that ugly four lettered word....

[Muffin]

I first heard it about two years ago from an ex-housemate who used 4chan everyday (yet was also TS). I was baffled by that..... but that wasn't the only thing I was baffled by in regards to her :S

I guess that has a huge effect on how ones sees and understands it... which is why I'm so interested in hearing back from this person I PMed... still no reply yet

[Autumn]

Yeah I don't know if I understood what you were really trying to say... if anything. Kinda wandered off to me.... uummmm...
I guess I don't feel comfortable with the idea of "Hi I'm a trap", being an acceptable form of "coming out" to someone. Is that what you meant?
It makes me think of a court room "he was a trap, I had no Idea, he mislead me to think he was a she... it's not my fault". "sir are you a trap?". "what? ..I don't even....". BAM guilty.

Keyword: mislead. That is the under laying message in "it's a trap". imo.

I suppose I did, a little. I was relating to how absolutely hung up and offended so many people here seem to be about any misunderstanding by any random person regarding transsexualism. How statements can be taken as a great offense (the status of my boobs), or used to inform people. In most cases, when object malice isn't intended, I'd rather inform people in a confident and rational way, rather than get huffy and come across as some bitch.

I've got more doctors than I can fit on one hand who've been absolutely floored/confused/curious/uninformed about the transsexual condition. And even if they have familiarity with it, they aren't close to 100%.  I'm quite used to doctors asking me questions, and intently following what I have to say to them, as they're learning something.

When doctors, of all people, are in that position - how can you expect every random person to be able to immediately get every term and phrase and such perfect? I have a hard enough time explaining womens' sexuality to straight guys, or how bisexuality works... you expect the average person to have picked up a copy of "How To Feed and Care for your ->-bleeped-<-" at the news stand?

*shrug* I personally think it's a funny phrase. We've had threads about ->-bleeped-<-, dickgirl, t-girl, ->-bleeped-<-, now trap, and who knows how many other slang/vulgarities regarding our condition. Honestly? I find it the least offensive of the list, and as I said, pretty humorous. And it does include the compliment that you do, in fact, pass admirably, after all.

And yes, it's what I meant. An hour or so before I came out to my current girlfriend, we were discussing her teenage years. She was athletic, horny, and had really bad acne. I mentioned that that combination probably meant she had high testosterone for a woman. She laughingly said to me "Are you saying I'm like a boy??"

When I felt I was to the point where I had to do something, I took that phrase, "Remember when you thought I was accusing you of being like a boy? ... people might have had an easier time using that one on me..." I was looking for some way to broach the subject, to me, it worked fine.

*shrug* Every person is different.


Also, you ARE misleading people if you're pre-op and fail to disclose that until the pants come off.

[Muffin]

I'm getting the feeling we're going in completely different directions here.

I guess my exposure to the term has possibly tainted me a little too much..... I now relate it possible too much to immature little kids that sit on their computer looking up porn (4chan etc) and occasionally coming across a picture of a transsexual and being disgusted by us.
Sure there are plenty of guys out there that are mature about it all but they are less likely to spread the good word that we are human and are actually pretty cool. As opposed to the immature kid that help spread a virus meme through the internet covertly poking fun at transsexuals. Regardless of it's other connotations, the TS one IS out there.
I understand the "oh so what it's just another insult to add to the list... meh!". But I feel like this term is actually a little more damaging because it's so subvert, and suggests that we mislead people. It's pretty hard for a transsexual who's photo is online to somehow magically contact the person viewing the picture to explain to them how they came to be in their situation to avoid any "misleading".
They not only judge us but in a sense accuse us (falsely) of misleading people. They are pre-op women trying to earn money for an op... they're not out to trick anyone.. they (the immature kids) come to that (wrong) conclusion themselves then spread it.
And what you're saying is we're expected to laugh along with the "joke"?

I will try my best to contact anyone I see posting that picture to ask them what it means and if it is in relation to transsexuality then I will (covertly) suggest they reconsider their opinion with a bit of research that I will be willing to provide.
A complete waste of time huh.. probably.

[Steph]

I've been called worse in the past...

I have to agree with Autumn.  A pre-op, and in some cases post-ops who do not reveal who/what they are before entering into an intimate relationship is being a little deceitful to say the least and shouldn't complain when someone reacts in a negative way.  I can't think why anyone would want to put themselves in that position.

-={LR}=-

[cher_m]

I've been called worse in the past...

I have to agree with Autumn.  A pre-op, and in some cases post-ops who do not reveal who/what they are before entering into an intimate relationship is being a little deceitful to say the least and shouldn't complain when someone reacts in a negative way.  I can't think why anyone would want to put themselves in that position.

