Reaction from friends.

[MRH]

Ive come out to a few people now and most of them ask me the same questions. For example one friend keeps asking me this:

"i know its your decision but dont you think its a bit pointless if you're not actually going to be a guy (with all the right parts if you get my meaning lol) ?"

I've explained that i dont feel the need to change "down there" yet she still seems to ask this question. I've found with everyone that they think that I want to be a man when infact I am a man but just have the wrong body and they cant seem to understand that so it gets a little frustrating at times. Still I cant complain because they have been nice about it. I guess it just annoys me that they still refer to me as a woman and see me as a "woman wanting to be a man" instead of just a man. And if I do transistion I hope my friend will see me as a male even if I dont have a penis.

This makes me worry about coming out to my mum because, again, I dont think she will understand that I am a male. I dont WANT to be male. I AM a male.I just got assigned the wrong body lol. Anyway im just ranting now lol.

[Janet_Girl]

Most people do not realize that gender is not what is down there.  It is what is between the ears.

Cis-people will never understand that part.  They are all about what is down there, because between the ears matches.  But you said it best, you are a Man.  And that is what you have to focus on when talking to friends and family.

Stand your ground.

[spacial]

I might add, what is between your legs is you business.

If anyone is concerned about it, perhaps they should be explaining why.

Apart from that, echoing what Janet has said.

[K8]

Before my surgery I was male but not a man.  I always made that distinction.  So to me you are a man but not male.  And it sounds like that is fine with you. 

As Spacial said, it shouldn't be their concern what is "down there" unless the two of you develop the kind of relationship where that becomes relevant.

Gender permeates almost all of our lives and how we live them and how we relate to others.  If you are a man psychologically and socially, it may not be important to you to be male physically and legally.  I don't think the difference is nit-picking but may help cis-gendered people to understand.  You might just tell them that you need to live as a man, and leave it at that.

Be you.

- Kaet

[Jam]

My mum sort of said something along those lines to me, she said

' you have breasts and periods, your a woman'

I replied with this

' so do you but that doesnt make you a woman you just know you are in your head. Im a boy in my head always have been'

she went quiet after that, maybe you should try it. Your friends didnt look down one day and think 'oh' they just knew, thats what i try to get people i tell to realise. Its not about privates. Suprisingly my mum doesn't know im trans lol

[Rock_chick]

Funnily enough I'm having the exact same problem with my parents...especially my mother. They just can't seem to grasp that I am a woman even though I have a male body. It's hard because they just don't seem to understand the jarring disconnect between your gender and body you get with GD.

If they're being supportive (which my parents are) the best thing is to keep talking...don't back down, but at the same time don't get your back up. Eventually they'll get it (at least that's what I'm hoping) because they'll have no choice but to accept you as you. It's still frustrating and I sympathise totally.

[Nicky]

I sometimes say "Imagine you had a terrible accident and you ended up just a brain in a jar - would you consider yourself a man/woman still?"

usually gets people thinking in the right direction...

[kyle_lawrence]

My mum sort of said something along those lines to me, she said

' you have breasts and periods, your a woman'

Next time you should ask her  what that would make a post-menopausal breast cancer survivor, who's had a double mastectomy.  Is she not a woman then?