Not sure about crossdressing

[Kev]

I'm a biological female and have been wearing shirts and jeans all my life, ever since I could keep my mom from putting me into dresses (ugh, I hated this).
I feel very strong about my masculine side, and I haven't figured out yet in which direction of transgender it will go.
I want and need so badly to dress up like a guy. And the casual jeans and shirt won't do. I want to wear a suit and tie, and you have no idea how urgent this feels. I want to go outside like this. I want to buy a suit and tie and wear it. At least at home for a start. I want to match it to the way I feel.
Then, I'm very frightened to go to the mens department and look at suits and buy one. I'm frightened of being looked at.
What do you think about this?

Thanks for your answers!

[spacial]

If you have any discomfort about buying clothes, you should go into a decent, large department store and just say what you want.

Men's shirts invariably come in collar size, so asking for that shouldn't be a problem. Ties are usually one size. Pick one you like.

Trousers tend to come in waist size. Jackets need to be tried on, but that shouldn't really be a problem either.

Shoes. There are charts which compare ladies and mens sizes. Most genetic females tend to have smaller feet. So you may need to get a children's size. Generally children's shoes are available is some good styles.

Stand your ground and say what you want. If you get any grief, make a complaint.

You are the customer. You don't need to explain to anyone. Their job is to serve you and make sales.

So, unless you fancy trying to pay with foreign currency then they have no dam business being anything other than polite and courtous.

[Kev]

Thanks for your answer, spacial.
I was already wondering about the sizes, I'll look that up.

Just mentioned to my husband that I was going to get new clothes tomorrow.
I said I wanted something "nice", not really explaining what. When he said I should do that and don't look for the money, since I should wear what I'm comfortable with, I was very happy.
I worked up the guts to drop that I would love to have one of those ties. At that he looked a little puzzled and didn't say anything. Then I told him I mostly like what I find in the mens department, and that I didn't feel good about going there and actually buy something. At that he said that wouldn't be a good idea.
Little disappointment at that point. I wish he had said "wear whatever you want, who cares".

Ah well. So far so bad. :-)

[tekla]

I see women shopping in the men's department all the time, and it's obvious that not all of them are shopping for their BF. 

P.S.  The Italian silk ties are the best.

[Melody Maia]

Thanks for your answer, spacial.
I was already wondering about the sizes, I'll look that up.

Just mentioned to my husband that I was going to get new clothes tomorrow.
I said I wanted something "nice", not really explaining what. When he said I should do that and don't look for the money, since I should wear what I'm comfortable with, I was very happy.
I worked up the guts to drop that I would love to have one of those ties. At that he looked a little puzzled and didn't say anything. Then I told him I mostly like what I find in the mens department, and that I didn't feel good about going there and actually buy something. At that he said that wouldn't be a good idea.
Little disappointment at that point. I wish he had said "wear whatever you want, who cares".

Ah well. So far so bad. :-)

I would buy and wear whatever you want. My father's death a couple of months ago at a relatively early age really drove home the idea that you only live once and has fueled my desire to transition. I think women tend to look really good in guys clothes. I think many of us on the other side of the fence are not nearly so lucky. You should walk into the men's department as if it isn't any big deal and get what you want, because it really isn't a big deal. I highly doubt anyone would bat an eye. Confidence is the key.

[barbie]

It would be easier for f2m to buy clothes than for m2f. One disadvantage is men's clothes are not so much diverse and noticeable.

Many working women wear like men in modern societies. Here in my country, some women wear those clothes like military uniforms, and indeed they are very aggressive and masculine. Those aged women are called 'ahjumma' here. Some stereotypes on ahjumma are poor driving, verbal attack, indifference to beauty, lack of estrogen, and extreme viability. We jokingly say there are three genders here: men, women, and the third gender, ahjumma.

Barbie~~

[Kimberley]

Much easier for a female to shop in the mens section as people assume its for your bf, brother, husband etc. I think that your anxiety may stem if you shop in male clothing or looking somewhat male. If you shop as a female and not presenting male in any way I dont think anyone would give you a second look. I have seen many women shopping in the mens department and menswear stores, everyone knows men dont like to shop so where do their clothes come from? from the female in their life. Its also easier for you to say my bf is similar to my size and you can try on jackets. Pants just check the size. Male sizing is pretty consistent unlike female sizing. Also shop at the larger stores that will refund if your choice is wrong when you get home. Much easier to go to the refund counter and get the refund, you could say he chose this and I dont like it on him.

Different as Barbie stated for MTF shopping for female clothing.

[Cindy]

As a fashion item throw in: The ONLY male clothing I like to wear are bow ties. Hate normal ties. There is a great range of clip on bow ties (I have never learned how to tie a bow tie, I'm sure it is on wiki) in gorgeous colours and designs. They are very gender neutral. But totally statement.

Be brave

Cindy

[spinaltap]

men's suits are awesome. you go for it. I've never bought one, but I tried to wear one of my brothers old suits to a mock trial tournament in high school (failed because my mom ran into my coach and told him she bought me a girls suit, which was hideous), but I tried. I think you'll love it.
as for shopping in the men's department, like everyone else has been saying, no sweat it.  I do it all the time, (dressed as a boy). and no-one cares. granted... I don't pay close attention to their faces, but as long as you don't live in some small ridiculously conservative area, you'll be fine. I hope you have fun. 

[spacial]

Thanks for your answer, spacial.
I was already wondering about the sizes, I'll look that up.

Just mentioned to my husband that I was going to get new clothes tomorrow.
I said I wanted something "nice", not really explaining what. When he said I should do that and don't look for the money, since I should wear what I'm comfortable with, I was very happy.
I worked up the guts to drop that I would love to have one of those ties. At that he looked a little puzzled and didn't say anything. Then I told him I mostly like what I find in the mens department, and that I didn't feel good about going there and actually buy something. At that he said that wouldn't be a good idea.
Little disappointment at that point. I wish he had said "wear whatever you want, who cares".

Ah well. So far so bad. :-)

I can't comment on your relationship with your husband but may I suggest you could go for it gradually?

Many women wear shirts and ties. Not just those with gender dysphoria.

As a genetic male, I confess I have a lot of envy with the freedom women have generally. It's really hot today and I would dearly love to put of a skirt.

As others have said, just go in and buy what you want. I did say that shirts are usually measured in collar sizes. But I should also have said that some shirts are intended to be quite tight. That might be an issue for you. A nice shirt and tie which shows off your breasts might not be quite the look you're after.

I also have to say that, I hate ties. I have 2 clip ons, one blue for when I need to impress and one black for funerals. But spending la load on an Italian silk tie seems .... hmmm

but that's just me.

[cynthialee]

Just walk into that store and buy what you want. Do not let fear rule you. Live your life for yourself because you are the only one who can.

[Kev]

I tried and failed. So a friend I recently came out to is going to come with me. She is a real butch and is constantly shopping in the mens department. I hope this will help me get this mental barier down.

[tekla]

It's just that, a mental barrier.  Sales people want (need) to make sales.  We're long past an economy that allows them to care about who is buying what.

[justmeinoz]

Tekla is right about a mental barrier, if you go into a shop and buy "a shirt and tie in size 42 please",  nobody will bat an eyelid.
They will just assume you are doing what all the other women who do that are doing, buying for their guy.
Have you tried on one of your husband's shirts to get an idea of fit vs size?
Trouser fit will probably be harder to work out, depending on your figure I would think, although a good store should have stout and tall alternatives to the normal cut.
Good luck! Sandra.