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Do I need to say anything to my new school?

Started by shanetastic, July 09, 2010, 01:05:40 PM

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shanetastic

So I'm going to start easing into fulltime here sometime soon probably sometime within the next 2 weeks but I still haven't told my school about anything that's happening.  Obviously besides some name and gender stuff (which I hopefully will have changed by the time school starts in late September) is there anything you think I should tell them ahead of time? 

And if so. . .  who exactly should I go to and talk to this about!?  I have a feeling it's probably a liberal school and getting a masters in social work I think the program will be the same as well.  I'm just uncertain whether or not I should tell anyone and what to say and when?  I just recently though of this so want to get some feedback is all.  Like if anyone has gone through something like this can you reiterate how your experience went and what you did?

Thhhhannkksss!!! :] I hope everyone is doing well.
trying to live life one day at a time
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Terra

I'm assuming you are talking about college level right?

Well when I did it I talked to the dean of students. I emphasized that I would be willing to try to follow any existing policies or work with them if there weren't any. The college LGBT group can also be a strong advocate to have in your corner so make sure to talk to them too. Instructors were informed on a need to know basis and most of them didn't know, the ones who did I had informed. For me that left the student body, but most people got used to me fairly quickly even with my 6'4 height.

Most likely there won't be a slew of policies in place and you might have to play it by ear. But if you approach the school with the intent to work with them, in my experience they will work with you back.  ;D
"If you quit before you try, you don't deserve to dream." -grandmother
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shanetastic

Hey Terra,

Yeah it's grad school so college level.  I start in late September so I will probably try to find someone at the school to talk about this with just to make sure it's a formality.  Hopefully I'll also be able to change documents by then >< I guess cramming stuff in always creates problems and I should have been more on top of this but oh well
trying to live life one day at a time
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Sarah B

Hi Shanetastic

Why say anything at all?  If you have your name changed and have enrolled under that name and gender.  What is there to say? Nobody else is going to come 'clean' about their private lives, so in a sense why should you?

I also went to university and I said nothing, but then again nobody knew anything and all my forms were filled in appropriately.

The only times I ever saying anything about my past are:

1. Relevant medical situation.

2. Intimate partner.

I would assume that the University or college that you will be attending has a privacy policy?  So the people that will handle your application will have to remain silent.

What you should ask yourself is am I a private person? and if so then just say nothing.  If not then it is up to you how much you say, but the least you say the better of in the long run it will be.

I wish you all the success in getting your masters.

Sarah B
Kind regards
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.
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Terra

Normally I would agree with Sarah but in my experience events happened that it turned out to be handy to have told the school, such as with restrooms and other things.

You don't have to tell your professors, in fact depending on the professor I would advise against it. But a lot of people wrongly or rightly consider ->-bleeped-<- against the 'rules'. Bathrooms for me was a major point of contention with arguments against me like 'the sound of me peeing would tip the other women off'. (No joke, that was what the vice president of the school told me.) At one point I was forced to use unisex bathrooms of which there were only 6 on the entire campus. That was fun times.  :P

If you know the rules, if there are any, then you would be better able to handle any difficulties. Trust me, getting blindsided by stuff is not fun, and as you probably know by now Shanetastic the college level is still pretty political. If anyone is to know what these rules and policies are it would be the dean of students as they handle student affairs the most. They also would know who to talk to to find out the rules if they don't know. If there simply isn't, as it was in my school, they might set up a meeting to discuss how to handle the situation. In my case I was able to state my case and as well my opinion on how certain things should be handled, some of which is now policy.

As for documents and what professors see on their roll call and such, talking to the registry is the route I would take. They might be able to keep your records 'legal' while giving the professor the information you would like them to see. I know they can do it for nicknames at my school, but I never tried for a full name for various reasons.

Anyways, just my 2 cents. :)
"If you quit before you try, you don't deserve to dream." -grandmother
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Alyssa M.

Make sure all your records are correct. At my school (transitioning during grad school) that includes the billing office, financial aid, my grant, payroll, the student ID service, the medical center, the recreation center, campus email, etc. -- ALL SEPARATELY!  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Get that done ASAP.

I'd consider getting in touch with whatever LGBT organization or organizations there are. They might be able to help. They can tell you what others have done -- and there are sure to be others.

Good luck, and congratulations in advance on going full-time. :)
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

   - Anatole France
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Northern Jane

I would agree that if you have "legally transitioned" (name and such) it is NOBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS so say nothing - just get on with your new life.

I started college in 1969, before there was any form of 'transition' or SRS but I knew that if I survived more than a few years, I would HAVE to transition and I didn't want my college records to be a stumbling block so I met with the Registrar rather than just mailing in my application and I explained the situation. He was incredibly understanding! I was registered by my initials and family name, gender was left blank, and rather than file my high school papers, he just made a note that they had been verified. As a result, my college transcript is gender-less long before the days when records could legally be changed.

If you have your name change, you should simply go 'regular everyday girl' and get on with normal life!
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blackMamba

shanetastic,

If you have attended this school before and the instructors know you (as before), then I think it would be helpful for you to introduce yourself to them and briefly say that you are transitioning and this is how it's going to be from now on.  At least to the teachers who know you beyond the attendance sheet.

But...if this is a brand new school and a brand new grad program, you are in an enviable position to start afresh.  This is what I did with my job.  After I went full-time I switched jobs and never told anyone about my past.  A clean break.  If you want to disclose to certain people, choose wisely is all I will say.  I was very tempted to open my big mouth and I'm glad I didn't.  There is all sorts of ignorance in the world regarding "us-types".

My advice, keep your mouth shut and welcome to a new world of opportunity.  Best of luck to you!

bMamba
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