Would you date a theist?

[Annabella]

Sapiosexuals have that problem

[Xenguy]

EDIT: Google helped, but yeah I totally would! I've no prob with theists, my girlfriend is a Catholic Christian & my boyfriend is an Athiest.

Also, I don't really see the point in saying "I could never date a ______" Because there are so many aspects to a person other than their beliefs, I personally would date anyone from any religion or without one, because I would focus on what I do like about them. As long as none of us are shoving anything anywhere, I'm not sure where the problem is. There are many awesome theists :/

[ThatCatGuy]

When my girlfriend and I started to date, she was a theist. She has since lost her faith. So, dated a theist for a while. I would be ok if she went back to her faith as well (as long as she is happy).

[Hikari]

THIS.

And that brings it back to specifics. What exactly do they believe? That's why I mentioned as an example, that belief in Heaven and/or Hell, particularly Hell, would be a deal-killer for me. But just believing in some sort of deity alone would not necessarily be a deal-killer. Unfortunately, a LOT of theists in the U.S. would be disqualified for me. And frankly, if they just seem really irrational, that would just not be an attractive trait. For instance, if they were really into ghosts, psychic phenomena, magic, and I don't mean the fantasy versions. I mean if they really believe in all that stuph and were really into it, then I would have a hard time being attracted to that person because that seems quite irrational to me and that's just not sexy at all. I have to be attracted to a person's body and mind.

I have this one friend who has stated on a few occasions he wants to be a Christian minister, and he tells me I am going to heaven. His logic being that god simply wouldn't punish those who are "good" merely out of their ignorance of Gods existence. He neatly folds Muslims, Wiccians, etc into that logic as well.

What would you think about someone like that, who believed in Hell, but believed that you were going to be together in Heaven in the end?

Also, yeah, people who really believe in ghosts and urban legends, etc are kinda crazy to me, I could never date someone like that. I mean I think religion is just as crazy, but lots of money, adverts, validation, etc is available for that, so I treat that differently.

[alabamagirl]

I know I wasn't the one asked, but I really don't like the idea of Heaven and Hell, regardless of which one someone thinks I'm going to. They both kind of sound like eternal prison sentences to me. It's just like, "which prison would you like to go to?"

Am I the only one who doesn't see the appeal?

[Jess42]

I know I wasn't the one asked, but I really don't like the idea of Heaven and Hell, regardless of which one someone thinks I'm going to. They both kind of sound like eternal prison sentences to me. It's just like, "which prison would you like to go to?"

Am I the only one who doesn't see the appeal?

I don't believe in the basic common discriptions or concepts of heaven and or hell. I believe more in that they are states of being or right now with a human body states of mind. Heaven being happy blissfulness and hell being miserable torment. On a daily basis we go through both many times. We can also be in heaven one minute, something happen and be in hell the next.

What happens after we die, I haven't a clue. There are things I would like to believe but can't be proven. And maybe nothing after the six or so minutes it takes for the brain to die after the body if there is no head severe head trama at the time of death. Those six minutes maybe our eternity. Our state of mind at the time of death may decide whether that eternity that is six or so minutes decides Heaven or Hell.

I personally would like to think our consciousness survives after the death of the body and brain and it is no longer in bondage to both. And then the choice to enter the tunnel of light or stay behind. But not trapped here as a disembodied spirit stuck for some reason. But nothing can be proven util that day we all have to face eventually.

[Hikari]

I know I wasn't the one asked, but I really don't like the idea of Heaven and Hell, regardless of which one someone thinks I'm going to. They both kind of sound like eternal prison sentences to me. It's just like, "which prison would you like to go to?"

Am I the only one who doesn't see the appeal?

I am no fan of the concept either, but if someone thinks you are going to heaven (presumably with them) then they won't bug you much (my friend doesn't at least). If they think you are going to Hell, and care about you though, they might be much more in your face about getting you "saved". So, from a practical standpoint, it is easier if people think you are going to heaven.

I think anyone could see though, that neither heaven nor hell would hold any sort of enjoyment, at least based on Christian theology. Reincarnation seems much more interesting as an afterlife.

[Eevee]

I'd date a theist, but it really depends on how they handle it. I'm agnostic, so I'm open to possibilities. I just don't want a religion forced on me because I never want to subscribe to one major belief again. I am tolerant of those who give me the same tolerance.

[dalebert]

What would you think about someone like that, who believed in Hell, but believed that you were going to be together in Heaven in the end?

Already answered. It's not about just me. Just the thought that anyone is going to Hell is a kind of sadism that I can't get on board with. I don't even believe in the idea of punishment here in this life; much less one that serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever and lasts ALL ETERNITY. There are only a few options that come to mind for dealing with truly dangerous people. First one is rehabilitation and overwhelming evidence seems to demonstrate that punishment doesn't work well for that. If anything, it makes people worse. Second is keeping them away from innocents so they can't hurt anyone again. That would ideally be done only in desperate situations because the idea of locking a human being up like an animal is barbaric, AND it would be done humanely, i.e. not with the idea of making them suffer but actually allowing them to live as fulfilling life as possible but with their freedoms restricted in order to keep people safe. Thirdly, and in the most absolutely desperate situation, like someone is about to severely hurt an innocent person and it's the only way, then you kill them as an act of defense. You do it as quickly and painlessly as possible. It should never be about wanting someone to suffer. It should be to end suffering and harm to innocents. Vengeance is an irrational and animalistic motivation. If there's somehow a supreme being, I can't possibly wrap my head around it being as petty as humans manage to be.

Am I the only one who doesn't see the appeal?

No. Reminds me of what Bart Simpson said about Hell. "Wouldn't you just get used to it after a while, kind of like when a bath has really hot water?" The same applies to Heaven. Good and evil, pleasure and pain... these things are meaningless one without the other. It's like a painting of all white or all black. Either one is empty and meaningless.

