I let my hair grow out shortly after the avatar photo, twelve years ago, and it has reached its maximum length, the middle of my back. Being filthy when I get home from work each morning, I take a warm shower, brush the ground-in grime from my nails and hands, shampoo and condition my hair. Then, on the advice of a stylist friend, I put on a leave-in conditioner after the shower, and comb it through my hair. That's it; I put on a hair band and it air dries.
When ready to go out, I run the comb through again (the leave-in conditioner makes that easy), and put it in a pony tail. Some friends came by impromptu this weekend, and said I should wear it loose more often, but the pony tail is the result of a compromise with my wife and youngest daughter. It sometimes bothers them that I have the longest hair in the family. For work, I have found some sports elastics that hold it in place against everything except an industrial strength fan blowing right at me. I don't turn over in bed without waking, so it's no real bother to turn and flip my hair out of the way before going back to sleep.
I always wanted long hair as I was growing up, and my mother would threaten to tie it in a ribbon. That wouldn't have bothered me, but I grew up in very up-tight times in a tough, "blighted" neighborhood, so I eventually complied with her wishes. She also called me strubbel kopf, German that implied my hair looked like a haystack. The college barber ignored me requests and gave a haircut, I later found out was called a Princeton, a kind of crewcut.
I find my pony tail as easy to care for and as consistently neat as any style other than the crewcut. The latter is important to me, since I will not fix my hair in a mens room. I do not feel like I belong there and try to get out as quickly as possible; I avoid locker rooms at all costs.
Since I first discovered the concept, I knew I was transgendered. Had there been an internet and a Susan's Place, I might have transitioned. Instead, I early decided to keep it a tightly held secret, and to express my inner self quietly. My long hair in the pony tail does that. As others have said, I love the way it feels on neck, shoulders, and ears. Some of my shirts with lowered necklines let me feel it when fully clad (fortunately, outside of head and pubic areas, I am virtually hairless), and let my necklace be seen.
Hair in the mouth at mealtime is definitely an annoyance, but not embarrassing, as when my wife finds one of my hairs in food I've cooked for her. In fact, she will call to my attention, long hair she finds anywhere except on my head. So I am careful to clean the tub after showering. That also avoids the problem with clogged drains. In fact, any loose hairs I find in the house, go straight to the trash.
I don't get hair caught in the car door, but I do catch the pony tail in my purse strap. And I did have to do some thinking to make pony tail compatible with a yarmulke (probably very few of you have that problem).
My real regret is that I lack the knack and opportunity to try it in more styles. I looked up online how to make a bun, and have done that, but been unsatisfied with the result. Maybe I am just not creative enough.
All in all, I am just so thankful every day that I have lived long enough to experience long hair. I am so glad it is wavy. It is such a gift; I just love it.
S
