Where to Begin?

[mjr]

Being so new to this I don't know where to begin.  I'd say I'm right now in exploration mode, trying to understand these feelings I've had most of my life.   Will I go all out or just tip toe around. I just don't know what will make me comfortable with the acceptance of my gender identity crisis.  So much to learn...

So what are the baby steps?  How did you start your exploration of your female persona?

Thanks for any advice,

mj

[JosephKT]

Well... I'm FTM as opposed to MTF, but I think I may still be able to help.  Honestly, this is going to sound really nerdy, but I started with roleplaying.  By actively playing male characters, even in a fantasy or sci-fi setting I was able to experimentally explore the mental and personal touches of what made me personally think of as masculine traits and how they applied to me and what made me find them comfortable or etc... Then with a small group of very close and trusted friends, the cross dressing, then trying to pass, dating as the comfortable gender, etc. until things came into place.

I know Roleplaying isn't something a lot of people are really used to thinking of as anything outside of the bedroom, but really online is the perfect place to start.  You can join all sorts of groups about hobbies you like as whatever gender and no one would be the wiser and no one would have to know.  After all you're really there to talk about the hobby, topic, etc. the site is about so you don't have to feel the spotlight is on you when you talk about yourself.

[mjr]

Well... I'm FTM as opposed to MTF, but I think I may still be able to help.  Honestly, this is going to sound really nerdy, but I started with roleplaying.  By actively playing male characters, even in a fantasy or sci-fi setting I was able to experimentally explore the mental and personal touches of what made me personally think of as masculine traits and how they applied to me and what made me find them comfortable or etc... Then with a small group of very close and trusted friends, the cross dressing, then trying to pass, dating as the comfortable gender, etc. until things came into place.

I know Roleplaying isn't something a lot of people are really used to thinking of as anything outside of the bedroom, but really online is the perfect place to start.  You can join all sorts of groups about hobbies you like as whatever gender and no one would be the wiser and no one would have to know.  After all you're really there to talk about the hobby, topic, etc. the site is about so you don't have to feel the spotlight is on you when you talk about yourself.

Role playing through online groups sounds like a possibility.  Should be interesting to develop my female persona at a couple I already go too.

As for games, why does Starcraft II not have any female roles

Thanks,

mj

[JosephKT]

As for games, why does Starcraft II not have any female roles

Hm.... Being Korean I'm inclined to answer that it is because if Starcraft II were any closer to absolute perfection the game would implode upon itself.  Hail Tassadar!

[Colleen Ireland]

MJ, I gather you're quite a lot younger than me (I'm 54), but I've also just started ("woke up" after a 30-yr+ denial phase), so I'll chime in.  I've come out to my wife of 31 years, and she's having difficulty with it (predictable), so I'm being patient and taking baby steps and letting her get used to the idea.  Today I just bought my first female clothing - a pair of jeans and a top.  I already had some panties.  I've also begun to let my hair grow, although it hasn't gotten noticably longer yet, and nobody has noticed.  I have 3 kids, 18, 24 and 26 all still living at home, so I have to go slow.  But I'm learning.  I have a support group nearby that meets twice a month, and a good friend, so I have places I can cross-dress in safety.  These are small things, but let me feel like I am progressing.  I also have asked my family doctor for a referral to a gender identity clinic for assessment.  That's slow, though - it's been a month with no call-back.  So I'm also looking for a gender psychologist - haven't found one yet, but I'm looking.

Welcome to the family, and I hope I can help, at least a little.

[Miniar]

More "from a bloke" advice!

I think that the very first thing I did was change my shampoo...
In hindsight it seems utterly silly actually, but at the same time, I have fond memories of getting in the shower, closing my eyes and feeling at once a little mischievous and all "happy", off in my own mind, just over a change in scents...

[Eva Marie]

I'm bigender. I started my journey online, exploring susans and other sites, and trying to figure out what i was.

When i figured out enough of it to know what was going on - i told the wife  We don't keep secrets and this one was a really old one of sorts that recently "surfaced". I was about as surprised as she was, frankly. Shes still processing through it all, but she's been great about trying to understand. And i think she appreciates me being open and honest about this.

So, i have been acquiring feminine clothes (the wife knows, the packages show up on the doorstep, and shes even taken back some heels that didn't fit).  I don't flaunt it in front of her, but i drop a phrase every know and then and she knows whats going on. So far, she has resisted seeing me dressed, and i'm ok with that. I can dress on my own time. The amount of permissiveness from her has been far more than i expected.

What the future holds - i don't know. I just take it a day at a time.

