Why is it so hard? help?

[Allen]

 Why does coming out have to be such a difficult thing to do? It's bad enough that I'm horrible at verbalizing my thoughts when I'm haveing a completely normal conversation with someone, so trying to tell my mom I'm not actually her "little girl" is a verbal train wreck.

My mom told me a few weeks ago that we would have to move by the end of July. I want to be able to come out to her because I want to be able to tell people I'm male in a state where no one knows I use to be female. My mom is pretty open minded and is very accepting of people. I know that if I told her that with a little time she would be accept me and be supportive. In the end every time i try to tell her all I do is spit out some useless nonsense about what I did with my friends that day.

I don't think it would come as a complete surprise to my mom, I've been wearing boys clothes since I was about 10 (I told her I wore them because most female clothes for teens make them look like trailer trash, which I know isn't really true) and I never get upset when we go out and people call me sir instead of ma'am. 

If anyone out there could give me some kind of advice on how to at least start to tell her I would greatly appreciate it. Otherwise I fear I'll end up going with my plan B option which is next time I see her blurt out "I'm a boy" and then run out the door. Which I feel is not the best way to go about this.

[Fenrir]

I sympathise, I'm awful at explaining stuff to people, especially stuff that's important to me, like my gender identity. I go bright red and get the shakes, it's really frustrating. My advice is to write down your explanation in a letter and give it to your mother, because that way you can take as much time over the details in it as you want, and it gets the first hurdle out of the way.
Good luck! I hope it goes according to plan.  🙂

[cynthialee]

Read through the coming out forum. Also give this a read...
https://www.susans.org/reference/gfam4.html
I would sugest writing it out a fewe diferant ways and memorizing the key points then talk face to face.
Or write her a letter and hand it to her and go sit calmly as she reads it then have a discussion.

I know it isn't easy. Hell my mom is an out loud and proud lesbian and it was like pulling teeth telling her.

[confused]

i know what you are talking about when it comes to verbalizing ordinary/usual things, i'm often misunderstood most of the time because of that . so writing it down and memorizing it or a letter both seem like nice ideas . i hope it all goes fine , good luck

[Allen]

Thank you everyone. I really feel a lot better about this now.

@cynthialee: I've been browsing through the coming out thread since the day I joined this site. Thanks a lot for the link, I was extremely helpful.

ƃuıxǝʌ:Thank you, I understand what your saying. However I'm almost 99% certain that my mom would react in way that would leave me homeless or disowned. I guess it's that 1% that has me worried... for the first time in my life I can't seem to think calmly about anything.