man, dude, bro, boss, chief, and the dreaded..

[Torn1990]

BIG GUY.
I AM A PALE SKINNY WHITE PERSON. 
BIG GUY?!!? I love how some of these phrases, such as big guy, are normally used by those dominant male personalities and from males who are super buff self-ego boosting by reflecting comments off my skinny frame. It makes me want to scream. Mostly because I can't stand how they get off on that. It's just so suggestive and buddy-buddy.. GAWD.  (breathes) wow sorry i'm just vomiting emotion on this intro.. heh.

Anyways, I have a new situation! I'm still going to my weekly therapy appointments as well as MTF meetings twice a month,  which has calmed me down quite a bit! (I think I even made a friend, not sure where it will go yet!)
I'm taking things really slow.. I just moved out from the shared room i was in with two guys(awful but i managed) into a house where i get my very own bedroom! So it is a much more convenient situation for me..The privacy so far has been superb.   
My only question is.. Should I tell my new room mates that I am transgender? I just met them randomly off craigslist and so far they seem like decent guys.. But oh god are they guys. Very very typical.. Ever since I walked through that door i've been called every type of male-bonding pet name. I literally took a moment to lock myself in my car, turn the music up, drive around the corner and scream my head off.  (my therapist advised this as a release methud. I had done it before, but now i'm doing it often and it definitely seems to ease my anxiety)
Anyway-- i hope by telling them it would cause them to treat me with consideration as a female-- because i hate being treated like a guy. Well, I hate it for reasons you can come up with i'm sure.

To be clear, i do not present-- though I am definitely discussing transitioning with my therapist. At the moment, i'm just coping and trying not to get into that horrible place I was in less then a month ago... I feel okay right now.. Still going through a lot of financial issues and family issues (nothing todo with being tg) but other then that i really have been scraping my way from that dark place i was in where i felt absalutely nothing, desperately, because i'm depressed enough as it is. I think i'm okay. I think.
So yes, just wanted your opinion! Should I tell them? Or just continue to take the dude calls with a shrug. I used to try to just never use them back and see if they would cease, but it only makes it worse. But that could be my imagination and I may just be reacting worse and worse.  At work, I can somewhat tollerate it, but i'm hoping coming home could be different. These guys seem like very straight forward conservative men into sports just doing their daily thing..

If you have no advice i don't mind experiences being shared. I think I prefer those they help me a lot more then advice does so far.

aaron.

(PS: I honestly have to say, I do not expect people to just understand and accept this. I wont be able to answer a lot of questions if they have any without wanting to explode and i have a feeling they may not react well. Do any of you know an alternative to get them to stop calling me the phrases? Maybe I should just tell them I prefer my name.)
Something i also fear is being seen as gay. ( It wouldn't surprise me if these men were homophobic let alone.. ) It makes me feel creepy. I am not a homophobic-- but it doesnt feel right at all and makes me uncomfortable. So it's kind of a difficult situation...as you all can probably understand.)

[Sandy]

Aaron:

First off, it's good to hear that the therapy and meetings are giving you some relief.  I hope it continues.

The one thing about telling someone, is that you can't untell them.  Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, there is no way to put it back.  There are a couple of things to consider if you are gong to tell them.  One is, of course, what you mentioned.  You say that they appear to be somewhat homophobic, or at least do not have consideration for people outside their experience.  Ther reaction could be very antagonistic to you and may put pressure on you to move out.  Also, if you tell them, do not expect them to keep it a secret.  They will more than likely tell everyone they know.  And their reaction to you could be antagonistic as well.

Eventually you will have to tell them if you decide to transition, that is true.  But if you do it now, it may put pressure on you to transition before you feel you are ready.

I know being referred to as dude, bro, and all the rest is demeaning, but I'm not sure I have an idea as to what to do to get them to stop without causing them to start to wonder about you.  Guys can be pretty insensitive to others emotions sometimes.  Maybe an extra scream or two may be called for.

This is a long journey that we are on, but you taken some very good steps along that path.  I'm very happy to hear it.

We are here for you and you can turn to us whenever you need.  You'll always find a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen.

-Sandy

[Kay]

I think both of the above are good advice Aaron.  If you're not ready for everything that coming-out entails...sometimes you just have to bite your lip, and bear it in the short-term.  Turn up the music and let out an extra scream when necessary.
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I get the same thing at work from a couple of people.  "Big guy" is pretty common...and bugs the hell out of me.  They don't mean anything bad by it, and since I'm not ready to come out yet...I let it go for now.  And comfort myself with the fact that someday...when I'm ready...I won't have to hear it anymore.  Unfortunately, that day is not today...so patience is key for me in doing this safely.
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I'd be careful about coming out to your roomates.  I had a gay friend who came out freshman year in college (dorms).  Unfortunately he had an über-conservative homophobic bible-thumping roomate.  It wasn't pretty.  My friend ended up spending most of his time away from the room, because the other guy made living there intollerable. 
Later on in the semester when my friend gained a bit of confidence back, it got really really messy...as he would do anything he could to cheese off the homophobic guy and his closed-minded friends in the nearby rooms.  (Putting Madonna's "Deeper and Deeper" on endless repeat, maxing the speakers and locking the room...then leaving...was probably the worst.  The whole floor wasn't happy with him...but he was past caring at that point.      )  Still...point is...you would probably be better off finding more accepting roomates first if you don't have anywhere else to go. 
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Honestly...even though you're afraid of being seen as gay, a gay roomate may be more accepting than most straight guys.  People will assume what they want to.  When i first came out to someone, the very first question I was asked was "Are you gay?"  Most people don't understand the differences, and it sometimes takes a bit of explaining to convince them that you're something else.  I guess for me, personally I am gay...just not in the way that people would think based upon my appearance.     After a few improvements to my body that'll take a couple of years...I won't be ashamed to say that I am...because such a relationship will be possible then.  But it takes time to build confidence in who you are...and to not care about the casual assumptions of people that don't really matter in your life.
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Take care,
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Kay

[arbon]

So yes, just wanted your opinion! Should I tell them?

Based on what you wrote my thought is no. It just does  not seem like a good idea.

Maybe I should just tell them I prefer my name

That might make it little easier  for you without as much risk.