absolutely hated her given name.  In the same class there was also a Michelle who went by Mike.  No idea if there were gender issues there, but looking back, it wouldn't surprise me.  Though it would be funny if there turned out to have been 3 FtMs in one graduating class of 40 students.  (That being said, it was a school with an odd demographic.  There were also at least 2 guys who were openly gay at this school, even 20 years ago.)

[jimmymot]

I'm more bothered by people calling me sweetie or dear or something like that than she or her. Especially when someone says it taking down to me.  "That looks heavy sweetie, let me carry that for you" is a really good way to put me in a bad mood.

oh, god. 

[Cairus]

One of the things that I don't understand in this thread is, I'm seeing a lot of angst happen because people don't always *guess* your gender correctly; why not simply correct them if they're making honest mistakes? I saw a couple of other posts in this thread suggesting the same thing. I can think of plenty of cisgendered guys who've been mistaken for girls, too, due to something arbitrary.

I used to get both 'he'd' and 'she'd' a lot when I was younger, and there was a TON of speculation and gossip about my gender- one day, someone came up to me out of a group of people and said, 'Hey, we've been arguing about it for a while now, but we've finally come to the conclusion you're probably a girl.'  I asked, 'What made you draw that conclusion?' And you know what they said?
'Well. Because your hair is purple? I mean if you were a guy, you'd probably dye it... I don't know... Red or blue or something? So, since it's purple, you're probably a girl.' (LOLwut?)

My ex's name was Justin, and he was wearing a nametag, with a BEARD at work and got 'miss'd and 'is that a girl or a boy?'d because of shoulder length hair. There's an attitude here like 'oh no, they called me she, cats out of the bag', that I don't understand. You're not a 'she'. You're not a 'girl'. If it bothers you real bad, say something, and if you like your name, keep it. There's nothing wrong with it.

[GothTranzboi]

You have a point. I guess I just get carried away with it sometimes. I'm hyper sensitive to things regarding my gender. If I was calmer about it I'd probbably be less off.

[LordKAT]

I stay silent most times. I find that people tend to correct themselves. When and if it continues, then I will say something and try to do it without an audience as it can make it worse if you say it in front of others.

[BoyDani]

My name is Boy and I haven't really told it to anyone that isn't on the internet or isn't a close friend, so I don't know the reaction.... Although, forgive me, if someone thinks I'm a girl with the name Boy, I think I might have the best excuse to get angry, haha.