How female are you in your head?

[tammie]

I'm new here.  So I thought I would dive right in with the question that compelled me to sign up to a TG board.  I'm very cursious as to how female other guys feel in there head.  I am a gay male but very often in sexual terms I think of myself as being completely female. I don't have any interest in dressing or acting female, but inside my head in terms of sexuality I begin to wonder if it might now be better to describe myself as a heterosexual female rather than as a gay male. 

[LordKAT]

First, Welcome to Susan's.

Second Glad your here and hope you find what your looking for.

Sounds like you are still working out what it is you feel and are. I personally do not feel fem but that makes sense since I am FTM.

[spacial]

It's a bit difficult to say really, since the only head I know about is my own.

I went through the usual experiences that affected so many, wanting to play with girls when I was little, not really understanding the way other boys became so competitive as I was growing up.

There are obviously other explainations for wanting to look like a girl so these on their own are not as significant as I might wish.

But, as I grew older and didn't manage to fit into the social positions that society allocates to men, I eventually realised the problem is I am simply not capable.

There are clearly different notions of the differences between men and women, on an emotional and social level. My preferred is that men are instinctively hunters. They join peer groups and work to win a position near to the alpha.

Women are nest builders. They instinctivly seek to build a base to raise children.

I know I fit into the latter.

[Jam]

Hi Tammie

I am FTM but i will try give you what goes on in my head and you can just switch it and see if it fits with you.

Personally in a sexual sense i think of myself as a straight male rather then a lesbian. Lesbian just does not fit right with me, i feel it is not who i am. At the same time though i constantly think of myself as male in all other situations as well. I want to dress in male clothing, it makes me feel far more confident as a person and i prefer to be called male pronouns. I get a sort of buzz from people i've never met assuming im a boy. I also want to take hormones to masculinize myself and have surgery to make me a guy.

Not everyone wants hormones or surgery some people are content with just changing there names and what they wear. There are also people who are say FTM who crossdress in womens clothing. If you are happier thinking of yourself as a women then that is fine it does not mean you have to do anything to change your body or the way you dress if you dont want to. You may be androgyne i don't know much about that im afraid so maybe you could check with someone else but as far as im aware it means you feel you are neither or both genders (sorry if thats wrong  ).
What im trying to say is gender is much like sexuality in that its fluid. You could feel like a woman on occasions but that does not mean that you are MTF. Only you will know the answer to that  of course but i hope this helps

[brainiac]

I'm a nerdy, fruity guy with a female body. So, despite my female parts, I'm feminine sometimes in my head, but never female, since it's like my brain expects my body to be male. I know that I want to be identified by others as not-female (so, gender neutral or male), but I'm not sure yet whether I'm going to need to take T or have surgery.

What do you mean "in terms of sexuality"? Do you mean that you imagine yourself to be female during sex, but never other times?

[Eva Marie]

I'm genderfluid, so it varies from 0% to about 60-70% on girly days. Apparently there is a trigger for me that flips on girl mode, but i haven't quite figured out what that is just yet 

[Pica Pica]

I guess the answer to this question would have to rely on an independent observer - I spose I feel most female when I am doing feminine type things - like browsing shops and getting my nails painted - but I don't think I am more female at that point because I am increasingly disassociating actions from gender out of habit.

[Kaelin]

I think my approach is analogous to Pica Pica.

On gender identity (which is separate from Pica's case): I feel like a man, so I'm a man.

On gender expression (which is related to Pica's case): I do some things that are considered masculine and some things that are considered feminine.  However, the labels of masculine and feminine in this context are not important to me.  I don't do these things to feel or be masculine or feminine -- I just want to do the activity because of its merit.  If I were to tally the stereotypes, I'd probably come out 70% male and 30% female, but it wouldn't matter if it instead came out to 70% female and 30% male.

[rejennyrated]

I have no idea and I don't really care.

I am a human being. I like being physically female. All I can say is I have a female body I have almost zero testosterone and I have enough estrogen in my veins to soften concrete!

Decades ago, prior to SRS I guess I would have analysed my actions and thoughts to figure out if I was behaving or thinking in a male or female way. These days I simply don't have time to do all that. I just do what I want to do and let others worry about how they want to see me.

[kyril]

Well, my sexual/relationship identity has always been indisputably gay male rather than heterosexual female, even when I was presenting primarily as heterosexual female. I don't see any reason why yours couldn't be the other way round.

[oniRyan]

I'm genderfluid, so it varies from 0% to about 60-70% on girly days. Apparently there is a trigger for me that flips on girl mode, but i haven't quite figured out what that is just yet 

I'm androgyne... intersexed... but I wouldn't call myself genderfluid...

At any given time I'm mentally between 40% and 90% female (but not 100% ... I don't really ever mentally hit that degree of femmininity) ...

[[ see introduction -- https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,78624.0.html ]]

[FlyerBullyBoyFanGirl]

androgyne female here-
i am about 10 percent female- that is about it.

[Shang]

I'm a nerdy, fruity guy with a female body. So, despite my female parts, I'm feminine sometimes in my head, but never female, since it's like my brain expects my body to be male. I know that I want to be identified by others as not-female (so, gender neutral or male), but I'm not sure yet whether I'm going to need to take T or have surgery.

This is pretty much me.  I've called myself a "gay guy in a girl's body" since I was 17 or so, and it's how my friends describe me as well.  The only surgery I plan on having is top surgery, or at least a breast reduction surgery so I can start to look more androgynous and be able to flip between male and female in looks.

[uni]

Tammie, how would you define being female on the inside? The way you think females are on the inside could be very different than how they actually feel, and even then, it would be impossible to measure or define.

I don't think its possible to determine someone's gender or even sexual orientation from the inside alone. Presentation, expression, and behavior are the best means of reflecting whats on the inside and that isn't a perfect match either.

Differences in the male/female brain go no further than hormones and biology in my opinion. The degree to which hormones affect thought processes that we later label masculine or feminine are anybody's guess. The rest is learned.

[Ashley Allison]

I don't think it is a matter of being necessarily 'female' in one's brain...  I think that femaleness is a real concept, but it is worthless in some senses to define how female one is.  This is because when we define how feminine we are we are looking through the biased lenses of ourself.  Additionally, one may be completely female on the inside, or not, and suppress there true behaviors, emotions, etc.  In other words, people maybe biased by societal pressures to examine who they are inside.  I think the real question is whether one identifies as female internally.  That is the worthwhile.  An individual may fall under all the classic female traits, such as a feminine gay man, and still identify as a male.  Likewise, a macho stud may work out all the time and be buff, but identify as female inside.  As for me, I identify as female at my core level! :0)

[childofwinter]

Just in my head?

I don't know if I can give a percentage or anything, but I suppose at least 40% female in my head. In my daydreams I am probably closer to 60% female, but this is usually via a character I created who I like to pretend to be in my daydreams 9in fact, I hardly ever daydream without pretending to be him now).

At my very core, at the middle, I would say that I was genderless and sexless - completely androgyne. On the outside, the superficial shell that everyone else sees, I'm probably 95-100% male with only a slight femininity showing - any femininity in myself is within my own head, although I don't act very stereotypically male at all (I'm more of a quiet, bookish nerd who writes poems and fanfiction).