Discouraged... any tall burly MTF's with a positive/passable transition around?

[Miss_Anthropic]

I'm tall'ish, almost 5'10 and have a fairly heavy build and it doesn't stop me from passing. A good example of my build would be my high school principal taking me out of classes and trying to talk me into trying out for the foorball team (true story, and I hate football btw!) so that should explain things. Coming off a long stint of depression (3 years) I am a little overweight at the moment (300) but I'm slimming down slowly but surely.

An interesting note, my two best friends, both cis females, are 5'10 and 5'11. The one who is 5'11 weighs about 30-40 less than me and we wear exactly the same size in everything, well... everything except bra...I'm jealous

~Sara

[Illusionary weapons]

I was just in the doctor's and got her to measure me I'm 5' 9 and a half as well it's a good height.

[japple]

I've been trying to keep positive, and for the most part succeeding, but every once in a while reality hits me like a punch in the gut.

Hi Gwen,

I'm 5'11" and topped out at 280lbs in my worst...I graduated high school at 170.  I have broad shoulders, went completely bald as a teen, and muscles appear if I think about them.  I had very high levels of testosterone and would cry constantly thinking about how I would never pass or make it as female.

My therapist helped me a great deal by working with shame, then starting to drop weight (35 lbs so far) and I started HRT.   I feel 100% better about my situation and am not worried about being passable or being someone different.  I don't need to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes of my life. 

Take baby steps.  Don't think about the fictional person at the end of the road.  Take each small step that makes you feel good.   I have girl blood now.  My skin is becoming female.  I have a B cup that I'm proud of.  I lactated a little yesterday and truly see my breasts as female, mine, and I'll never go back.  Things that used to be super important or that I obsessed over seem so much less important now.

Baby steps girl.

[Debra]

I am 5'9 (was 5'10 pretransition) and wear 4-5" heels most often. My shoulders are wider than a normal woman's as well.

I agree with someone here that said they can't say that "you WILL pass at some point" BUT you need to understand that it's about you being able to be who you are...no matter how good you look.

We all want to be pretty and beautiful and yet we all have different definitions of that and we all are our own worst critics and in most cases never fully satisfied....(it's a girl thing).

I'm not saying "forget passing" BUT don't make it the priority. THe priority shouldn't be to "pass" but to BE who you ARE. And in a lot of cases, when you start being happy at who you've become, your self confidence emanates from you and it helps you pass anyway.

*hugs*

[Dana Lane]

I am around 6' tall and feel like I tower over most around me. Especially when I wear even a slight pair of heels. I don't like that feeling but there is nothing I can do about it. There are realities with height like ours, though. All tall women get a second look for whatever reason. We are under more scrutiny than average height women, for sure.  I kind of look at physical transition as a point system (without actually assigning a number to things). If you are tall then you are going to need points in other places. But in the end there are things you can change and there are things that are impossible to change. You can't change your height (making yourself shorter).  Unless you want to remove bone from your legs which would then end up being much worse.  Current medical science can't help with other things such as the size of hands, feet, etc. You should make a list of things you can do nothing about and tell yourself "This is my reality" and then focus on things you can actually change. It is futile and destructive to keep worrying about things out of your control.

[justmeinoz]

I'm 6'3" and 94 Kg (200 lb) and have found that height is the least of my worries.  In my case it was thinning hair and voice. 
When I saw my therapist last week, he didn't recognise me as I had on a hairpiece that filled in the top,front and sides and, coupled with laser facial treatment and make-up completely changed my appearance.  Until I spoke he didn't realise it was me.
Previous to that I walked around a large shopping mall and carefully watched people's reactions via reflections in shop windows, and didn't notice any stares at all.  A confident, relaxed attitude goes a long way, as does making sure the details are right.  Matching belt and shoes, jewellery, a quiet voice, appropriate make-up for your eye colour, and most of all dressing to blend in with the people around you can all help.

[Joni]

Wow, I did'nt realize so many of you were so tall! May I add therapy to the mix?

[japple]

I like what Vexing 6'2'? had said about tall transsexuals.  She said that height made it actually EASIER to pass because people just assume that their is some other glandual issue or whatever going on.

Tall women tend to have taller squarer faces...so she might be right.

[Stephanie.Izann]

This is such a great thread! I love coming back to this thread when I am feeling a little blue about my own size. I'm around 6 ft. and still 223. But I'm hoping to lose some weight soon and I have noticed that I have lost some muscle mass due to the HRT around my shoulders and neck (thank G-d). I just have to keep telling myself "all in due time".

[justmeinoz]

Further to my last-
Today I visited a friend I haven't seen for a long time. I was wearing flared women's jeans, ankle  boots and a t-shirt over a small breast forms. I had light make-up and a necklace and bangle, as well as the hairpiece I referred to above.
She didn't recognise me until I was within a few metres of her, even though we had worked together for years, and was blown away by the difference in appearance. If you act like the person you know you are, then I guess others will assume you are who you appear to be.

