I'm quite sure god hates me...if there is a god.
My mother and two siblings and me are moving to a new house, a great thing, but we are in walking distance to my ex-stepfather. I hate him. I don't want to be around him. I have had dreams of freaking murdering him, for what he put me through. I feel so much guilt and i feel like i did something, when i KNOW i didn't. I hate him i hate him so much. I wish he would just drop dead.
I have nightmares and creepy dreams, and i can't freaking get rid of them. For the past few weeks, I've been on bloody cloud nine, I've been so happy, everything was going great. But now i find out i have to see his bloody face everyday? Every single day of my high school life? I don't see how my mother can trust that sonofab-tch with her other two children. Sure, it makes everyday life easier, for her, for me, the two little kids being with there father for 3-4 days a week, but we don't know what he could be doing to them. He as much as touches them and i swear I'll slit his throat. To tell the truth, I'm scared. I don't know why. I won't have to be around him by myself all too much. But I'm scared. I don't want anyone where i'm going to know. 'm turning my life around, i'm going to be a good student, no more drinking, no more anti-social, i'm going to be strong, and come out of my godforsaken hiding. But i don't think i can do that with him around. Everytime i find something to look forwar to, something good in life, its ruined, either by me unintentionally, or by other people. I fu**ing hate him,
