I'm Just not built for this...

[Hikari]

Yesterday me and my wife moved from our rural house to an apartment in a small city (an aside: I love small cities but, I hate big ones, isn't that strange?). This small city luckily provides much quicker access to Washington, DC and the jobs it provides but, currently the finances are strained so there just wasn't any money for movers.

This means, having to haul all of the furniture and boxes down stairs at the house and up stairs at the apartment (The house door is actually on the second story, which was odd) ourselves, without any sort of movers. I have never enjoyed lifting heavy or cumbersome items (Does anyone?) but, I finally came to the realization that I am just not cut out for it.

It is frustrating to do in the first place, but the greater frustration is to have people comment and snicker that I should be up to the task. When one thinks about it, this is a rather incredulous statement, due to my having a penis, I am able to lift dressers and televisions up stairs, for the most part by myself?

One of my male friends came over to help near the end (and indeed without his help I might have just died trying to get this entertainment center up the stairs) and even though I am 'out' to him, he just couldn't understand why I didn't see that I should be capable of these rather herculean tasks. He said that if I wasn't strong enough then I should work out more so that I could be strong enough to do such work.

He eventually did agree, that I simply wasn't built for this type of work (Literally so, I am about 6ft and he is like 5'7¨ and my wrists have a smaller diameter than his by quite a bit and I even wear a smaller ring size and waist. Apparently I have a rather slender build compared to most men...) but, I still can't shake the frustration of the whole thing.

It is interesting, but the more and more I come to terms with myself it seems the more bothered that I am at being forced into male roles, or conforming to male stereotypes.  I wonder how common this is for other transgender people? It is almost like being transgender and admitting it creates a kind of momentum that is actually quite scary for me, yet strangely exciting in it's own right.

In any case, I am certainly not looking for a job as a mover, I think I am cut out for much more delicate work...

Oh and if anyone is a professional mover here, you = awesome, because that must be one of the hardest jobs that just doesn't get credit nearly enough.

[Shang]

I don't think your friend meant anything mean.  Men have generally more muscle and strength than women so they can generally lift more than a woman can (this isn't always the case--my sister is really really strong and is all muscle).  It's just a generality that's still found and what people still think about--I only think about if a guy can carry most of the weight if they're bigger than me and I can see that they have muscles, but then again I can't lift more than 50 lbs without help, but I have muscle damage in my arms and my legs so they impede me. 

When my parents helped move me into my apartment, my dad and my sister carried most of the heavy things because me and my mom just couldn't do it.  And the whole family learned that professional movers rock and are totally worth the expense, especially when trying to get a huge washer through a narrow door...I'm definitely hiring some to help me move in two years. xD

[Janet_Girl]

Prior to HRT I worked as a delivery driver.  I delivered Appliances.  Refrigerators, stoves, washers, dryers and building materials.  Upstairs, downstairs, just about anywhere.   

Now I can't hardly lift 30 pounds.  Go figure. 

[JessicaR]

I know what you're going through... 

   I work in a home improvement store... As a male employee, I was often called upon to carry larger items out to customers' cars, something that  had becoming very difficult for me as I progressed with HRT. When I came out, I was initially relieved that I wouldn't be expected to do things like that. As time went by, though, and I started to change my appearance in public, everyone seemed to expect the same functions from me as before. I had been wearing baggy clothes and longer sleeves to conceal the effects of HRT but even after people could see that I quite obviously had girly arms AND explaining the effects that HRT have on muscle mass, they still didn't get it. Something that hurt was when my best friend left something heavy in her car one night and asked me to bring it in for her. She had no clue why I started to cry.

  Something I've learned is that (with rare exception) you will forever be your former gender to anyone that knew you before transition. No matter what changes you make to your appearance, gender seems to be a fixture in people's minds even when they truly understand Transsexuality. Even after living full time for a year I still occasionally  get "he'd" and "him'd" by my Mom and best friend. There's no ill intent; It's just that you have always been you to them and suddenly telling them different just doesn't compute. To them it's like you're announcing that the sky is green... Only another Transgendered person truly understands that gender is independent of chromosomes.

   I don't know where you are in transition but I can tell you that it gets easier as you go along. I was very sensitive early on but it doesn't bother me as much now...  Especially when cute contractor customers see me going to lift something and insist on doing it for me    Things like that make up for the friends and family taking a longer time to get it.
  Anyway, people close to you will start to come around.... it just takes a really long time.

[Raven]

Even though I'm not out to my family as male yet (assuming I'll ever be able to tell them), they do have a tendacy to ask me to help them move heavy things like a dresser,mattress,treadmil and the like. Because even though I'm 5"1 I am actually quite strong and I guess I have some muscle under my weight lol. But I do surprize myself with my strength heh I can litterly pick up my ex off the floor and he weighs at least around 200 lbs and that is basically the heavest weight I lifted heh. I aint pulling no ones leg bout this heh last time I picked him up then turned around and picked up my mom she freaked and told me I better stop before I hurt my back lolz. Hmm I wonder if I could make it as a mover?

[spacial]

As for your city comment, no, I don't think that's strange at all.

I don't like the countryside, to be honest. I like a bit of bussel. But equally, I don't like big cities for too long.

[mjr]

I too live in a small city near D.C., and it's quaint and quite until the commute.  My drive is around 40 minutes to an hour to get to work.

Hope you enjoy the area.

Mary

[Vanessa_yhvh]

My mom, who's about six inches tall, was raised on a farm during the Great Depression. I'll not soon forget her expression when, earlier this year, I said in frustration at some of what she expects out of me, I'm just not a tomboy, Mom!