[Missy~rmdlm]

Of course I'm an atheist and I'm dating a Catholic lady. If you don't believe, you don't believe, so why would I care if she's Catholic? It's more about her ability to deal with me without saying I'm going to hell all the time which would really be quite unproductive. Again I would also think that is delving into hypocrisy all things considered.

[Jaz650]

Depends on why they believe there is a god. But I also find the whole "I'm not religious, but spiritual" thing on the same level as religious theists.

Post Merge: July 18, 2010, 05:10:52 PM
My mother is pretty religious, devout Roman Catholic (ew). When I told her I didn't believe, she goes "well god believes in you". Pretty disrespectful. She wants me to listen to her point of view, but refuses to listen to mine and she thinks that's okay.

For now your mom should respect your beliefs. She should pray for you silently in heart. If one day you are called to the Church, it will be, because it was meant to be. God is patient!

[Maleth]

I am tolerant of those who give me the same tolerance.

For me it just all boils down to this. If they're theistic, that's their thing but as long as they don't force their beliefs upon me we won't have a problem. I don't think religion is a good thing to discuss anyways most of the time since it seems to be such a hot topic and some people out there have strong opinions. Oh well.. It is what it is. ^^

[ReubenIsTheName]

Just the thought that anyone is going to Hell is a kind of sadism that I can't get on board with. I don't even believe in the idea of punishment here in this life; much less one that serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever and lasts ALL ETERNITY.

It should never be about wanting someone to suffer. It should be to end suffering and harm to innocents. Vengeance is an irrational and animalistic motivation. If there's somehow a supreme being, I can't possibly wrap my head around it being as petty as humans manage to be.

I couldn't agree more with this. If there's an afterlife,...you're dead, shouldn't you be at peace?  It's not like you can undo something that would 'send you to Hell,' even if you DID regret it.

That reminds me of a quote by Richard Dawkins.  I can't quite remember the exact words, but it's something to to degree of how childish, selfish, and murderous that the god of the bible appears to be.

No. Reminds me of what Bart Simpson said about Hell. "Wouldn't you just get used to it after a while, kind of like when a bath has really hot water?" The same applies to Heaven. Good and evil, pleasure and pain... these things are meaningless one without the other. It's like a painting of all white or all black. Either one is empty and meaningless.

I've never quite thought of Heaven that way, but I've considered that quote about Hell before.  I suppose that, without anything negative in Heaven, there can't be anything to base what it "positive" off of it.  You don't know you're happy, because you don't know unhappiness.  And the barbaric punishment of Hell means my previous statement's idea, but vice versa.  You suffer forever, so long that you know nothing but suffering.  And who deserves to never be happy again because they did something that some old guys who wrote a book of stories, or an imaginary man in the sky deems to be 'wrong?'

[whatismylife]

no i would not date a theist.  i can ignore it and tolerate it in friends tho.  but date? never.

[dalebert]

I haven't watched this yet so I have no opinion on what they say in it yet but it seems relevant to the topic.

[jakken]

No, I wouldn't. I am very non-religious and I could never imagine myself being close to a very religious person.

[Tossu-sama]

I think I wouldn't date a theist. I'm an atheist to the core and I personally consider all sorts of sayings like "bless you" and whatnot else to be kind of insulting, especially if the person knows of me being atheist.

That being said, I actually have couple friends who are part of the Finnish pentecostals. They're great people and I'm actually able to have sensible discussions with them and they respect my view of life.

[dalebert]

The Religious Society of Friends (more commonly referred to as Quakers, a term they've largely embraced even though it started as something of an insult) are also generally very cool about atheists, at least the New England area ones. Atheists are welcomed and their thoughts and opinions are given the same respect as anyone else's. Of course I could date most Quakers and most vaguely "spiritual" people as long as their beliefs aren't too dogmatically contrary to objective reality.

[Violet Bloom]

No.  It wouldn't work.

  In my case I avoid any sort of label.  There's probably some term that applies to me but I don't even want that and I don't want to be pressed by anyone to talk about it - I just want to exist.  I simply see the world around me as it is and treat people the way I want to be treated.  It's weird how much more this makes me feel like an outsider than anything else about me.  This all definitely shrinks the dating pool for me to 'a few drops' but I remain optimistic.

[JulieBlair]

My, such strong feelings.  It has been mentioned many times here but there is for me a huge difference between religious belief and evangelical proselytizing.  Neither is benign, but the latter is highly objectionable to me. Belief in magic kills children by withholding medical care, refusing vaccinations, assuming that infinitely diluted pharmaceuticals are effective except as placebo, and is dangerous and wrong headed.  But unless I am willing to engage, those fallacies may go unchallenged.

I will however, share an evening with a believer and even compare thoughts as long as it doesn't stray too far into woo.  Where the line is drawn for me is at the level of behavior.  If you insist that there is an absolute spiritual truth, and that you or anyone else has a monopoly on it then I wish you peace and a good evening.  Or if you insist that unscientific medicine is better for your children than basic health care we also part ways, and I may start making phone calls.

But if you are a seeker and have wit and humour, then let's have dinner.  I feel the same way about hard core skeptics and atheists.  Yes critical thinking, rational argument and the scientific method are good, but lighten up and smell the coffee.  Even the foolish have their place in the sun, or however that saying goes.

I am a trans-woman.  I expect to be treated with courtesy and respect even by those who think I am delusional.  I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.  But if I expect people who do not understand gender dysphoria to be civil and accepting then I have to be at least as accommodating.  Yeah I know that isn't dating, but for me dating always flows from conversation and I hope I am willing to talk to pretty much anyone.

Peace.
Julie