While writing in another thread, I suddenly remembered something my therapist and I talked about a few weeks ago--they way I used to sort of disconnect my mind from my body. I was wondering if anyone did that pre-transition but not so much anymore--or, if you're pre-transition or non-transition, do you do it now?
Here's an example of what I'm talking about. I couldn't cope with having a female body, so for years I cultivated a lack of awareness about it. So, even though I was on the Pill and knew exactly when my period should start and when I should begin having symptoms, the early signs (backache, headache, cramps, nausea, and especially a sudden increase in depression) caught me by surprise almost every time.
The side effect was that I was not in touch with my body in normal ways, either. So I would have a vicious headache but not become fully aware of it for hours. I would just ignore it, becoming less and less functional, until I couldn't work anymore. Only then would I take a couple of Ibu. Or in the winter, my feet would get colder and colder; I only noticed when they started to ache. I even switched off hunger and thirst.
Right now, I'm having to learn how to be aware of my body. It's weird. Steep learning curve.
Anyone else?
