Alexis!
Many others have already posted some very good advice so I won't try to add too much more. But I do babble sometimes, so forgive me if I repeat too much of what others have said.
This is a journey, not a race. Everything cannot happen at once, so it is all just one step at a time, and sometimes those are just baby steps. But they are steps. One of the steps you have taken is that you have come here, and perhaps to other sites to talk with others like yourself. And this is a start to a more wonderful life. One where your inner demons are quieted and you can see life as something to be enjoyed, not just endured.
You are finding out that you are not alone. And here you are among friends. A lot of friends. We accept you and love you without condition.
You actually are stronger and more courageous than you know! You do have the strength to carry on. And you have the courage to stand up for yourself. You can do this, really!
Everyone of us have felt overwhelmed by the enormity of our goal. That is completely normal. As others here have said, just take it slow. Find your inner strength. Connect with others.
There are a number of ways to cope for now. First off, if you can, find yourself a therapist, preferably one who has gender training and follows the WPATH SOC.
Also, find ways to allow your inner self, your true self to be alive and validated. It may be as simple as wearing underwear that you feel comfortable in, like panties, or wearing a nightie to bed. That got me through many years of depression.
If there are transgender group meetings near you, go to one. Meeting someone in person who had or has the same issues as you can be so uplifting!
There are expenses, certainly, but not all at once, not all up front. Things like electrolysis is paid for on an hourly basis. Wardrobe and jewelry can be bought over time and trust me the resale shops have some wonderful things in them!
Please. Come join us. Pull up a keyboard and put on some tea and tell us about your struggles and your achievements. We're very good listeners. And I think one or two of us may have an opinion or two... We are such an introverted lot... (NOT!)
Feel free to ask any question you might have. We're here to help each other.
-Sandy
