Hopeless

[BoyDani]

I do not mean to discourage any of you guys, you guys are much stronger than I in a lot of ways. I have one question, please ignore me if you want this is an extremely sensitive topic: Is Suicide the best option for us?

I have been thinking a lot lately and I've been mulling around with things. Everyone who is cisgendered is living and can continue living through struggles, they have lives. I consider myself to not have my life. As a transsexual, I feel as though that the best option, rather than going through the pain and misery of transition to be something that isn't anywhere near acceptable (for me anyway) is to simply end life prematurely.

I do not come to this conclusion through depression or sadness, but by logical conclusion and a large chunk of hopelessness. Please do not be offended, but what is your opinion? and bless all those depressed by this topic, my deepest regrets. I am positive you can live like happily, but I am confused as to what is right for me.

[Nygeel]

No. Therapy, transitioning, etc is all extremely helpful and does make the majority of us much happier with our lives.

[Squirrel698]

Absolutely not!  I don't have much time to write much but I just want to say this is a great opportunity for you.  Think about it, most people have no idea who they are.  They go through life missing out on so much because they never bother to learn about themselves.  You have been given a great gift.  Yes it's a gift that comes with a lot of hardships but the end result will be worth it. 

Hang on it will get better.  Follow the path that is set out before you.  It will lead to wonderful things.  Just stay the course.

[Lachlann]

There are cisgender people who have crippling disorders that are just as bad as what we have. I don't think the best option for them is suicide and I don't believe it is for us either.

Screw death, I want to live. I want to have a good life, and I've seen transgender people go from rock bottom to having amazing lives. I want that.

[Mischa]

You say you came to this conclusion through a logical sense? Logic should be telling you that you need to find a way/reason to keep living! It is depression and sadness that leads to these types of thoughts. You should seek some sort of counseling soon if these thoughts keep persisting.

Yes, even cisgendered people have struggles, you said it yourself. They make it through their struggles because the develop a plan of what needs to be done to overcome the issue.

Don't think of the process as a whole. small steps is the best as with any major under taking.

Remember, everyone here is going through a similar situation. I does get lonely sometimes, but it gets better!

[Osiris]

Many cisgendered people feel the same way. Don't set yourself apart or think that you're alone because you're trans. A lot of what you're thinking and feeling is stuff that people who don't have gender issues is thinking and feeling even if it's related to another topic. I know it can seem like others have it good and that transition is an epic mountain to climb but through persistence and patience you can get there.

I know you feel you don't have the right life hey I've felt like that too, but you do have a life and you can make the most of it while you're here.

Life is a compromise. Every one has to bend a little on what they want. Our challenge is working with what we're given physically while being who we are.

If you think that suicide is the way out because you're not going to be happy with the results of transition, please just give transition a try. I know it's discouraging when you start out and realize how many short comings there are but there are so many good things that can come out of transition that can outweigh those short comings. The only  way you'll truly know is if you try.

[jmaxley]

Yeah, it's worth giving transitioning a try.

[sneakersjay]

Transition literally saved my life.  Finally, I can just be ME.

The before sucks.  Early transition sucks.  But post transition, life can truly begin.

Will it cure all of your problems? No.  But it's a bit easier to deal with life without the constant dysphoria.


Jay

[Elijah3291]

I would rather live, and then (after time) die.. as male.. even if Im not FULLY biologically male.

I want to die, accepted as who I am.. and I want to be buried in mens clothing, under MY name.

I am determined to do whatever I can to be happy.. even if it is expensive, and difficult, and not accepted.

[Inkwe Mupkins]

I know where you coming from. When I think about suicide I think about it logically. For me I think suicide is a way. I think in reality. Reality is is that when your dead you have no emotion, no pain, nothing. I look at it as were gonna die anyways mise well not have to endure all the BS.

If your feeling suicidal get help though talk to someone. I don't want anyone to commit suicide but I consider myself fair game.

Ppl might say suicide isn't logical thinking but
it can be. I know that if I die I won't be able to watch House M.D or play my sax, which I love to do. Personally I could care less if I was happy I just don't want to be miserable which I am now.

