Not disclosing isn't lying. Right?

[emil]

about highschool: none of these kids really deeply care about you. they're just people thrown together you'll most likely never meet again. true friends will stand by you even if you hadn't told them the truth and they find out later.
there is no reason to tell people who don't care about you and your life what they would like to know out of sensationalist curiosity. Because really, what's the difference? a bio-guy is treated and regarded as a guy. in an ideal world, so is a trans guy. the only thing disclosing will ever do for you is making your life harder.
Saying "deceit is lying and lying is evil" is a very Christian view on the situation. The truth will make a lot of people see you as something you're not - how is that fair? going to school as a boy, most people won't even know you. Going to school as a transguy, everyone will know you - as the transguy. I adore your bravery for deciding to be openly trans at school and i hope it will all be for the best! for i sure as hell would have used the new school as the basis for a fresh start.

the excuses that murderers give for their hate crimes should not be a basis for your decisions. by that reasoning, no woman would be allowed to wear a mini skirt or lipstick. no little girl would be allowed to be outside on her own and there'd be no immigrants....well you get the picture.

your brother should support you on your difficult journey. at least he shouldn't be the one making it even harder.

[Vancha]

I don't think it's "deceiving" if someone asks and you deny it.  Why the hell are they asking, anyway?  That's a very intimate detail of someone's life.  I don't think they have any more right to know than anyone else, unless they're going to be in your bed.

[kyril]

I don't think it's "deceiving" if someone asks and you deny it.  Why the hell are they asking, anyway?  That's a very intimate detail of someone's life.  I don't think they have any more right to know than anyone else, unless they're going to be in your bed.

It is a deception. That's a separate question from whether or not it's justified. To take a well-publicized and controversial example, I think Bill Clinton was entirely justified in denying all accusations of sexual infidelity - I think it's none of anyone's business, and nobody should have been asking - but just from a factual perspective, he did lie.

[cynthialee]

Getting pissed off and refusing to answer said question is not a deception.
Just because someone asks for a piece of information does not entitle them to said information. So many people seem like they feel obligated to answer every question possed of them.

[kyril]

Yes. But there's a difference between responding "That's none of your business, go f yourself" and responding "no." V was asserting that it's not deception "if someone asks and you deny it."

[emil]

that's a matter of perspective, really. as i remember, the question was "did you have sex with?" which he denied. the truth behind it was a cock in someone's mouth, which by a lot of people's definition is not sex because they set sex=vaginal penetration.

if someone asks a transman if he's a guy, then that's a "yes or no" question. if someone asks a trans guy whether he is trans, then that may be a different matter. but high school must have changed a whole lot if kids these days run around asking "hey are you a boy or a girl or trans or a crossdresser or genderqueer or..."

[kyril]

If someone asks a trans guy if he's a guy, the truthful answer is "yes." It's not deception until you're point-blank asked if you're trans and you say "no." But at that point, yes, it is (potentially justifiable) deception.

[ToniAndrea]

You are what you feel you are.
   Only my family and some close friends from way back when? know my birth gender, Every one else sees me as female and I am not going to contradict in any way. I also believe that when recognized legally there is no doubt about your gender.
    Lying by omission does not apply in this case.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I don't think it's lying. I am a man. It's a birth defect. I'm not lying. End of story. It's none of their business. If they think I've decieved them (which I've had a few people say when they found out...but their general reaction was "you're really a ____?") then I'm not gonna bother having them as a friend. I can't stand people who respond as I said above. I'm not really anything. I'm a dude. That's that. People do get attacked over this sort of thing and I'm not about to basically say "hey, victimize me"