Waiting, waiting, waiting...

[jmaxley]

I asked my therapist about writing a letter for T and she's agreed to do so in 2 or 3 months if she thinks I'm ready.  I am SO stoked about this.     I had doubts I'd be able to get on it anytime in the next 6 months.

But I don't know how I'm going to stand the wait.  I'm not the most patient person anyway.  My mom wanted me to wait two or three years.  Umm, not happening.  I figure she's hoping I'll change my mind.  This has been on my mind off and on for 6 1/2 years...now that's it's finally happening, 2 months feels like an eternity.

To deal with the impatience, I'm starting to work out more.  Trying to get as healthy as I can.  I'm hoping to lose some weight.  I've bought some weights and will be buying more.  I can't wait to be able to build some muscle.

Time goes by....so...slowwwly.....  Come on, September!

[M.Grimm]

Congratulations! And I totally empathize. I'm down to my last month of a three month wait. Working out is an excellent idea (remember to stretch, too), you'll really condition your muscles for the growth they're going to get on T.

[Arch]

Do you know what doctor you'll see for your T? Mine had a month-long waiting list, so I needed some down time to schedule the appointment. Maybe you will, too.

You already know about the effects of T, yes? You know the risks, yes? You feel ready, yes? If so, why on earth is she dragging her feet?

Sorry, I don't want to criticize what may be a good relationship. And she might have good specific reasons for delaying a bit longer. But if you're ready to go and have been preparing yourself for a long time...well, I'm always suspicious of therapists who hold off until THEY think you're ready when you know you're ready and they have no particular concrete reason for putting you off. Maybe that's not the case here.

What do you have to do to convince her that you are indeed ready?

[Vancha]

My therapist, who is exceptionally wonderful, takes into consideration how long you think is right.  If she talks to you, finds that you are communicative and rational and are capable of making a decision such as this, she will give you a referral to an endocrinologist for T.  Basically, it's "I believe you are in a place in your life in which you will be able to reflect and communicate about your feelings", and that goes for starting T, too.  If it's the wrong thing, she expects that a communicative, rational person will be able to tell, I suppose.  In my opinion, a little extra caution isn't horrible, but you are, I assume, an adult capable of making these decisions for yourself.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I'm about the most impatient person I know. Plus I'm adhd...so you can imagine...

I actually went with informed consent. So it was about a 3 week period from the time I scheduled my appt, went to it not expecting to get on T the first visit...and got a nice surprise. So it was a little less hellish for me cause I didn't know it was going to happen when it did.

hang in there. It'll happen. Before you know it, it'll be a week...a month (like me, 2 days short of a month!), a year....it's worth the wait.

[jmaxley]

Do you know what doctor you'll see for your T? Mine had a month-long waiting list, so I needed some down time to schedule the appointment. Maybe you will, too.

Crap, didn't think about that.  It'd kill me to have to wait another month, even after getting the letter.  I do know which doctor, I need to call this week, I've got some other questions for him too (like, will he take my insurance).

You already know about the effects of T, yes? You know the risks, yes? You feel ready, yes? If so, why on earth is she dragging her feet?

Probably to cover her butt more than anything.

What do you have to do to convince her that you are indeed ready?

Great question.  I think I'll ask her that at the next session.

[Elijah3291]

Do you know what doctor you'll see for your T? Mine had a month-long waiting list, so I needed some down time to schedule the appointment. Maybe you will, too.

yea, thats what I wanted to do.. BUT I had to have a referal from my therapist in order to get my appointment.. so I had to wait until I got my letter.. so.. I got my letter a few weeks ago.. but my appointment is still a week or 2 away. bla.

just a warning to anyone out there

[Arch]

I was able to make the appointment before I had the letter in hand, and I got the impression that my endo was caring less and less about whether people had letters. I think he only looked at mine because I drew his attention to it.

Anyway, yeah, if you need to produce the letter or get a referral before getting the appointment, then there's more waiting. Jmaxley, I hope you get in quickly. If you can nail down your therapist's requirements, maybe you can get the letter faster.

[M.Grimm]

That's a good point and not one I'd thought of. My own wait was 3 months to see my endo which is what I've been waiting for, not to get a letter. It was the earliest appointment available. So yeah, for sure, get your ducks in a row ahead of time.

[Arch]

So yeah, for sure, get your ducks in a row ahead of time.

And then shoot 'em!!!!! Er, I mean, kindly feed them Purina Duck Chow.

[jmaxley]

I asked my therapist today about why the wait, and she said she wanted to make sure I was prepared for the challenges of transition.  If I wasn't prepared, I wouldn't be trying to get the ball rolling on this.  I know more about the transition process than she does; I'm having to educate her about it.

It's odd, but the more I pass, the more the dysphoria grows.  I've never wanted leg hair in my life, but lately I've been wishing my legs were hairier.

[Arch]

I asked my therapist today about why the wait, and she said she wanted to make sure I was prepared for the challenges of transition.  If I wasn't prepared, I wouldn't be trying to get the ball rolling on this.  I know more about the transition process than she does; I'm having to educate her about it.

Maybe she feels out of her depth professionally.

Do you trust her and have a good working relationship with her?

[elvistears]

My psychiatrist is going to refer me to an endo when I see him next. Unfortunately that's a couple of months away. I felt a bit annoyed he wanted to wait to my next appt with him, but I guess I hadn't told him much about my transition because I'd had a different therapist for that - I see the psych doc for separate mental health issues. He's a really good doctor though and knows lots of trans-experienced doctors, so I think I'm ok with waiting a bit more.

He says I also will have to get my psych eval done by someone else because he's too subjective or something.  And that I will have to hard out prove I'm stable because I have a previous mood disorder. I've been really stable for ages now though, so he thinks it'll be fine.

Soz just rambling, sometimes it still seems so far away even though it'll happen by the end of the year.

[jmaxley]

Maybe she feels out of her depth professionally.

Do you trust her and have a good working relationship with her?

She's kind of mediocre, as far as therapists go.  I was looking for another one but when she said she may write the letter for me, well, I'd hate to have to start all over with a new therapist.  If she still won't write the letter after a couple of months, I will find a new one.

[Arch]

If she still won't write the letter after a couple of months, I will find a new one.

Good lord, I hope you don't need to do that!

[jmaxley]

Good lord, I hope you don't need to do that!

yeah, me too.  The only endo within driving distance who's willing to prescribe T to ftms won't do informed consent.   

In good news, I've found a new place to move to where people don't know me as female.  It's the next town over, so I'll still run into people I know but it won't be a constant thing.  I'm planning on going by my male name.