Social Anxiety

[Farm Boy]

I've always had pretty bad social anxiety.  Giving speeches, going to the store alone, social gatherings like dances or parties, work settings, etc.  Pretty much any time I'm forced to be around or to interact with others I am extremely uncomfortable, to the point of feeling sick and having to literally run away/remove myself from it.  If I know beforehand that I'm going to have to do something like this I get irrationally afraid (I've never had a bad experience or anything that caused this) and will fight against it.  Basically, it really gets in the way of my life and makes things really difficult at times.

I wondered if anybody else here had experienced anything similar?  I've heard people say that pre-transition they had social anxiety that disappeared after they transitioned, and that they felt calmer in general.  Just wondering if my anxiety is trans/GD related, since I honestly couldn't tell you why it bothers me so much.  I just know that it really, really does.

[Lachlann]

I have anxiety in general, but I think for the social aspect of it, I just didn't like being put in dresses or being seen as a girl.

Since being on T, my anxiety has dropped and socializing is a lot easier.

[noxdraconis]

I had something VERY similar to what you are experiencing, just add in the feeling fear when using the telephone as well.  A lot of it was trans related.  And while getting on T did not solve everything, I am a hell of a lot better now with human interactions than I was before.  I still get a bit nervous, but not the overwhelming, panic-attack-inducing kind of nervousness.

[Farm Boy]

I had something VERY similar to what you are experiencing, just add in the feeling fear when using the telephone as well.

Oh gosh, yes!  Making telephone calls is just about as frightening as going out in public.  I would love to be able to get my anxiety down to regular nervousness, because all out panic-attacks suck.

[Jillary Woolen Xσx]

I've always had pretty bad social anxiety.  Giving speeches, going to the store alone, social gatherings like dances or parties, work settings, etc.  Pretty much any time I'm forced to be around or to interact with others I am extremely uncomfortable, to the point of feeling sick and having to literally run away/remove myself from it.  If I know beforehand that I'm going to have to do something like this I get irrationally afraid (I've never had a bad experience or anything that caused this) and will fight against it.  Basically, it really gets in the way of my life and makes things really difficult at times.

I wondered if anybody else here had experienced anything similar?  I've heard people say that pre-transition they had social anxiety that disappeared after they transitioned, and that they felt calmer in general.  Just wondering if my anxiety is trans/GD related, since I honestly couldn't tell you why it bothers me so much.  I just know that it really, really does.

I know This is in FTM
but I've Always had very terrible social anxieties very similar to what you experience.
I never gave speeches in high school cause i was absolutely terrified and would've rather received a bad grade.
Hell I would've rather Killed Myself than do anything requiring being publicly surrounded by people.
Grocery Stores Were bad for me. alone or with people It was super unbearable.

I Can definitely say that as I've transitioned, things have gotten much easier.... it's been a slow long issue to overcome
but hey, so is transitioning

Also I think as you mature and get older, be you FTM, MTF, or Natal, it's natural to slowly grow out of those insecurities

Just Keep you're Head up and force yourself into social situations to fight it
Good Luck Warrior

[kyril]

I've been terrified of telephones since I was a kid. I mean literally, paralyzingly phobic, for no good reason, to the point of really bad things happening because I can't make calls that need to be made.

I'm less bad in person, oddly, but still bad enough to be diagnosed with social anxiety.

[Nathan.]

I have social anxiety, it's a little better these days in person but I still have a huge problem with using phone.

I'm trying my best to beat it but putting myself in social situations and i'm hoping a getting a job will help.

[sneakersjay]

Yes. All my life until I started T and began being read as male (as ME).  Much improvement in the social anxiety department!!

Jay

[Shang]

I have social anxiety disorder and it's bad enough to warrant meds.  I'm terrified of doing most things in public.  It's gotten a little better with the meds, I'm answering in class more and I'm not freaking out in class.  However, before I give presentations or if I have to speak (even with 'friends') I feel sick to my stomach and am prone to being in the bathroom many many times.  But if I'm with my "safe people", I'm generally fine.  However, now that I live alone and know no one, I no longer have "safe people".

I haven't really started to transition and I'm kind of scared to because I know I'll have even more to overcome like "are they staring at me?" "do they know?".  Pretty much any thought I've had now.

[Jeatyn]

I have social anxiety disorder. I can get panic attacks if it gets really bad. I've spent entire college classes hiding in the loo shaking and crying

I HATE using the phone with a passion. Just the phone ringing makes me feel sick sometimes

[Nathan.]

