Not sure why I did this

[Cindy]

So last night I decided to phone my Aunt and Uncle in the UK. They are in their seventies. Never been particularly close but now my M&D are dead they are the only people of M&D's age I have living. For some godunknow reason I told my Uncle I was TG. That I had been raped as a teenager etc etc etc. Thw whole lot . Why? I have no idea. I wasn't feeling depressed I wasn't drunk I wasn't anything.

He seemed OK with it. Shocked but OK. I don't know what to do next, their daughter has known for ages and my sister who is close to her, knows of course and both are fine. But why did I tell someone who doesn't need to know and who I could have put into shock.

I think I'll go into hiding. I've been thinking of crawling under a rock all day. And I don't know why. I'm cool now-a-days with me. OK I have issues that some of you are aware of. But now I feel like a dork.

Anyone had this sort of reaction when starting HRT? Or am I blaming myself for something that is my issue and my issue only. I just feel weird, confused, not bothered and upset all at the same time.

Cindy

[LordKAT]

Sometimes when you finally get to be yourself, you want the world to know that you really do exist. Even if the world is an old uncle and all the older family you got. Perhaps you needed to know you were OK and not have to hide from him anymore or unconsciously wanted to be accepted by all your family and not feel you were hiding from him.


You are not a dork, you are human. Welcome to the rest of the human race.



I win. 

[Cindy]

Sometimes when you finally get to be yourself, you want the world to know that you really do exist. Even if the world is an old uncle and all the older family you got. Perhaps you needed to know you were OK and not have to hide from him anymore or unconsciously wanted to be accepted by all your family and not feel you were hiding from him.


You are not a dork, you are human. Welcome to the rest of the human race.



I win. 

Thanks Ken,

I think you are right, that is why I'm blurting out to people. I'm accepting me, and god help the world. Godzilla has broken out of her shell.

Knew TV show: Dork and Cindy

Thanks Hun

Where were you when I needed a brother when growing up


Cindy

[LordKAT]

Stuck in a hayfield in the middle of WI. Where were you when I needed to be seen as living.

[jesse]

i agree with kat cindy i didnt know you were just starting hrt congrats hun thats a big step im so proud of you. i didnt tell anyone other then peeps here when i started but thats cause im a coward lol
jessica

[LordKAT]

Jess,

After what you lived through, No one can rightly call you a coward.

[rejennyrated]

Hey Cindy

Don't worry - we've all done it. Even with my "open" trans childhood me!

When mum died I managed to find one of the very few people amongst her old friends who didn't know and instead of just accepting their condolences addressed to my old name I had to write a long letter telling them that for the last nearly 20 years I actually hadn't been living as that at all! Why IDK!

I didn't even have the excuse of starting HRT either! Truth is we can all be dorks at times so don't fret girl.

As to why - my guess would be that deep down a part of you want's your parents to know, and as you uncle and aunt are the last living link left to that generation you had to tell them as it was the nearrst you could get.

Anyway no point in worrying now - what is done is done for better or worse.

Peace

PS - I agree with Ken Jessica - you ain't no coward lady! - oh and if you want to find out when cindy starts HRT you should look in the AG section - cos that's where she originally hid the news 

[K8]

I agree with Ken, Cindy.  It is such a relief to open up about this secret that you have been carrying all these years.  At one point I was telling my favorite waitresses.  (I almost got to the point of stopping people on the street, but I do have a little self-control. )  Once the cage door swings open - watch out!

And congratulations on starting HRT.  It must be a huge relief.  You'll get there, girl.

- Kate

[Deanna_Renee]

Cindy, congrats on starting HRT! I hope you are feeling very happy.

I will echo the general tone here by saying that, for me, I have felt like I had been in this self-imposed prison for so long that once I gave myself a pardon and was released I wanted the whole world to know that Deanna is here and not going away ever again.

While I have not gotten the courage yet to come out to family, other than my mom (and that did not go well at all), I have come out to quite a few people that after doing so I thought 'why on earth would you have told them?'. In fact a couple of months ago I offered to speak to a class at my former college about being trans. I went in and sat down in front of a classroom of 20some college students and talked and answered questions for 2 hours. I only knew the teacher and will likely never see any of the students again in my life. But I believe they now have a much better understanding of what it means to be transgendered or specifically transsexual. In fact just about an hour ago I got an invite from this same professor to come back and talk to his class this quarter.

To paraphrase Kate, the cage is open and I'M OUT!! Well somewhat conservatively.

That and I'm proud to be a dork! 

Deanna