How can I dress less masculine (more feminine? more androgynous?)

[Floating]

Hello everyone,

I was just wondering if anybody could help figure out how to dress less masculinely.  Basically I'm just starting the physical aspect of my transition (hrt) and I want it to seem somewhat gradual.  I just don't want people to be completely shocked when they finally find out that I'm transsexual.

In addition, I want to do this for myself for a few reasons.  One huge aspect is that I'm still in school, I'm a grad student (and have been for longer than most graduate students) and I'm stuck wearing student type clothes.  Pretty much every day I wear khakis, a t-shirt and a hooded sweatshirt with running shoes.   

What I'm hoping to do, in addition to dress less masculinely is to start to dress more in fashion, and somewhat more adult (but still youthful).

Finally, the other reason I'm doing this is because I want to have some feel of progression.  I want to take my life into my own hands, but unfortunately I don't really know how to change what I dress like since I've been stuck in my little academic bubble for so long.



I'm hoping there are enough fashion experts around here to help me out and give me suggestions and advice.  I'm not looking for generic advice, and please don't tell me to look on google.  I've done that, but it's very hard to find anything other than crossdresser sites that tell me to start buying lingerie or haut couture sites, which are mainly for women dressing more androgynous.

So, perhaps a little bit of physical description might be helpful.  I'm 30 years old (actually I'm only 29.9753425 years old)  and I'm about 6 feet tall, I have brown hair (dark dirty blonde actually) that is very receding (let's just say I have a hair style similar to Jean-Luc Picard - Ok, not that bad, but depressingly close to it).

I have blue eyes, I'm Caucasian and have white skin, but I've got some Scottish ancestry and my skin has a pink/red undertone, my skin flushes easily and I have a distinct red tint.

I'm not skinny nor overweight.  I weight about 175 lbs. I can probably fit into most men's medium size t-shirts, but I usually wear men's larges (that hang very loosely and baggy off of me).  My pant size is a mens 34x34.
These are all American measurements (I'm not American, but Canada just trudges along behind the US in terms of fashion), so you'll have to convert if you're from a different country.

Anyway, if anybody can help me I'd be enormously grateful. 

Thank you all in advance!

-floating

[Sandy]

Well, a lot of it depends on how far and how fast you want to go.

For example a big change would be to start carrying an androgynous purse/man bag and never use your pockets again.  Also get a similar or matching clutch/wallet.

Your basic dimensions as you have described them would make it very easy for you to start wearing feminine tops that are more colorful, but still a bit of masculine cut.  The same for the pants.  You can wear woman's slacks which would be very close in cut and style to men's pants.

Check out the large/tall womens shops for a good selection.  Also resale shops are great for finding bargains!  Depending on your shoe size you may have to get your shoes online.  There are many casual womens shoes that come in larger sizes (USA Size > 10.5) but most of them aren't in the shops so you have get them from their websites.

Being in a school environment gives you a lot of opportunities to be a bit more fem and casual at the same time.

If you are on HRT, you will soon start feeling the growth of your breast buds under your nipples.  They will become very sensitive.  Your breast growth rate is going to be unique to you so I can't advise you there, but you may want to start wearing a sports or training bra so that the rubbing against your skin is reduced.

Wearing panties instead of boxers or whatever my be more comfortable for you as well, if you aren't already.  Wearing lacy or fancy underwear all the time actually gets to be uncomfortable and is usually more fragile for the day to day use.

Also follow the three rules of skin care, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!  Your skin will start to get fairer and thinner as you progress.  Good skin care is a must for either gender, but we girls seem to be the only ones who really work at it.  Do that now!

Also, are you seeing a gender therapist who may also assist you in helping you with your transition?  And do you have opportunities to go out completely as yourself, that is very helpful in gaining confidence as a woman.

Sooner or later, people will start to notice and either talk behind your back or confront you outright.  Be prepared for that.

-Sandy

[barbie]

I would recommend gradual changes in your dress. You may first try flat shoes for ladies with very short pants or tight jeans. How about deep, V-neck tees?

In any case, step-by-step changes by trial and errors.

Barbie~~

[Chloe]

I'm not skinny nor overweight. Anyway, if anybody can help me I'd be enormously grateful. 

For starters lose about 20lbs (if 6' tall) and then try *for starters* neutral color capri pants (ya know, those long shorts with strings?) and unstyled girl's hoodies (can tuck tie strings in!) . . . . Various no-pocket(?) ordinary shorts always look nice and if real *short shorts* looks/works (with good legs? ) make sure they're loose fitting jogger only . . .

Do it ALL THE TIME now and nobody - believe it or not - has heart attacks I know of except maybe my 10 yr old son who is too wise for his age (and first kissed a classmate "JoAnna" behind the school bus yesterday? )

very short pants or tight jeans

lol no no no! "Tight jeans" (and "light pastel colors?")  got me in trouble with neighbor mother (who contributed to my court-ordered CDing ban!)

[Sandy]

One more thing.

It isn't so much a dressing thing, but here is something that will make you appear less masculine to other males.

If you haven't done it yet, stop using the urinal.  From now on, every time and every place, no matter what the situation, never, ever stand to urinate.

None of the guys will say anything, probably, but after a while they'll notice you always use the stall.

-Sandy

[Pica Pica]

I have started wearing more female tops recently, mainly because fashion has changed to make tops more comfortable for me - less boob hugging - I find people don't particularly notice but it feels good, especially of you start with block colours and let the other stuff bleed in slowly, I recently got an 'alice and wonderland' t-shirt that is very cute. Cardigans are also good fun.

Feet are great, wear girl's colourful socks, people do start noticing that flash of colour - shoelaces are good for that too, I only have female shoelaces in my heavy Doc Martins - I also find that female pyjamas are the only pyjamas that provide comfort.

Oh, and accessorise a bit - I worked at a sweet shop, there were lots of ribbons, I soon found my rucksack and work apron covered in ribbons and bells (still have that apron although I left, was fond of it). Little cute badges on male blazers and jackets and bags are nice little grace notes. Female belts and sashes and scarves and hats and stuff also raise the profile of this a bit more.

[barbie]

Female belts and sashes and scarves and hats and stuff also raise the profile of this a bit more.

I sometimes wear a belt on long coat or long tee at my workplace. Men and women all are interested in my belts, and some women ask me whether I can give my belt to them. I reply "if you also give one, we may exchange." My belts seem funny to them.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=mgallery;sa=item;id=2074

I occasionally wear high heel boots at my work place, but only with bootcut jeans.

Barbie~~