What is with the violence in this thread? lol. Anger management issues anyone? It does no good to hit someone or fight with them about this kind of thing. My suggestion is flat out tell your friend they are acting like an ->-bleeped-<- and making him/herself look like a jack ass. Tell them you won't deal with this kind of behavior/disrespect from someone who is supposed to be your friend, at that point you can choose rather or not it's worth adding in that you are considering ending the friendship because of their actions. That is a personal choice based on what you can handle and feel is necessary.
Quote from: Roro on April 27, 2010, 12:38:54 PM
He seems to think it's just playful teasing, but I've told him over and over again that it's not okay. I've told my husband to tell him on my behalf. Maybe that would make it stick? No. Not so much.
So I have 2 people in my life who refuse to use the correct name. That friend, and my grandmother who is about nine million years old and can hardly remember my birth name. I don't want to confuse her any more than she already is, so I leave well enough alone.
I hate people like that, it's weird how they seem to honestly not get it, but you kind of know and see that they DO get it. Do you personally know his other trans friend, perhaps she could appeal to him on your behalf if he does truly respect her as much as it sounds like he does. Although maybe he only respects her because he is concerned she is strong enough to actually fight him if he pushes his luck and he just hides behind the excuse of not wanting to hurt her feelings.
As for the grandmother thing, serious problems for me and Bianca as well on that. First my great-grandmother doesn't recognize me that well anymore, she gets me confused with my brother (She is in her late 90s and starting to have memory/recognition problems in general though). It is weird considering my brother is huge compared to me, he weighs almost twice as much as me and is over half a foot taller. I suppose we do look almost exactly alike other than that though, so it's kind of understable lol. My grandparents just act as if nothing has changed at all. They don't recognize that there has been any kind of change in my life. Despite my being engaged to marry a transsexual woman, my facial hair and voice, and every person in my immediate family (including my brother's children) using male pronouns and calling me Seth..... I think that is one of the worsts. It isn't even denial, it's purely intentional and cruel. My grandmother is a pretty mean woman, and she does like to keep up "appearances".
My fiancee's family has a hard time with me calling her Bianca and she. They always seem to still use her old name and male pronouns, every time I refer to her you can just kind of see the room stop for a second. Not out of anger or any kind of "static" over it, just like genuine weirdness, it's obviously still strange for them. ONE time her father introduced her to a neighbor as his daughter. It was the only time he has ever recognized her as a woman. And her grandmother spells Bianca wrong on every card, but it is an actual mistake lol. Binaca? what kind of a name would that be, haha.
