Susan's Place Logo

News:

According to Google Analytics 25,259,719 users made visits accounting for 140,758,117 Pageviews since December 2006

Main Menu

Taking advantage of benefits for females/women

Started by Nygeel, June 01, 2010, 08:53:02 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Nygeel

This is a topic I discussed before with some cisgender friends who don't agree with the situation but for myself I don't feel as if I was in the wrong. So, advice or any sort of thoughts would be awesome.

I have been living as male for a few years, pre-T, non-passing the majority of the time and my name and gender on my ID are both female. A few months ago I went to a bar to celebrate my friend's birthday. It wasn't a "queer" bar. I was asked for ID when I went to get a drink and was told it was ladies night which meant many drinks were free where as I would've paid maybe $8 for a long island iced tea. Since I don't have much money, didn't have to worry about driving and was there for a friend I just went with the bartender reading me as female.

Is it necessarily a bad thing to take advantage of things typically reserved to women?

Edit to add: I apologize if this isn't a topic that would ordinarily fit in this forum.
  •  

Elijah3291

I only think it would be wrong if you dressed up feminine.. JUST to get the free drinks, but if you were already read as female.. well, hey, free drinks.

  •  

DRAIN

the only problem i can see with it is losing credibility with cis people that may think "well you got  free drinks you're not REALLY..."blahblahblah

other than that, hell go for it. if i was of the body type that was popular at the moment lemme tell you i would be taking advantage of it  :D
-=geboren um zu leben=-



  •  

rexgsd

well i think it comes down to you really. like, are you willing to be seen as female for a night to get cheaper/free drinks? i mean, personally its something i don't think i'd do.

i could see how that could be offensive or disagreed with or w/e.
☥fiat justitia ruat coelum☥

"Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls. Its a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world." - The Kinks

  •  

jmaxley

I think a guy having to live in a female body deserves a free drink.
  •  

Nygeel

Well...with myself the thing is that my friends and the people I was there with called me by a male name and male pronouns. It was just a matter of the bartender is going to see my female ID and reading me as female. It wasn't a bar I frequented or would go back to by choice. It's not my kinda bar.
  •  

LordKAT

If I don't pass getting into strip clubs, I figure they lost the money, I didn't steal it.
  •  

Lachlann

I think a lot of people, probably your friends included, have taken advantage of a situation like that.

They're called loop holes, I'm sure they've done it before.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
  •  

confused

as captain jack sparrow always said , take what you can get and give nothing back
  •  

Elijah3291

Quote from: eNTROPY on June 01, 2010, 09:08:39 PM
as captain jack sparrow always said , take what you can get and give nothing back
oooh  I like you :) movie quotes? johnny depp movie quotes...

highfive!
  •  

jmaxley

"And wuv, twu wuv, will fowow you foweva..."

Oops, wrong topic.  :D
  •  

Elijah3291

Quote from: jmaxley on June 01, 2010, 09:28:48 PM
"And wuv, twu wuv, will fowow you foweva..."

Oops, wrong topic.  :D

princess bride?
  •  


Lachlann

LOL, I was just watching that movie yesterday.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
  •  

Nygeel

Anygaaaay my friends had thought that if I want to be seen as a man then I have to give up the advantages given to women/females. That I'm undo-ing progress for myself and trans folks in general...

Just wanted to make sure that I'm not the only one thinking the way I do.
  •  

Arch

Quote from: Nygeel on June 01, 2010, 09:45:34 PM
Anygaaaay my friends had thought that if I want to be seen as a man then I have to give up the advantages given to women/females. That I'm undo-ing progress for myself and trans folks in general...

You know what? We get screwed all the time by "the system." If I change my sex with my health insurance company, I suddenly can't get the maintenance healthcare I need. But if some women's clinic is willing to do it for a reduced price and I have the parts...okay, I wouldn't go to a women's clinic, but some guys might.

It's your decision. But if you have to flash your ID and your ID has an "F," go for it. I see what your friends are saying, but it's not like you went out of your way to deceive someone; you are legally female.

We get few enough advantages as it is.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
  •  

Nygeel

Quote from: Arch on June 01, 2010, 10:57:05 PM
You know what? We get screwed all the time by "the system." If I change my sex with my health insurance company, I suddenly can't get the maintenance healthcare I need. But if some women's clinic is willing to do it for a reduced price and I have the parts...okay, I wouldn't go to a women's clinic, but some guys might.

It's your decision. But if you have to flash your ID and your ID has an "F," go for it. I see what your friends are saying, but it's not like you went out of your way to deceive someone; you are legally female.

We get few enough advantages as it is.
That was my sort of view of it. The whole binary view of things screws us all over so we should be able to take advantage of whatever we can.
  •  

sneakersjay

You know you're male, your friends know you're male, we know you're male.  But unfortunately the government and your ID still says you are F. So WTF go with it.  We get screwed over enough as it is.

I did it with regards to my hysto when I had just started T, and I did it again so insurance covered a mammogram and EKG even though my ID at that time was M, I purposely didn't change my insurance over until after.

So if a bar wants to give free drinks to people with an F on their ID, let them.

Jay


  •  

alex408

psh I went to the club on ladies night to get in free until I started getting facial hair. screw it, go for it
  •  

kyril

I think there's a lot more opportunity for us to feel guilty about this sort of thing than there is for the MTFs, because on those rare occasions when society confers an advantage on female-bodied people it tends to do so loudly and publicly. That, added to the fact that we can go full-time sooner with fewer repercussions, means that we're going to find ourselves in these situations sometimes.

In contrast, the ladies' transition process is such that they might spend years going 'part-time', benefiting economically and socially from male privilege, but being unaware of it because male privilege is handed out much more quietly than free drinks on ladies' night. And I don't think any of us would say that an early-transition trans woman is wrong if she allows herself to be read as male at work or at a job interview, even though the economic benefit of that is a heck of a lot more than a few $8 cocktails.


  •