Not such a happy christmas!

[Steph]

I had initially thought that Christmas this year would finally be one that I could truly celebrate and be happy.  Not to be... Gill told me that our daughter and her husband do not want me at their house this Christmas, Gill and her mother can go, and I've insisted that they do, but I'm not welcome.

So it's going to be a very lonely Christmas day.  I'm not mad just really disappointed and upset, as I had thought that there was a chance of acceptance.  In fact the last time they were over for dinner they had told me that I was welcome.  So I have to think of something to do on Christmas day.  Now couch potato is looking really good right now with lots of christmas treats, and some movies.  I'm going to phone mom and dad, and I think I'll check around town and see if there is anything going on, but I kinda suspect that everything will be closed.

Any ideas?

Ho hum.

Steph

[Stormy Weather]

...I'm not welcome.

How's that for Christmas spirit, then?

Steph, come round and watch DVDs with me and my friend. We'll be drinking bubbly and eating lots of chocolate. 

But seriously, just spoil your self rotten. Make it your day; a day of pleasing yourself. Or if that sounds far too self-indulgent, you could consider helping out at a local charity that day for a few hours...

[SusanK]

So I have to think of something to do on Christmas day.  Now couch potato is looking really good right now with lots of christmas treats, and some movies. Any ideas?
Steph

You can always volunteer somewhere, such as places serving dinners, hospices, etc. I often use these days to enjoy just being alive and sometimes go downtown (large city) where I can just walk around and see the world and people. It's often amazing what you see and learn (also being a photographer, get to shoot without a lot of people around).  And by the early afternoon people starting getting out (friends, movies, etc.) or driving home, and you'll be surprised what is really open, it's good business.

Good luck. Susan.

[Ricki]

Awww Steph i feel awful!
Wish there was something i could do... I'll be making a virtual list of thoughts to share at Xmas you'll be on it!  Mine will not be the gender Xmas i want but in reality my little bit of family will be here and that is what is important to them!
Hang in there.. Maybe Santa will bring a suprise present for you!
xo
Ricki

[Dennis]

That sucks Steph. Come to Mexico with me and we'll do Christmas dinner in the sun.

If that's not on the agenda, then take a day for yourself. Bubble bath, a nice wine, and some jazz music. If you have a fireplace, light a fire and enjoy your time with your pets. Rather than thinking lonely, think alone.

And I'll send you a virtual hug if you're not on the beach with me.

Dennis

[tinkerbell]

 


I'm so sorry to hear this, Steph.  I wish you lived closer to me, for I'm sure we'd have so much fun.  Oh but wait!  you'd be two weeks post-op by then.  Probably spending Christmas at home, wrapped up in a blanket, feeling comfy,  and watching movies is not a bad idea after all.  However, you shouldn't be alone....any chance to invite other relatives or friends to your place?
co-workers, perhaps?  Of course there is always the chance that your daughter may change her mind until then.

What would I do in a situation like that?  knowing myself the way I do, I'd probably show up at her door with Gill and Gill's mom.  What would she do?  I honestly don't think she would tell you to leave considering that it is Christmas and all.

tinkerbell

[Buffy]

I am sorry to hear that news Steph.

I really do feel your pain.

Buffy

[Gill]

Hi There:

Had supper with my Mom last night and was telling her the whole unfoturnate story about the change in plans.  Told her that we (her and I) would be going up to our daughter's house for Christmas dinner. God bless my 86 year old Mom.  She said "don't be going up there on my account if you want to spend Christmas with just the 3 of us then do that".  And of course it was because of her that I had decided to go.  Not fun getting caught between a rock and hard place....

So today I will be phone our daughter with "my" change in plans.

We had supper the other night with a group of friends and one of them is an LGBTQ psychologist and she said whatever you do don't be slamming doors shut.  Always, always, always keep the doors open.  Good words to remember in these situations.

Gill

[Julie Marie]

Steph, that was my Christmas last year.  For the first time in my life I spent Christmas alone.  But I couldn't blame them for not wanting me.  I mean, I couldn't even follow their simple dress code!

I thought this past Thanksgiving was going to be a repeat.  But after spending many months trying to explain who I am to one of my sisters, I was invited to spend the day with her and her family.  This Christmas, I feel I have a choice, family or friends.  And I'm okay with that.

It's a shame that when we stop being what everyone else wants us to be they shun us.  But that's what society condones, saving face before including family.  What a shame.

Let those around you know what's going on.  Someone will open their heart and their home to you.  And don't feel like a charity case.  You know if a friend came to you in need, you'd be happy to do the same.  And if you happen to be around the Chicago area, my door is always open.

Julie

[brina]

Hiee Steph,

  Differences set aside I feel terrible for you. I have spent Christmas's alone and they can be not very pleasant. Like others have said spoil yourself a bit and maybe working in one of the homeless shelters cooking/serving would be a nice alternative. Failing all of that feel welcome to join Sasha and myself here in Nova Scotia if you would like. I'm the special occasion cook around here and my meals and baking generally turn out pretty good ( pats meself of the back lol ).

Byee,
  Brina

[Sheila]

Steph, I know how you feel. My son did the samething. His mom was welcomed into their home, but I wasn't as long as I was dress as a female. Well, my wife told him that if I wasn't welcomed into their home, dressed anyway I felt like, then she wasn't welcomed and he said fine. I haven't seen my son in 4 years now. I feel bad, but it was his decision, not ours. Pat has stayed by my side and I love her very much for doing so. Yes, I did say she could go and visit without me. She told me to F--k off. So I know how I stand. I'm very proud of my wife and I know that it hurts her and it hurts me. I know it hurts you also.
Like someone has said already, you will be 2 weeks post op. A little rest with some videos, might be good. You could go down to a family shelter and volunteer for work down there. They welcome everyone and it will be very invigorating to say the least. To see the eyes on children who get presents from Santa Claus, who might not have received anything. Also to help with the dinners, to see the smiling faces of people who can't afford dinner or who are all alone in the world. I'm sure you will have a tender moment. Just don't stand too long and bring a pillow.
Sheila

[SusanKay140]

Steph,



It sounds like you're not going to be alone.  One thing you could do is compile a list of the reasons we make these "life-style choices" certain moralists are always demeaning those different from them with.  I don't mean your family, they are also victims of this atmosphere.

I know a magic day is fast approaching.  In case I'm out of the loop later, these are for you now:



Susan Kay