Changing your new name

[Tammy Hope]

Before it's legally changed, i mean.

I'm not sure i want to add to the "drama" that people already se in my transition but more and more I'm tempted to a different name than Laura

It's one that was my favorite from the start but was the nickname of a cousin of mine so i hesitated. now i find I'm having a very hard time learning to sign Laura in a natural way, and the other name - Tammy - is much easier.

do any of you have any experience with doing that?

thoughts?

[Nero]

You haven't legally changed it to Laura yet? Then try another one. Find one that suits. People will get over it. You're the one that's going to be signing it and introducing yourself with it every day. It should be one you're sure about. 

[Tammy Hope]

Well yeah, it's not really family i'm thinking about - the only one's who's opinion matters at all is my wife and she doesn't want it changed at all so that's not going to fly.

what I was thinking of is all the people "out in the world" that I've used Laura with that might find it kind of superficial to see it changed again.

I know that's sort of majoring on the minors but that's why I'm asking for feedback.

it's definitely appreciated.

[Nero]

Hmm. Well, how long have you been using Laura to everyone?

[quincymaureen]

You should definitely go with whatever name you like best, because its not about others. Ultimately its about you. I have changed my named from Kaeli-Shea (which is super girly) to Quincy. Because I like the name quincy. I haven't gotten around to changing my middle name yet,,, its still maureen. But its been changed legally and it made me feel so much better. You should be happy too, pick whichever name you want
quincy

[April Dawne]

How about changing your name legally to Tammy (or whatever you end up choosing), but keeping Laura as a sort of pen-name that is used more or less to maintain the "presence" you've established with it? Many authors and actors etc use assumed names professionally for various reasons. =]

Just a thought!

~April

[Tammy Hope]

Hmm. Well, how long have you been using Laura to everyone?

about eight months

[rejennyrated]

Then have both.

Use Tammy as the first, and Laura as your second. That way no one needs to feel put out and you can have the best of both worlds.

[Tammy Hope]

that's a thought, but it would mean giving up Elizabeth...*sigh*...but few know about that one.

I'll have to mull that some, there's might be something to that.

[rejennyrated]

that's a thought, but it would mean giving up Elizabeth...*sigh*...but few know about that one.

I'll have to mull that some, there's might be something to that.

Well I have three names Jenny Patricia Harriet (Genuinely all my parents fault too)

[Shang]

You can have three names, it's not against the rules.  You could also use one as a "nickname".

[Sinnyo]

I was born with three myself, excluding the surname. My bank had to give up and just give me the one middle name on my statements - not that I use either one of those arbitrary names!

[Jeatyn]

I went through about 5 different names before I settled on one. I've legally changed my name twice (first time simply because I always hated my birth name, it was still girly though)

In the end, it's your name. It can be Princess Consuela Bananahammock if that's what tickles your fancy. You have to hear it everyday and see it on all your mail, not anyone else.

[Zack]

Love the Friends reference Jeatyn

As for names, I've legally changed mine just once, to Addison obviously. I just needed to get away from my birth name as quick as possible.
But when I come out to parents etc, I'm going to change it to a male name that fits with the year I was born, so I will have legally changed it twice by the end of this year.
At the end of the day it's up to you, so go for it if you want to change it

[Vanessa_yhvh]

Others have given some pretty sound advice so far regarding the name changing bit. My comment is about signing.

I fretted a fair little bit over having a feminine signature (a seeming impossibility for me, as even a masculine signature for me has tended to be laborious and ugly) until one day I saw a GG friend sign her name on a credit card receipt.

It was a simple, illegible scrawl! Just sort of a wiggly line not resembling so much as a character in any language with which I am familiar.

I prodded her about it, and her basic attitude was along the lines of screw signatures!

My soul has been free since that day.

[Kay]

Hi Laura/Tammy,
.
I'm actually going through that now too. I've been Kay on forums for years, and all of my friends that know me IRL know me by that name too.  (It's actually my first initial, which made it a simple default.)  I'll be changing that probably within the next month.  Still unofficial until I come out at work, but I'm sure it will take my friends some getting used to.  Just as many have trouble changing pronouns, it'll take them time to remember the new name first instead of the old. 
.
In the end, it's your name, and you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life.  Make it something that you like, and that you're comfortable with. As long as you're happy with the name, the small bit of adjustment your friends will go through shouldn't be seen as an imposition...and if they're really friends, they'll understand that change is often a necessary part of growth and discovery of who you are.  (8 months isn't so long a time that things have been set in stone.)
.
I've been mullling my name change over for the past 2 months, and will probably give it a couple more weeks just to make sure it really is what I want.  (Just to make sure it's not just a flash in the pan.  I understand about not wanting to be seen as changing names on a whim again and again.)  Give it a little time and see how it settles.  I'm not sure how long you've felt this way, but if you still feel this way in a month, I'd say go for it.
.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.
.
Kay

[Byren]

No worries, just go with what feels natural! Try it out someplace where folks don't really know you...like a fast food place where they ask for your name to call out your order. *grin*

I haven't legally changed mine yet because of work, but I fully intend to as soon as it's plausible.

Personally I've gone through several different names, trying them out for a few months to see how they really feel, or if there are any...er...nasty words that they could accidentally be mistaken for. ^_^;

A few months ago I'd decided to go with the name Kael, because it was both simple and unusual. (I hate having a generic name...always wanted something a bit uncommon!) However, after trying it out on a few folks, I discovered it sounds an awful lot like Kay or Gayle, and I reeeeally don't like that. (no offense to anyone with those names....it's just the feminine quality I don't like)

So...now I go by Byren. It's still simple, but the spelling is uncommon, and it doesn't hurt that it makes people think of Lord Byron. Mwahahaha! Probably keep Kael as a middle name, though...I'm still fond of it.

[kyril]

OMG. Kael is my name (or rather, the base part of my name, by which everyone refers to me) in the online game I play. And the RL friends who have come out of the game call me Kael. I'd gotten so used to it that I was considering having it be part of my chosen name...but then decided against it (for the same reason as you, plus it's just a bit too unusual, especially for my conservatively-named age cohort). But I love the name.

I'm still a little bit irritated that there just doesn't seem to be a classic, nice-sounding, recognizably male K-name that I like enough to have permanently. I've always been a K-name online whenever I've gotten to pick (kaos, kyril, kael, kestrel, etc) but can't find a real name in that pattern that suits my age and background.

[Sarah B]

Me and my brothers all had 3 names and when I legally changed my name, I followed 'tradition' and took on 3 names, my third name is hardly ever used, except on legal documents..  I did change my last name, but in hindsight I should have kept it, but that is another story.  So having 3 is or will not be a problem.

AprilDawn, suggested keeping Laura as an online name and keeping your chosen legal names for the real world.

As every one else seems to mention, the final decision lies with you.  You have to be happy people saying and of course you have to love or like it yourself.

Best wishes in deciding!!!

Kind regards
Sarah B

[michelle]

I feel lucky, my given name is Michael.   I have even seen this spelling listed as a female name.  I use the name Michelle here and l like it but I have started playing around with the spelling:  Myshelle, Mishelle, Myschele, etc.   Maybe I will start using them as alias when asked and the change will just happen.