Housing:
If cost is an issue, look into loans and student grants or financial aid. But i know plenty of college students who work full time (in fact, one of my friends has TWO jobs.) You could also consider only going to college part time - take a few classes at a time, save some money that way and still have time to work.
I don't blame you for wanting to get your own place. I'm looking into that too because frankly, i can't live with my parents anymore even if i'm saving money by not having to pay rent. Even without the trans-issue we're butting heads left and right and it's just way too stressful (not to mention i likely won't ever be able to get serious about my transition while living with them because they, as of yet, have not said wether or not they support it - my thought is they will not).
If you plan on rooming with someone, then you would more than likely have to tell them that you are trans - living in close quarters almost guarantees that this sort of "secret" will not stay so for long. It's better to know someones feelings prior to signing a lease with them then having it spring up later on and have them be angry, upset, etc with the situation (not to mention you want to be COMFORTABLE in your own home, and hiding this sort of thing is not going to make that possible.)
As for your folks... if they aren't going to support you, then how you present to them or how often you visit them is YOUR call. Period. If they can't handle seeing you as "male" then you might want to cut ties until they CAN. That's what i'm going to have to do, since my parents aren't as open (though they did say they wouldn't totally kick me out or cut me off.) You shouldn't have to dress up for them or hide yourself.
Passing/College:
It totally depends on what you're comfortable with. Do you pass easily as a male? Are you comfortable with your name (either male/female, or is it andro?) Are you comfortable with your appearance/voice? Are you comfortable trying to do group or partner work as a male? If not, then you can always go totally andro - if you're uncomfortable then people will know and they may find it awkward. You may as well.
Personally, i don't care who knows. I go by "justin" all the time now (except at home) and last semester i emailed each of my profs prior to class to let them know - they used my male name from day one and i had NO problems (and i don't pass full time.) As for the whole "enrolled as female with female name"... so? Have the prof use your male name from day one, no one will know WHAT you are registered as - they don't display it. I've been passing as male in my classes for a full semester now.
I wouldn't worry about people "liking" you or not because of this. They either do or don't. There are plenty of people out there to be friends with. If they judge you because you're trans then they aren't good friends anyway and you probably wouldn't want to associate with people like that. You certainly don't have to tell anyone (it is your choice) but if you plan on transitioning while being friends with them.... they will have to be told because hey, you'll be going from female/andro to totally male. Not something they'll turn a blind eye to.
Wether you want to risk possible violence or teasing... again, your call. I just know i would rather go in as who i'm comfortable as (wether that be as female OR male, which for me is MALE) than hide who i am because a few people MIGHT not like it. It's certainly easier to start transitioning when people DON'T personally know you and when you'll be moving around a lot, as opposed to when you get a job some place and work with the same people and in the same area for years.
I guess you could also consider when you're planning to do name change and gender marker change. But it al boils down to you. People who you live with or are close to will almost have to know - no way around that. People you share classes with or see every so often, don't have to know.
