Hey guys, I'm new to this forum.
I am biologically female. But I've been wanting to be a boy for quite a while now. At first I thought, "it's stupid. It's just a phase. It's only because my family is sexist and somehow in my crazy mind I think being a boy would make my life easier". But that's not it. Now I've been starting to think about wanting to be a boy so much now. In my mind, I see myself as a boy, with a girl, instead of as a girl with a guy. I might be Bi but I've never really had the courage to experiment with another girl to make sure. I haven't even come out to my family about it yet. They don't have a clue. I believe they may not be the type who would reject me, but they might be a bit confused at first and try to change my mind. No. I'm pretty sure I want to be a boy. And I know I can handle the surgery, because I'm just finishing recovering from a scoliosis surgery, and I swear that pain was so bad I wanted to die. From what I hear, top FtM surger is a bit easier in terms of pain. Then I think "maybe I'll live half of my life as a girl first and the other half as a boy". I'm so confused, because now I get more and more uncomfortable with being a girl! Anyways, I have so many questions. Anyone here have the FtM top surgery?
1) How painful on a scale of 1-10, 10 being painful, is the top FtM surgery?
2) Will reproduction ever be possible for FtMs?
3) If I wait 20 years will the surgery have improved?
I know I have more questions but those are all I can think of right now. Thanks for helping me out. I'm so confused and depressed.