[Caith]

This weekend, the wife and I were out of town for the weekend, and renting bicycles to ride several miles of trails.  I was wearing no wig, and no makeup, but freshly shaven.  Just women's jeans and a peach V-neck top with a non-structured sports bra beneath.  The young man at the rental station offered me a ladies' bicycle, and I was most grateful. 

I honestly don't care if he thought I was FtM instead of MtF, it meant I was giving off some measure of feminine vibe that day, and I wasn't even trying.  It was a rare pleasure for me.

[Christy Edwards]

Yes being tall can give ua 2nd look. I am 6'3 and hardly ever wear heels. Once I weighed 230 lbs, but have lost down to 185. That along with a yr of HRT, makes a difference. I can say with me, HRT has kept me very trim, esp in the waist and legs...Wondering how many changes will occur in 3 mo/6 mo/ and even a yr. Shall see.... But yes confidence and self acceptance goes along way...

[angiejuly]

 I just re started HRT , have fallen into my true self and manerizms, I live straight male, biuld fishing boats, cannot go full time till at least a year of HRT. I do workouts and yoga on womens health  sights , eat almost organic vegan, no drinking no drugs, ( but medical)

I have changed the things I can and making plans for the rest. Once a week I get mammed. The last time was at Costco, Hesaid ," have a great evening mam"! I carry a backpack like a purse, I had a head band covering my eyebrows and reseeding hair W/ it tied under ( on the neck) Board shorts, slippers, and guys punkband T-shirt. All I have done is be myself through choice of words , manerizms and just keeping neat and clean. my true accepted self eminates so much woman people look past the male face and body. I use a straight male voice in public too and still get mammed.

Time has shown me physical changes only make it easyer too pass but people will read who you really are when you accept who you really are. The individual possessed with dignity is so powerfull its like a Jedi mind trick. I`m 6' was 240 am now 175, worked as a general contractor and mason for ever, was very built ( my wife misses it) stopped hormone because I thought I would never pass but.................. Mammed without trying? I think I am going to be just fine.

Never give credit to your atributes outside yourself. Love Angie,  Aloha

[Gwenhyvar]

Have I said lately how amazing and supportive this forum is? 

You are all so wonderful!!!!!! (<--- too many exclamation points you think?)

Life has been crazy busy lately, and I haven't had nearly enough time to keep up with the forum, but when I check back in I always see things that make me wonder how I stayed away for so long.   

Hugs to all!
-Gwen

[patriciatg2]

Hi, I'm 6'2" 225 lb. and what do I care what other people think? Besides who would want to take on a tall ->-bleeped-<- anyway. I cannot go fulltime because I'd like to keep my job, so I wear a long wig which stretches over my shoulders. Anyway guys just focus in your boobs anyway. Put it behind you. At work people gather in their clicks and I'm not accepted as a guy. So I just pretend I'm the Wall, do my job and go home to be someone else. You have to do the same thing out in the world. Patricia

[Kay]

I have two friends that are over 6'3" who are transitioning at the moment.  They're so tall, that they have to buy their clothes in specialty stores on-line that cater to tall women because of the extra limb lengths needed. Foot size?:  13+.    Both of them recently (within the last 6 months) went full-time at work.  They're both happier and more relaxed  than they've been in a long time, now that they can be themselves...and work is going well for both of them.  So far one passes ok (and will look even better after healing from their FFS next month), the other is taking things slow, and while she could probably use some help in the passing department....what matters is that they're both happy.   And they're both working toward living a life that reflects who they are.
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Personally, I'm just shy of 6',  but very burly with broad shoulders, and the extra weight I'm carrying doesn't help either.   The whole time I was growing up, I'd always get comments about how big my shoulders were (bleh).  I guess what I've found is that despite this, the body isn't that hard to deal with.  There are a lot of tricks you can employ to alter your body shape presentation.  By wearing certain cuts and styles you can accentuate/downplay proportions and features to give the impression that you want.  Yes...even for someone with football shoulders like me.  It does cut down on your options a little, but not as much as you may think.  Personally, I thought I'd never wear a cami in public simply because my shoulders were too big...but it worked just fine last Summer...and I'm looking forward to doing it again this year.    Little accents (jewelry, makeup, etc) also make a big difference.  A lot of passing is about subtlety, and sending the proper gender cues.  And as said above somewhere, confidence, presence, and attitude are a large part of that. 
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Passing perfectly isn't the end-all-be-all of things.  I know I don't pass perfectly.  I'm rather large for a woman, my hair has a couple of thin spots that are a bit noticeable, and my facial profile is horribly masculine.  And despite all of that, I generally pass most of the time due to everything else mentioned above.  Just remember that there is a lot of variation among women.  I know I'll definitely never be a model.  Square-faced Germanic Hausfrau is about the best I will ever do, but if it means that I can be me, it's more than enough. 
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So do what you need to do to be happy, and to live a life where you can be open and honest about who you are.  Whether you're big and burly like me, or tall like my friends, or even if like me you don't pass perfectly...you shouldn't let it get you down.  A meaningful happy life is possible for you.