Telling best friend from HS...

[Katelyn-W]

So we've been friends since the 5th grade. We don't really see/talk as much anymore after graduating HS, since he's going to university in another province. During the summer/winter holidays he comes back home to stay with his family, and we'll occasionally do stuff. He's actually the only one that bothered with me after high school, I'm not sure why, I was complete wreck. Anyways I'm feeling a lot better now, I came out to my family and they've been accepting, my depression for the most part is gone. I've been making a lot of positive steps forward. Right now at home I'm still living as male, but that's going to be changing soon. I'm sorta scared he'll show up at my door (he never calls ahead of time for some reason ), and uh him seeing me would be quite awkward.

So I just sent him a message on facebook, telling him how I've been doing lately, that I'm feeling a lot better, etc, etc, and ended with asking him if I could tell him something in confidentiality. I planned to never tell anyone from high school. I was really depressed when I was in HS, so I never really became that close with anyone, why not just start anew now? He's always tried to be my friend though... I feel like I should at least be honest with him, that I owe him that much, then just never speaking to him again. I can't help but feel this might be a bad idea though.

Blah, I guess I don't have much to lose, I think I can trust him enough not to tell anyone else. What if hes ok with though ? I don't think I would be ok with doing stuff with him as a girl, or even seeing me as a girl, it would just be so awkward. I think maybe I just need to get this off my chest, I hate pretending/hiding/lying. Anyways I'll update you guys on what happens .



Note: I'm not attracted to men, so don't think that I feel that way about him , he was/is just a good friend to me.

[jesse]

hi katelyn if you can trust him to not do you any harm just tell him before he arrives if he still shows must be ok if not ackward situation removed for both of you
jessica

[Cindy]

I don't feel you've got much to lose and plenty to gain. But as Jesse said if you let him know before hand it may help ease the tension. I so far haven't had a problem with 'old' friends.

Good Luck

Cindy

[Katelyn-W]

Yea I think it will go ok, I know he's fine with people who are LGB. I have a feeling that people who knew me sorta already guessed, I met up with some people from HS (my best friend also) after graduation, and someone flat out asked me if I was a transsexual . I really didn't even act that "girly", at least I didn't think so *shrug*. I think "awkward" was a bit of a understatement though, more like terrifying .

Edit: He just sent a message back, and he was really happy to hear from me. He also said this:
"And of course you can tell me whatever is on your mind, you've got my word that I won't tell a soul, and my word is everything to me."

Oh god here goes

[hkgurl1480]

Hi Katelyn
I agree that you dont have much to lose and if he turns up when he gets home then you still have a friend.
Maybe when you are chatting on FB, rather then just dump it on him you could ease into it and try to judge his reactions first.  I think maybe you need to determine if you can trust him with this information if you are looking to keep it quiet for a while longer.
Just my thoughts and what i have done with a few 'old' school friends, so far so good.

Hugs
Shelly
xx

[Katelyn-W]

OMG GOOD NEWS

He was completely fine with it! Here's a part of his message on facebook:
I'm glad you decided to tell me. First off, I guess I just have to say that I'm extremely happy you figured all this out, must have been really tough. I'm not sure how you expected me to react, but I'm just happy for you, and not weirded out at all. I can't say that I expected this, it was definitely a surprise... but their was always a feeling I had that you never seemed 'comfortable' in high school you know?

I think it's one thing knowing, and another thing seeing it in person, but he said he still wanted to hang out/stay in contact. Anyways this is a huge relief, I'm so lucky to have accepting people in my life .

[LordKAT]

Time to celebrate!  I'm happy for you.

[cynthialee]

Way cool. It realy is cool when the people we chose as our friends prove that we made a good choice.

[Jasmine.m]

Yay!! I'm nervous to tell my bff, too... I hope he's as understanding!!

[Vanessa_yhvh]

One of the first people to whom I came out was on Facebook. An old crush from grade school on through HS.

I didn't set out to come out as such. I just made a few comments sort of "in character" and she asked what I was really trying to say. I pretty much said, "Oh, I'm transitioning from M to F." She made a few statements that I rated very highly in terms of being supportive, and to my astonishment apologized later for not having been even more so!

You just never know who's going to wind up in your corner after all that time stewing over it, eh? 

[Cindy]

Isn't the truth the way to go


It's just so damn hard to get up the courage.

Cindy

[jesse]

congrats i had a gut feeling he would accept you
hugs '
jessica