Seeing my Father today, as me.

[Nat]

So yes, as the subject states, I am seeing my Father today, as me. I didn't really grow up with him, and have only recently became closer to him, being in similar circles and such.

I've come out to him via text message i guess, telling my name, and talking a bit about transgender in a round about but obvious way. I asked him what he would've called me if when i was born the doc declared male, and he said Sam or Samuel, and i replied with mentioning that is my iPod's name and a joke. The last few times he's seen me, I've definatly 'dressed male'. But it's different this time because i wasn't completely 'out' to him until now, but soon, i will be 'out' to everyone, he's sort of, last on my list.

I'm exited, i was planning to meet him with a friend but he called like 20 minutes ago and bailed on me at the last minute, so now i have to go alone or convince my Gf to come.. but that could cause problems.

Wish me luck, Nat.

[Jasmine.m]

Wow!! I'd be freaking out!! Hope it goes great!!

[Nat]

Thanks!, I hope so too. I sort of am freaking out, but what is the worst he can do? I guess he could Publicly embarrass me once, then i know where he stands. I'm meeting him in a place we always go, so i doubt he would make any scene's at all. Hence the calmer nerves. It's more that he offered me a lift home, that i worry about. 

[confused]

good luck , hope it goes all fine . and keep us updated

[Hermione01]

I hope you have good day with your father, Nat. He sounds pretty okay so far. 

[Nat]

ok, well, today didn't go terribly, but it didn't go great either. I was called by my full birth name by him and he took pics of me. Also i was forced to use the womens toilets, and couldn't just find a disabled because there wasn't one nearby. My Gf was there, and slept on me the whole time. And my father only sat near me whilst food was on the table, as we all ate quietly, then he left to commune with his mates. He said "love you too sweety" in response to me saying i loved him before i left, usually this makes me feel like i have a dad of some sort, today i sorta took sweety as being too feminine" but didn't say anything as it took long enough to get that.

I'm in a relatively bad mood at the moment due to relationship issues. I don't know what to do, but apparently i shouldn't be the one feeling guilty or bad. But i'm the one who's not coping with.. nevermind, It's personal.      

[justmeinoz]

You made the approach, and he is the one who was rude. So I wouldn't knock your effort. You tried, now it's his problem that he was a ...can't think of an appropriate term.
Give yourself a gold star kid!

[Nat]

  Thanks. He'll come round.

[Farm Boy]

It doesn't sound to me like he's trying to purposely say something to upset you so much as he's in denial.  He probably just needs more time to get used to the fact, or a more obvious "I am a boy, please use masculine terms for me" spelled out for him.  Either way, he could have had a much worse reaction, so congrats on that!

[Nat]

Today's phone call with my father, possibly seeing family on Sunday. he said: "..you'll be an old woman one day" I replied: "no, i'll either die young or be an old man" he said: "maybe.." . The conversation quickly shifted from that as he wanted to get back to whatever he was doing, or something. 

[Renate]

"..you'll be an old woman one day"

Yow! It's quotes (and thoughts) like that that chill us to the bone!

"Am I really going to die as an old (man/woman/fill-in-the blank)?" has been a sharp motivation for many.

[Jasmine.m]

Yow! It's quotes (and thoughts) like that that chill us to the bone!

"Am I really going to die as an old (man/woman/fill-in-the blank)?" has been a sharp motivation for many.

This is so very true. One of the biggest things I grapple with is my inability to see myself as an old man. Now an old lady? I can totally see myself there!!

[Nat]

I'm going to be an old man, even though i'll die younger than i would if i wasn't me. Because i need to be me. I've discussed with a few people in my life, (especially a few friends of mine who do EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING to prolong life, or believe in that stuff), What worth is prolonging your life, if you cannot enjoy a single moment of it because you're continuously stressing and battle your way to what you think will lengthen it, when truthfully being honest to yourself and enjoying your life, is better for your health, and on the chance you do die young, at least you've enjoyed it and been true to yourself!

[Rock_chick]

It doesn't sound like you're having a whole lot of fun there...I can sympathise totally with you. I told my parents about a month ago and they finally came down to see me two weeks ago...I'm still angry at the mother unit and haven't really felt like initiating conversation with them. However I've decided that there's not a lot I can do about that, so I'm concentrating all my effort on work...which is going really well.

It might be best to ignore everything with your dad at the moment and concentrate your efforts on the things you know you can change.

Big hugs from me and I hope you work things out OK.

[Nat]

thanks. *hugs* I saw biother (biological father) today, and it went terribly. But i MIGHT see him tomorrow, i asked him to call me Nathan, we never really had any form of relationship anyways, so i'm hoping we can get one from now. Let's see if he changes. 
Post Merge: June 20, 2010, 08:11:30 AM