-={LR}=-

+1   My first boyfriend was 6'5" tall.  About a week passed between the moment we first professed our feelings for one another, and our first kiss.  I wouldn't allow it until he knew.  I did relax that a bit with subsequent boyfriends, but only as far as kissing.  (I do like kissing )  Anyway, I was so afraid of how he might react that on the day I told him, I did it while he was waist deep in the pool.  I was sitting just outside the pool and beyond his reach.  Paranoid, huh?    I just wanted that head start to run inside and lock my door.  It was all for nothing.  He asked about the "plumbing."  Being post op, he had no issue with it.  Then... I got in the pool with him and we shared my first kiss with a man.  WOW!  What a difference to kissing a woman. 

I know the community is split on the issue of when or even if one should reveal their past.  Oddly the 3 or 4 men I've told with whom we were at various stages of mutual interest had no problem with it.  The only time I've had a problem is when I concealed my past from those with whom I was NOT intimate with or who would never be more than a platonic friend.  The repurcussions from those instances have been devastating.  I imagine a man would have a right to be upset if he slept with a post op woman who concealed it from him.  Then again... maybe I'm just paranoid

[Muffin]

I've been called worse in the past...

I have to agree with Autumn.  A pre-op, and in some cases post-ops who do not reveal who/what they are before entering into an intimate relationship is being a little deceitful to say the least and shouldn't complain when someone reacts in a negative way.  I can't think why anyone would want to put themselves in that position.

-={LR}=-

This thread isn't even about that at all... >______< I'm seriously baffled to how that came up.

<off topic> I totally agree that pre-op TSs should tell their REAL LIFE potential partners what is "going on" without a doubt. That would be misleading to not do so. But as far as a post-op goes it doesn't make any difference as everything is as the potential partner would expect </off topic>

In regards to the term "it's a trap" and being misleading, I feel that these immature kids are indirectly accusing "traps" of being misleading because they are surprised to find out that a picture of an attractive woman is actually (according to them) really a man.

How can a person in a picture defend themselves? How can they stop and explain their situation before this person is shocked to find out they are transsexual? It's impossible!!! I agree!!!! :O
Should a pre-op transsexual be branded on their forehead if they just so happen to have "sexy" photos taken of themselves??? Really?

[Muffin]

I know the community is split on the issue of when or even if one should reveal their past.

CAN WE GET THIS THREAD BACK ON TOPIC NOW PLEASE???

[Steph]

This thread isn't even about that at all... >______< I'm seriously baffled to how that came up.

<off topic> I totally agree that pre-op TSs should tell their REAL LIFE potential partners what is "going on" without a doubt. That would be misleading to not do so. But as far as a post-op goes it doesn't make any difference as everything is as the potential partner would expect </off topic>

In regards to the term "it's a trap" and being misleading, I feel that these immature kids are indirectly accusing "traps" of being misleading because they are surprised to find out that a picture of an attractive woman is actually (according to them) really a man.

How can a person in a picture defend themselves? How can they stop and explain their situation before this person is shocked to find out they are transsexual? It's impossible!!! I agree!!!! :O
Should a pre-op transsexual be branded on their forehead if they just so happen to have "sexy" photos taken of themselves??? Really?

Firstly I apologize for derailing your thread, it was not my intention, and I didn't realize that I had, some times I type before thinking, again I apologize.

Next I think you need to consider the audience you are referring to "those immature kids" and in doing that one would understand the responses.  After all what else would one expect from the immature.  As far as being branded... Of course they shouldn't be, but then why would anyone want to post these kind of pictures or any kind of picture for that matter without first considering the consequences.  Granted in a perfect world we should be able to do this with out fear but sadly our world is not perfect.

Again i apologize for the derailment and if I'm still missing the point.

-={LR}=-

[meh]

I'm getting the feeling we're going in completely different directions here.

I guess my exposure to the term has possibly tainted me a little too much..... I now relate it possible too much to immature little kids that sit on their computer looking up porn (4chan etc) and occasionally coming across a picture of a transsexual and being disgusted by us.

4chan has a whole section dedicated to "trap" hentai and there's a trapchan spinoff where they feature "traps" and "reverse traps", which I guess are ftms. -.-

[cher_m]

Hmph... guess I'm old.  I had to wiki 4chan.

It really sounds immature and reflects the decline of our culture as a cohesive unit.  Turns out, the site's owner is deep in debt due to the heavy bandwidth required to maintain the site and is having a hard time finding advertiser who don't mind being associated with the site's content.

I wonder if WinHTTrack could work on the site.  If not, a simple program could be written to accomplish the same thing.  I'd think it would.  As many groups as they pissoff, I'm surprised there aren't a lot of people copying the entire site to the client computer.  The amount of bandwidth that would eat up would be incredible, adding to their money woes.  Without substantial sponsors, the site would be forced to moderate to be profitable, and the offensive content would necessarily be curbed.

Just my guess.