I've spent entire college classes hiding in the loo shaking and crying

Same here, had to stop going to college in the end as it was just getting worse and worse. Now I do a part time course which is so much easier to deal with.

[Clay]

yeah, i had the same problems. i got the most terrible grades because of that
most of it got better, since i started working in retail. actually i'm pretty relaxed now around people, but i still can't do speeches at uni without going into panic-mode.

[Jeatyn]

I've had to drop out of college twice my grades were actually fine, I would have easily passed both courses but satisfactory attendance is mandatory

[KaciKip]

Oh, social anxiety. It's something I know all too well. ._.; I mean, I have generalized anxiety, but I do definitely suffer from the social aspect of it. Mine borders on paranoia. Before I was put on anti-psychotics, I would get so anxious/paranoid that I'd start having all sorts of crazy audio hallucinations which would trigger me into having a panic attack. It's scary stuff. :<

I honestly have no idea if mine is trans related as I'm no where near being able to start transition. But I'll say that after years of therapy, and years of fiddling with various medications, that it has gotten a lot better. It also helps to just start small, rather than jump into deep water right away. Like, don't throw yourself into a group of people right away. Just maybe hang around one or two close friends, and slowly branch out. Taking it slowly has helped me a lot.

[Elijah3291]

yea you are not alone.. while I have not been officially diagnosed with social anxiety.. but my roommate has it and all of his symptoms are the same as mine..

for example when Im walking somewhere public and Im alone.. I find it hard to make eye contact, and when people walk past me I get really nervous and anxious, and I hate walking past huge groups of people, and if i hear people laughing I assume they are laughing at me.

[jmaxley]

I have social anxiety.  It has gotten better as I've gotten older.  Though I do also have the phone-phobia really really bad.  I've had to drop out of college twice because of social anxiety/depression issues.  It makes keeping (or getting) a job pretty difficult.  And my social skills suck big time, I feel like some sort of alien trying to figure out how to interact with humans.  I'm hoping T will help lessen some of the emotional impact of it.

[Nathan.]

I feel like some sort of alien trying to figure out how to interact with humans.

I feel the same. My social skills suck thanks to my social anxiety. It's cost me so much, i'm 19 with no qualifications, no work experience and no real friends. 

[DaddySplicer]

Same. I lost panic attacks after having started T, but I still have a definite physical anxiety toward social situations. I know exactly what the sickness feels like, you get too hot and it feels like your gut's committing hara-kiri. I've just learned to enjoy being alone.
Post Merge: July 20, 2010, 03:41:59 PM

for example when Im walking somewhere public and Im alone.. I find it hard to make eye contact, and when people walk past me I get really nervous and anxious, and I hate walking past huge groups of people, and if i hear people laughing I assume they are laughing at me.

DUDE. SAME. Ahahaha, I thought I was the only dork with this issue! I will literally go out of my way and walk down a different path on the street if it means I can avoid a large group of people.

[Clay]

Same. I lost panic attacks after having started T, but I still have a definite physical anxiety toward social situations. I know exactly what the sickness feels like, you get too hot and it feels like your gut's committing hara-kiri. I've just learned to enjoy being alone.
Post Merge: July 20, 2010, 03:41:59 PM
DUDE. SAME. Ahahaha, I thought I was the only dork with this issue! I will literally go out of my way and walk down a different path on the street if it means I can avoid a large group of people.

had that too. by times using public transport was my worst nightmare but somehow it eased as i grew older, and i learned that most people simply don't care....
and also i seem to be a rather pleasant type (dude, how did that happen^^), i never was good in socialising with people, but somehow everyone at work seems to love me on first sight regardless me being grumpy and sarcastic.

[Farm Boy]

Thanks everyone, it's good to hear that I'm not alone in this.  It gives me some hope to think that I may have found its cause. 

for example when Im walking somewhere public and Im alone.. I find it hard to make eye contact, and when people walk past me I get really nervous and anxious, and I hate walking past huge groups of people, and if i hear people laughing I assume they are laughing at me.

ME.  TOO.  I will also go out of my way to avoid going through a group of people.  I've not been officially diagnosed either, and my mom doesn't seem to think it's a big problem.  I also suspect that she may believe that I'm just making it all up.  Basically, that because it's an irrational fear, it's not real fear.  She thinks it's something I can just get over by putting myself in social situations.  Unfortunately, I've been trying that plan for 20 years now, and it's not gotten any better...