[Lachlann]

Transition literally saved my life.  Finally, I can just be ME.

The before sucks.  Early transition sucks.  But post transition, life can truly begin.

Will it cure all of your problems? No.  But it's a bit easier to deal with life without the constant dysphoria.


Jay

It's stuff like this that makes me feel better about things. I'm in early transition, things aren't automatically better yet, but I know they'll get better eventually.

Transition doesn't cure all problems like Jay says, but at least you'll have one less thing to worry about. One huge thing I might add, the rest of your energy can go to improving the other things.

[Radar]

I hate to be against the grain but yeah, BoyDani, I've thought about that too. From a completely logical and rational aspect- not a depressed, emo state. I think I don't even care emotionally anymore.

[notyouraverageguy]

I hate to be against the grain but yeah, BoyDani, I've thought about that too. From a completely logical and rational aspect- not a depressed, emo state. I think I don't even care emotionally anymore.

I kind of feel the same.
I wish I would've been born a biomale &nothing will ever change that &I can never fully be what I was supposed to. And maybe id come back as a true full bio male. Idk. But I figure hey its life, im living, im alive &somewhat well, so ill try to make the best of it.

[Arch]

I do not come to this conclusion through depression or sadness, but by logical conclusion and a large chunk of hopelessness.

Hopelessness is a big part of depression. You may be depressed without realizing it. Have you talked to a professional about this?

[Lachlann]

Arch is right, depression is more than just feeling sad or down. Feeling hopeless or losing interest in things is a huge part of it. A lot of people who suffer from depression don't realize it at first because it's not always this immense sorrow.

It can eat at you in different ways.

[BoyDani]

Hopelessness is a big part of depression. You may be depressed without realizing it. Have you talked to a professional about this?

Since I've realised my dysphoria I haven't been depressed like I normally always was, so I figured I wasn't anymore. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression since seven years old. I haven't talk to anyone about this, really. I live in a really small town in a homophobic state :/

But I didn't realise depression could cause hopelessness? I thought that was normal. I guess I'm not as happy as I thought I was, but at least I'm happier than I was before.

[aydan_boy]

This topic is awfully deppresing.  I can see your point though. Sometimes i wonder if suicide is the best thing to do as well, theres no way out of this life given to us, no way to get what we wan't without being a "disgrace" never fully complete, no childhood to look back on and feel warm about, families that rather disown us than speak to us...

Now you got me in a grey mood   
Don't feel hopeless... Look for the rainbow, look for the silver lining. Theres gotta be one somewhere...

[Arch]

A lot of people think that depression is just sad feelings. It can be, but it can also be a vast reduction in feelings of any kind. I call it "zombie mode" because I become inhumanly unemotional, shuffling along through life, brain dead, eating tree bark instead of enjoying my food. I have found that all of my feelings have been damped, even the happy ones.

I'm still learning how to deal with happy feelings. They are overwhelming when you're not used to them.

If you can, seek help in a neighboring town. Or find an online therapist. If you're in college, get counseling through your school. I'm not sure I can recommend high school counseling services...the people there are legally required to inform your parents of certain things. That happened to me when I was a teenager, and all hell broke loose at home.

Of course, it was a respectable hell. This is my mother we're talking about.

[Hermione01]

It's horrible feeling a sense of hopelessness and as Arch has said, it's a part of depression. Sometimes when in this state, it's best to take each day as it comes and try to enjoy it.
Looking too far into the future isn't always a good idea when we're depressed because it seems so far out of reach, and we haven't noticed the tiny steps that we've already taken.

[Osiris]

Since I've realised my dysphoria I haven't been depressed like I normally always was, so I figured I wasn't anymore.

After I figured out my gender stuff depression changed for me too. I use to get hit with these mind numbing, all consuming sadness depressions. After figuring out my gender there were the stress, worry and frustration and often hopeless depressions. Many times I didn't feel sad at all but it did spark a depression because I was in a slump where I just didn't feel right with myself and the world.