Big fat facepalm

[Jeatyn]

I have been full time for around...2 years now I think.

I've realised that my immediate family are really excited about the fact that I'm pregnant because they assume I'm no longer trans because of it.

This baffles me completely, I've had offhand statements like "so when are you gonna change your name back?" ....why would I change my name back? "you're gonna be a mommy now! Obviously you're not still going through with the whole being a man thing"

I think you'll find I'm gonna be a Daddy, actually, I think of myself like a seahorse where the male carries the child. Why do they think that having a child is going to suddenly erase all my dysphoria, it seems fairly obvious to me that it's made it much much harder to cope with.

I had a whole big speech yesterday from my sister about "don't ruin this kids life, don't make it gay or weird like you" I just....don't even know what to reply to something like that. She infuriates me with her 1940's homophobic attitude. She also reckons I "made her son gay" even though he's been obviously camp and flamboyant since he could talk.

Just needed to rant guys, gonna go bang my head repeatedly against a wall now 😛

[Lachlann]

I guess they never heard about the pregnant man or other ftms who choose to carry a child. Then again, I suppose you can't really expect them to understand if they hadn't before.

Good luck with your pregnancy. I'm sure you'll make a good sea hors-I mean daddy. 

[justmeinoz]

You could always threaten to sell your story to the English press and embarrass the whole family 

[Jeatyn]

You could always threaten to sell your story to the English press and embarrass the whole family 

can totally picture us all on Jerry Springer 😀

[Janet_Girl]

I have friends who are not only Trans, but in a lesbian relationship.  They also have a son, who is nether gay nor trans.

Stay strong there Daddy Seahorse.   

[Squirrel698]

I want to say that I have been in your shoes, so you are not alone.  I was pregnant and a transman.  My daughter is now 10 months old and is a perfectly normal grumpy and occasionally charming child.

It is very difficult going through pregnancy dysphoric as other's really don't understand.  Not to mention finding masculine clothing to wear while your belly grows.  Really it's all about your own mindset if you believe in who you are others will sense that. 

Wish I had more advice, but it's not forever.  This too will pass and I am sure you will be a wonderful Father. 

[Jeatyn]

I feel ridiculous in my male clothing lately because I just look like a fat lesbian and it's depressing (no offence to fat lesbians XD) I'm currently in E cup bras and they are too small, so binding is out of the question 🙁 I was told the moob growth would calm down after the first few weeks but they are still growing

[Crow]

I think you'll be a fantastic seahorse-daddy~ You have a lot of courage, and I think this kid will be lucky to have you as a parent. 83

Hopefully your family will snap to their senses and realize this, soon. Until then, at least you have people here who are willing to lend a sympathetic ear (or rather, eye) to any vents you may have along the way~

(By the way, kudos for the seahorse analogy! That's pretty brilliant. *thumbs up*)

[Arch]

Pregnancy's not for me, but more power to you. Your family will get it eventually...and if they don't, give them a copy of Thomas Beatie's book.

Seahorses are cool. I like that analogy.

Hang in there.
Post Merge: May 22, 2010, 12:57:47 PM
Beatie has two books now, right?!

[tekla]

Thomas Beatie had already successful transitioned, has a supportive spouse and a job.  That stuff changes a lot of other things.

[Arch]

Thomas Beatie had already successful transitioned, has a supportive spouse and a job.  That stuff changes a lot of other things.

True, but that's not why I suggested it. The book might help them to understand that just because Jeatyn is pregnant, that doesn't mean he's "really a woman."

[Jeatyn]

I do keep mentioning Thomas Beatie to them, but that's just a random stranger and I'm their "little girl"  so it seems like a pointless comparison in their eyes.

[Arch]

I do keep mentioning Thomas Beatie to them, but that's just a random stranger and I'm their "little girl"  so it seems like a pointless comparison in their eyes.

Figures. I don't suppose they would even read the book if they had it. And I have no idea whether it would give them any insight. I haven't read the book, either.

But I'm thinking of Beatie as a seahorse from now on.

[Jeatyn]

haha I love that a random comment from me about a seahorse is becoming a thing, I'm starting to debate a seahorse tattoo, that'd be pretty sweet

[Crow]

haha I love that a random comment from me about a seahorse is becoming a thing, I'm starting to debate a seahorse tattoo, that'd be pretty sweet

If not a tattoo, you at LEAST need to get a seahorse T-shirt or something.

[DamienR]

You have the right attitude.
I have three children, including a teenage son, and we share clothes.
Kids don't care.
He has been teased a bit, especially now in junior high, but we're working on it.
Good luck.

[Arch]

haha I love that a random comment from me about a seahorse is becoming a thing, I'm starting to debate a seahorse tattoo, that'd be pretty sweet

Like the chrysalis...except a seahorse is just for pregnant FTMs. It's a terrific symbol.

[Between Names]

One of my favorite transguys, Sky (skylarkeleven on youtube), has a tattoo of a seahorse on his hip.  I think it's a good symbol. 🙂

[V M]

I like seahorses  ... Often wish I could carry a child 

Best wishes Seahorse Daddy  🙂

[sneakersjay]

FWIW it wasn't much easier being pregnant when I didn't realize that I was trans (knew I ID'd as male but didn't know it had a name or a cure at the time).  It was surreal, kind of like it wasn't really happening to me, wasn't really me, but at the same time it was.  Probably because I didn't identify with mothers, or becoming a mom, or all the other stuff that pertains to pregnant women.

I did ask my son the other day (who has always been a clingy love bug) if he missed having a 'mom' and he said no, he had me, and he loved me.  I love that kid!  (Love both kids!)


Jay