HI everyone ! As of Friday 4/30/10 I finally decided to stop fighting with myself and go and get my general lab work up done.
Although I did want to get my labs done for more than this reason. My mother has a slight issue with her thyroid as does my aunt and others in my family. I have always known to the core that I wasnt exactly the same as everyone else and have always felt I was in the wrong body.
To this day I still cant look at myself in the mirror without wanting to cry. I have major issues with my self image. Ironically, I have really made a strong effort to try and conform to my anatomical sex, But it still feels like wearing your shoes on the wrong feet. I have been married 13 years now and am trying to be a father to a 16 year old headstrong like a mule gurl. I am so tired and exhausted I just dont know how to handle myself. No matter how hard I try to force this role I have an equally opposing force almost twice as strong telling me .. This is a joke .... when will you deal with yourself and realize that you need to do something...
:icon_blahblah:The very person I am married to: the person that is to except you for better or worse is trying to systematiclly dismantle my female persona. All I hear from her is " There is NOTHING feme about you" Which cuts me to the very core of my soul. I need support! not ridicule and shame. Im in school now full time,working full time and trying to juggle to many things most ppl would say. I hope you can forgive me for all the whining. Other than that ... Im really glad to be here ... and have already benefitted from reading others with the same circumstances. My aunt says I have to find a beginning b4 I can find the end. I thinks she's absolutly right.
