Marrying a Transgender

[LovingCat]

Hi All,

   
I believe that the best person to turn to for advice is the one who experienced the case not the one who is studying it,so I hope u can help me.

I am a 38 yr old woman married to a man and have a 7 yr old girl, 4 months ago,I met a 24 yr old girl with a very nice eyes and that venous sculptured body,her name is Lara...she started going out w me alone and sharing my interests ...she told me she is a lesbian and I never minded having a lesbian frd,but she confussed that she had a crush on me and that she can wait a life time for me ...anyway,I fell in love with her and had sex ,for my surprise,the sex was awesome,much more better than w my husband and I won`t lie if I said that it made me love her even more...good times never last, my husband discovered accidentely our affair(as he described it )and he convinced me and I got sure that it is religiously forbidden and it is a huge sin ...I decided to leave my husband for her ,but as I am religious ,I can`t marry her ...so she decided to go on with a transgender surgery to be a man ...putting in consideration that she has being living like a man the last 4 years ,wearing like one ,speaking like one ,her atittude with me and everything except that she still have boobs and long hair .

Now,I am in a turning point of my life. I left my husband,Lara decided to go for surgery and began her physcatric sessions to make sure she is capable and she passed ...we r searching for best places to make the surgery ...she is 24 yrs old ...I wonder how she ll look after surgery,will she has a beard ,more hair on the chest ,a strong erected penis...I look to her as a man ,I even speak to her as a man refering to her as HE ...I love her v much and I love God more.

Hope u got my point .Thank u for ur time

Loving Cat

[confused]

Hi loving cat ,
first of all i'm sure (or i hope) that lara is not doing this just to be with you because it has consequences that could lead to depression and other things if ze is not a guy
with that said , welcome my fellow egyptian (yes i'm egyptian too ^_^)  you and him will find very useful resources here in the wiki here
and here
as far as i know , before srs FTMs as well as MTFs usually undergo HRT (hormone replacement thereby), which causes body hair growth and more muscle mass and other things like voice break
for FTM's transition HRT is more important than surgery . you'll find that the wiki is a very useful source for information about this

you havnt mentioned lara's hormone therapy state (did ze go through it?)
as to where to perform the surgery , it depends on where you live (which i'm pretty sure it's not egypt for various reasons XD)
overall , best of luck , and welcome to susans ^_^

[LovingCat]

Hi eNTROPY,

    It is nice to meet someone that near that has that sum of info , I wonder if u r a doctor or u just experienced this transgender issue... I am pretty excited about that forum coz i feel it is all new for me ,plus I hardly need the info .

   Well,we live in Egypt ok, I know u might be surprised for my honesty and my frank words,but I am used to such support forums ,but for different issues,and I count it one of Allahs blessings on earth to find sincere,careing ppl ,suffering and r willing gladly to help others through their struggles ...in fact it is very supportive to feel that we r all together in one path and to find someone speaking ur pain and troubles that u thought that nobody on earth can handle ... I wish we had such support groups in Egypt too ...but our culture and traditions hold most of us from speaking our hearts out loud.

  My man didn`t begin any HRT yet , but her hormonal assay is good ...so she can begin the process. I guess we still have a long way to go ...I emphesised  on that she is making the operation for herself not for me ,coz I told her "I ll die one day and u ll still be a man for the rest of ur life ".

   I went through the wiki as u mentioned but I noticed it is not updated ,as u may know that medical care is highly developed by days not by years and I am not sure that all info written is the most recent .

   Thank u v much for ur time and concern and hope we can get in touch soon.

  best of luck

LovingCat

[kelly_aus]

   I went through the wiki as u mentioned but I noticed it is not updated ,as u may know that medical care is highly developed by days not by years and I am not sure that all info written is the most recent .

I understand what you are saying here about medical science, however Sex or Gender Reassignment Surgery is a very specialised area with relatively few practitioners. As such, there is very little in the way of major advancements, so the wiki articles, many dated 29 March 2010, will contain the most up to date info..

[LovingCat]

Thank u Kelly for the enlighting ...I am sure I ll ve a LOT to read these days...but what I like most about this forum is that I understood how the transition issue is always a life changing step to all and I sensed how all struggled and fought for their right to be happy and to be themselves at the end ... the supportive words said here is unpricable and motivational.

  I pray for all of u here and hope all ppl would c and feel what I felt after reading alot of the posts here ...May Allah help u all u in ur journeys .

  Glad I found that place.

  LovingCat.

[Lacey Lynne]

Yours is an amazing story.  Wow.  I'm really not qualified to say anything about this particular topic, but I will recommend that both of you seek a very experienced and specialized surgeon.  FTM surgery is very complicated and requires an experienced pro to do it safely and right.  Good luck to both of you!

[confused]

Hi eNTROPY,

  I wonder if u r a doctor ....
t

lol ofc not , all i said that there's hrt and it's usually before surgery and have serious effects but anyway

Well,we live in Egypt ok, I know u might be surprised for my honesty and my frank words,but I am used to such support forums ,but for different issues

well i though you didnt live in egypt because of the name lara , i mean laura is common but lara just isnt . also because you said he had psychiatrists therapies and passed , well here in egypt the official diagnosis is always autophilia that led to gender identity disorder and the syndicate have to approve it and they never actually do . also because i'm surprised that your religious and you dont know that sunni sect says that changing birth sex or "messing god's creation" is forbidden/haram (although i think that they misunderstood the spirit of the whole thing but thats not our point)
your "writing accent"  though is so egyptian , i can tell what exact egyptian words ran through your head when you were typing this XD

in fact it is very supportive to feel that we r all together in one path and to find someone speaking ur pain and troubles that u thought that nobody on earth can handle ... I wish we had such support groups in Egypt too ...but our culture and traditions hold most of us from speaking our hearts out loud.

yeah thats why i'm excited about you and your SO XD

good luck to you and lara and hope things go for the best