Ever Mistaken for a pre-op??

[Jessica.C]

OK this is just another one of my concerns. Has any of you ever met a man who thought you were a pre-op only to find out you weren't. If so what happened.

I mean that would be just my luck!    LOL

[Kristyn]

OK, seriously!  I really don't think you have too much to worry about in that regard.  You look better than most natal females!   

[Jessica.C]

OK, seriously!  I really don't think you have too much to worry about in that regard.  You look better than most natal females!   

OMG.. LOL.. Thanks Kristyn EXTREAMLY FLATTERED   Seriously though Ive met guys that just knew my status for whatever reason. So i figure if Ive met ones like that its bound to happen in the future. I mean I'm sure they wouldn't say no.. that a deal breaker. But just curious what other may have experienced

[Shang]

OMG.. LOL.. Thanks Kristyn EXTREAMLY FLATTERED   Seriously though Ive met guys that just knew my status for whatever reason. So i figure if Ive met one like that its bound to happen in the future. I mean I'm sure they wouldn't say no.. that a deal breaker. But just curious what other may have experienced

They have to have some strange radar then because I'd never pick it up and I know. oO 

[Jessica.C]

They have to have some strange radar then because I'd never pick it up and I know. oO

LOL Thanks Guys if nothing else, This is helping my self esteem

[Autumn]

I've had several doctors confuse me for a FTM when I tell them I'm transsexual. Is that kind of the same thing? :V

[Kristyn]

Uh-ohhhhhh.  Looks like Jess is having her 15 minutes.   

[Jessica.C]

Uh-ohhhhhh.  Looks like Jess is having her 15 minutes.   

LOL  Hey is that all i get 15 min's. But seriously I'm sure this has happen to some girl at some point. Maybe it was a dumb topic but i can tell you all kinds of thing go through my head as i approach my date, I'm sure you all can relate.

[rejennyrated]

Short answer yes. But only after I have outed myself.

If you tell someone that you are trans they have no way of knowing, unless you are naked, what surgery you have had. In my experience most men will seem to assume that you are pre, and most women will tend assume you are post.

Hence if I do decide to level with someone about having a trans past I always make sure that I preface my remarks by saying something like "Of course I have had all the full surgery a long time ago..."

You may or may not recall that a few weeks ago someone on here took me to task for the fact that my profile pic states that I am longterm postop, but that is precisely why it does. Because if you don't tell someone they really have no reasonable way of telling what stage you are at, and as it would be rude to ask most people will just assume something. In my experience about 50% of the time they will jump to the wrong conclusion.

Bottom line. Unless you want to live in paranoid stealth all your life get used to being fairly up-front with the facts. That way you can avoid any embarrassment.

[lpfix2009]

I never had someone ask me that till I actually outed that I have one, otherwise, people just assume im 100% natal female.

However one of my friends got asked that question and she passes real good, but the guy was really into transsexuals and something on her gave it away!

As much as one facially might passm one might not always pass with body language or physically how their body looks!

In your case Jessica, ahem, we won't talk about what I saw but what I to me was like 99.1% female the 9% is what's getting resolved in 3 months or so for you

I know I pass really well because I get hot guys hitting on me all the time from clubs to just walking through the mall. I live in a pretty "Small minded" town.

[Jessica.C]

However one of my friends got asked that question and she passes real good, but the guy was really into transsexuals and something on her gave it away!

As much as one facially might passm one might not always pass with body language or physically how their body looks!

That's true as i think it was Giselle mentioned in another topic something like that., I could be me, my own insecurities etc... putting it out there on a subconscious level. Hopefully that well change with the change

In your case Jessica, ahem, we won't talk about what I saw but what I to me was like 99.1% female the 9% is what's getting resolved in 3 months or so for you

Thanks Sara That's sweet of you to say and i should focus on that. I can't wait for that 9%

Oh and thanks Jenny, very insightful

[missyzanta]

Well it depends on how passable you were prior to.  SRS doesnt change your appearance.  I am mistaken everyday of my life for a pre.  Most people think SRS is something that is on another planet.  In America people only think Man or Woman.  A guy told me last night that he had always had a crush on me for the past 10 yrs but he hadnt had the courage to confront me because he thought I might be a man.  So i looked at him strangely and said "WHAT" how insulting.  So I grabbed his hand and stuck it between my legs and said "do you feel anything" and he started smiling and then I got out of the car and stormed away.  He followed me apologizing and said he just wanted to be sure and I said "IF I look like a MAN to you then it shouldnt matter WHAT I had, you shouldnt be attracted to me either way".  My point being is that that word MAN just gets me firey mad.  If Mike Tyson had a vagina and STILLL looked like he does now, no straight MAN should be able to get an erection.  So if I look like that, then you shouldnt be able to do it or even be attracted to me.  I am 6ft and that is what makes people look at me.  What attracts men TO me is also what makes them suspicious.  I am considered the most beautiful woman to most they have eva seen but having keen features and height makes people wonder becuase a 6ft woman is rare. Do they exist, HELL YES but do you see them often besides on TV naw.  So anything out of the norm is deemed as strange. So all in all, my height is a blessing and a curse. 

[stealth2010]

If perceived as trans, the assumption is that you'd be pre-op as the vast majority of transsexuals are pre-op.

[Kristyn]

If perceived as trans, the assumption is that you'd be pre-op as the vast majority of transsexuals are pre-op.

Which makes complete sense.  How can one discern the difference without actually seeing the product so to speak.

[LynnER]

LoL, I've had the opposite happen.

A friend had the hots for me, claimed to have slept with me (it didn't happen) and to save himself embarrassment and I guess make my life easier, he told everyone that I was post op and the rumor grew and grew. Also I have no problem with wearing a 2 piece. SO, the majority of people(locally) that know I'm TS assume I'm post op now.

[Steph]

LoL, I've had the opposite happen.

A friend had the hots for me, claimed to have slept with me (it didn't happen) and to save himself embarrassment and I guess make my life easier, he told everyone that I was post op and the rumor grew and grew. Also I have no problem with wearing a 2 piece. SO, the majority of people(locally) that know I'm TS assume I'm post op now.

Sneaky Devil

-={LR}=-

[Alyssa M.]

Yeah, most people are really ignorant, and among those that "perceive me as trans" (for example, everyone who knew me from before transition), I've certainly had some ask me "So ... you had the surgery, then?" Ummm .... awkward! No really -- I'm flattered -- you think I'm rich! 

People are very strange. I really don't think I pass all that well -- I certainly don't pass as well as I'd like to -- but at some point people just think "female," and I've had a few amusing questions as a result. I'm not always terribly femme, resulting at times in an androgynous appearance that probably leads to some people wondering "which direction" I'm going. I guess I'll take that as a compliment ...

[kimberrrly]

Most guys that love TS seem to want us pre-op and they do have a special radar I think.

Its understandable but not so fortunate for us girls. Even when you are pre op. It bothers me a lot. I love to be loved, but not in this way.

I have heard several stories of post op woman that dated guys who ended up dissapointed. I think it has very little to do with your looks. (or you have to be unattractive or completely invisable as a TS). You can pass easely for most people and still be spotted by men with this special radar.

x
Birgitta