Yeah, I'm still living with my mom (financial reasons--college and saving for top surgery) and we're very close. She's known for 6 years, but it's only been within the last year that she's really started to call me my name and even attempt using male pronouns.
She says she's trying and it's "too hard." That she gave birth to a daughter, not a son. She's also very religious and believes that God doesn't make mistakes.
We did come to a compromise about a year into my transition (I was 16 or so). She would no longer call me by my birth name or use female pronouns. At least to my face or when we were together in public. What she did around her friends was her business and what I did around my friends was mine. Eventually it got to where she was comfortable enough to stop saying daughter and say "my child" and avoid all pronouns.
Last year (5 years after I came out), she finally told her friends that I was transgender. They've known me since I was a kid, so I understand that it was hard for her and them to understand.
What I'm trying to get at is this: Just because someone close to you (or even not so close) doesn't get things right in a year, doesn't mean they aren't trying. Everyone has their own grieving process (and yes, they are grieving even though you haven't died), and there is no time table on that. Be patient, gently remind, and correct people. Getting upset (which I did many times) solves nothing, but it causes many more problems than a name or pronoun slipup.