[mjr]

MJ, I gather you're quite a lot younger than me (I'm 54), but I've also just started ("woke up" after a 30-yr+ denial phase), so I'll chime in.  I've come out to my wife of 31 years, and she's having difficulty with it (predictable), so I'm being patient and taking baby steps and letting her get used to the idea.  Today I just bought my first female clothing - a pair of jeans and a top.  I already had some panties.  I've also begun to let my hair grow, although it hasn't gotten noticably longer yet, and nobody has noticed.  I have 3 kids, 18, 24 and 26 all still living at home, so I have to go slow.  But I'm learning.  I have a support group nearby that meets twice a month, and a good friend, so I have places I can cross-dress in safety.  These are small things, but let me feel like I am progressing.  I also have asked my family doctor for a referral to a gender identity clinic for assessment.  That's slow, though - it's been a month with no call-back.  So I'm also looking for a gender psychologist - haven't found one yet, but I'm looking.

Welcome to the family, and I hope I can help, at least a little.

Actually I'll be 53 next week.  I've also gone through 30+ years of increasing denial.  Got 4 kids so we are very alike.  As a matter of fact I'm meeting a lot of people here our age.  Cross dressing sounds fun, but I have little experience and practice there and I don't want to look like a man in womens clothes so no dresses for now.  Maybe tops and jeans.  Unfortunately, male pattern baldness afflicts my top.  I was looking at transplant procedures last night... Ouch.   I've read about a local group, I'll probably go sometime soon, I think that would help a lot. 

Thanks for the advice and support.

mj

[mjr]

I'm bigender. I started my journey online, exploring susans and other sites, and trying to figure out what i was.

When i figured out enough of it to know what was going on - i told the wife  We don't keep secrets and this one was a really old one of sorts that recently "surfaced". I was about as surprised as she was, frankly. Shes still processing through it all, but she's been great about trying to understand. And i think she appreciates me being open and honest about this.

So, i have been acquiring feminine clothes (the wife knows, the packages show up on the doorstep, and shes even taken back some heels that didn't fit).  I don't flaunt it in front of her, but i drop a phrase every know and then and she knows whats going on. So far, she has resisted seeing me dressed, and i'm ok with that. I can dress on my own time. The amount of permissiveness from her has been far more than i expected.

What the future holds - i don't know. I just take it a day at a time.

I'm just starting here trying to also figure out what I am.  This site is letting me really explore my feelings openly instead of my head, which to me is a big step.  My wife left me 3 years ago, so it's just kids I need to tell.  Being an alpha male this is gonna be tough telling my children and friends.

Thanks,

mj

[mjr]

More "from a bloke" advice!

I think that the very first thing I did was change my shampoo...
In hindsight it seems utterly silly actually, but at the same time, I have fond memories of getting in the shower, closing my eyes and feeling at once a little mischievous and all "happy", off in my own mind, just over a change in scents...

Shampoo sounds safe.  I love the way women smell and want to smell nice too.  This is a baby step.

Thanks,

mj

[Colleen Ireland]

Actually I'll be 53 next week.  I've also gone through 30+ years of increasing denial.  Got 4 kids so we are very alike.  As a matter of fact I'm meeting a lot of people here our age.  Cross dressing sounds fun, but I have little experience and practice there and I don't want to look like a man in womens clothes so no dresses for now.  Maybe tops and jeans.  Unfortunately, male pattern baldness afflicts my top.  I was looking at transplant procedures last night... Ouch.   I've read about a local group, I'll probably go sometime soon, I think that would help a lot. 

Thanks for the advice and support.

mj

Wow, Mary... I'm just getting back to this thread, thanks for the fill-in.  Are we EVER alike!  Sorry it's taken me so long to find this thread again.  Lots has been happening with me since my last post here.  For one thing, my avatar is now ME.  This was on a girls' night this week (two nights ago) - I met two new friends (in transition) - one of them lent me the wig for the evening.  We were at her house.  They're much further along than me, and are very nice - we had a great time.  Look at my smile!  I don't know how long it's been since I ever smiled like that - maybe never.  Anyway, I'm on vacation next week, so I'm planning to go shopping and buy some more clothes, and a WIG, and maybe some accessories also - I'll see what I find.  I have my first session with my new gender psychologist next week, and I want to look nice for her - YES, I'm going dressed.  And I will be attending the support group again, dressed.  So that will be three times out dressed - Whee!  I may also do some... shaving... but not the arms & legs, just whatever doesn't show.  I'm still calling these "baby steps"...

[Alun C]

Well... Being FTM -- where as you're MTF -- baby steps would be like... slowly, and I mean inching it, changing styles... I know I used to wear alot of feminine shirts and "attempted" to wear skirts, but I slowly explored my tastes alittle more -- "EXPLORATIION~" -- There's also the fact that visualizing your self as the gender you wish to be... When I considered myself a fail girl I began to imagine what I would look like as male -- as it turns out -- I've never been more comfortable --

Baby steps :DDD


Alun