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Hopeless

Started by BoyDani, June 01, 2010, 09:13:45 PM

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Muddy

Suicide is always an option, post-transition.

However, transition is not an option, post-suicide.
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Teknoir

Define "suicide".

Killing off a fake persona? Yes, I'm all for it.

The other kind? Hell no.

While you are alive, you still have a chance of finding happiness. When you are dead, you do not. Even if that chance is a long shot, it's still better than a definite zero.

If the end goal is to be happy, then staying alive appears to be the more logical option.

I've been there, I've done that, I've been rock bottom. The way out is all about being kind enough to yourself to give yourself a chance. Give yourself permission to exist.

Give yourself a chance to live before you go killing yourself off.

That zombie state? That's not living. That's barely existing. You aren't growing, changing, or working towards anything. Essentially, you don't exist - if you died then they'd bury you in drag and stick someone else's name on your tombstone.

Transition is an odd thing. It can be frustrating, confusing, awkward... all sort of things. But it's also liberating, exhilarating, and just downright wonderful. It's violently tearing off a stuffy, smelly old costume and feeling the fresh breeze against your skin for the first time.

I personally wouldn't describe it as painful or miserable in the least.

There is no way out of your life. So why not make it so damn awesome you don't want out? Stand up, take charge, and do what you've gotta do to be happy.
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Vancha

QuoteIt's violently tearing off a stuffy, smelly old costume and feeling the fresh breeze against your skin for the first time.

I love this.  I'm just starting transition and I already feel a vague sense of that, although not completely.  I think physical transition is very important to me.  I've only started to socially transition, and even that is freeing.  But feeling the breeze against my skin for the first time, that will really be something.

I have thought about suicide.  Who, in our position, hasn't at one point or another?  It is such a hard thing to do at times, but I find hope in those further along the path, who are happy, centered, intelligent and inspired people who live with purpose.  That is really all you can ask for in life, and for us it's a particular struggle to find those things, but for many others who are cisgendered, for whatever reason it is a struggle as well.  There are always reasons that we are lucky.  There will always be people greater and lesser than you; luckier, and less lucky.  I think a meaningful life, a life well-lived and a life that truly leaves a mark, is always one that comes with adversity.  Think about the people who have changed the world.  Scientists, great artists and politicians; all of these people suffered in one way or another.  Those who live average lives very rarely step up to the plate to make change.

Sure, some of us don't want to do that, but we still can be happy.

Besides, I also want to watch House, M.D. and play my... piano.   ;D
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LordKAT

Quote from: Muddy on June 01, 2010, 11:30:38 PM
Suicide is always an option, post-transition.

However, transition is not an option, post-suicide.

Short, to the point and using logic type statements. I like it.
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Radar

Quote from: Teknoir on June 02, 2010, 01:27:36 AMDefine "suicide".

Killing off a fake persona? Yes, I'm all for it.

You know, this is kind of how I feel right now. I'd more than love to pick everything up and leave everything behind. Start a new life with no connections to anyone I know now- including family. Just sort of disappear, you know?

Even though I love my family and some are supportive there's still the past of being born and raised female. Non-transsexual bio males never have to go through that. It's something we can't change yet a scourge to us.

Post Merge: June 02, 2010, 08:37:55 AM

Quote from: Teknoir on June 02, 2010, 01:27:36 AM...if you died then they'd bury you in drag and stick someone else's name on your tombstone.

People are forgetting that's not our choice. Our family will dress us up and put whatever name they want on your tombstone. If they're supportive of your transition than hopefully they'll use your real name. If not they'll use your birth name. We have no call on that.

This doesn't seem to bother me too much. When I die my body and name are just a shell- never the true me. When dead my soul will be my true self and form- whatever that is.
"In this one of many possible worlds, all for the best, or some bizarre test?
It is what it is—and whatever.
Time is still the infinite jest."
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zombiesarepeaceful

I'm not gonna advocate suicide. But I believe that we're all just energy channeled into bodies. The thought of suicide has crossed my mind plenty of times. Cause I believe that we're reincarnated. But who knows, we might be reincarnated as the same thing all over again, because we didn't have the strength to deal with it and get through life in whatever way possible. It does make sense to me. The thought of ever becomign something acceptably male on the outside to ourselves is pretty hopeless when you start to transition. But as you move on, it gets easier. You don't get the reward without a fight and we all go through hell daily to achieve a final outcome of transitioning. It's worth it. But you ultimately have to make that decision.
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