Who could detransition?

[Mara]

I don't think I could.  I had severe anxiety and depression before starting hormones.  Even if I had a choice between magically looking like the most beautiful woman in the world but having testosterone go to my brain, or looking like the ugliest but having estroge in the brain, I'd choose the estrogen.  With estrogen helping both my mind and appearance?  It's not even something I could consider stopping.  And even with estrogen and anti-androgens, I still feel like a liar when people call me male and I don't correct them.  I couldn't live the rest of my life like that.

I tried for a long time to put it out of my mind, but I've realized that I'd only detransition for something that would be worth sacrificing my life for, because that's the likely outcome.

I think many transsexual men and women don't have the same issue, or have some other mental trait that lets them endure it, and I totally respect them.  They are certainly just as transsexual as I am.  We don't all have to have the exact same experiences, after all.

[K8]

Actually, I was put on notice that I couldn't detransition.  About six months in I was talking to my best male friend.  I don't know how it came up, but he told me that I better not go back because all of my friends had put a lot of effort into using my new name and new pronouns.  They'd all stuck with me through transition (and probably would have through detransition if I needed it), but he was saying it was hard enough for everyone around me the first time and they wouldn't stand for another!

Our transitions affect those around us too, and they don't even have the reward of becoming who they need to be.

People who need to detransition have my respect.  Transition is hard enough without having to then detransition. 

- Kate

[lilacwoman]

Not to change the subject here  , but I have a weird question.Not that I would ever detransition, but has anyone who did after many years, wind up looking the same before the transition? I would guess no, but im real curious.

Who cares?
But FWIW the few who made headlines in UK over detransitioning had feminised quite well and were possibly lying about detransitioning and may have still been on E to maintain the femaleness.
Logically if taking E swaps muscles for fat then removing the E will make the fatless skin to hang loose and sag and cause extreme male aging.

It's hard to know for sure unless anyone can find some photos of a person when pre-HRT, well tranisitioned and then detransitioned.  Only one I've seen pix of is Sam the Sham but he had lots of FFS so doesn't really answer the question

[Just Kate]

Actually, I was put on notice that I couldn't detransition.  About six months in I was talking to my best male friend.  I don't know how it came up, but he told me that I better not go back because all of my friends had put a lot of effort into using my new name and new pronouns.  They'd all stuck with me through transition (and probably would have through detransition if I needed it), but he was saying it was hard enough for everyone around me the first time and they wouldn't stand for another!

Our transitions affect those around us too, and they don't even have the reward of becoming who they need to be.

People who need to detransition have my respect.  Transition is hard enough without having to then detransition. 

- Kate

Interesting you should mention that.  We have all heard stories of how a person will transition and there is always some jerkface family member who will refuse to call you by your new name or learn the proper pronouns. 

I experienced that in reverse, when I detransitioned, some of the other TS I knew refused to call me my male name or refer to me as a guy cause they "knew" it wasn't who I was.  I of course, was far less offended by this - as there is indeed some very strong part of me that identifies with being female - but I found the comparison noteworthy.

On a similar note, my mother, who had made all her passwords some derivative of my name, changed all her passwords to some derivative of my female name... then changed them back.  That woman was a saint.  In fact, it was she who named me both times.

[Just Kate]

Not to change the subject here  , but I have a weird question.Not that I would ever detransition, but has anyone who did after many years, wind up looking the same before the transition? I would guess no, but im real curious.

Pictures of me before transition compared to now after I de-transitioned are apparently striking (or so I've heard).  I was far more masculine looking back before transition.  Now, while I can still pass as male (especially with facial hair) I have softer features, an hourglass body, and of course... breasts that I keep hidden.  But just judging by facial features, I've had people wonder if I was kidding them showing them pictures of me as a teen.

[Debra]

Jerica is such a charming and beautiful person who is facing her challanges with  more strength than I had. I look at the contentment in her pretty face and know how she feels.

Thank you girl. I just do what I have to do, you know?

[kimberrrly]

I don't think I could.  I had severe anxiety and depression before starting hormones.  Even if I had a choice between magically looking like the most beautiful woman in the world but having testosterone go to my brain, or looking like the ugliest but having estroge in the brain, I'd choose the estrogen.  With estrogen helping both my mind and appearance?  It's not even something I could consider stopping.  And even with estrogen and anti-androgens, I still feel like a liar when people call me male and I don't correct them.  I couldn't live the rest of my life like that.

I tried for a long time to put it out of my mind, but I've realized that I'd only detransition for something that would be worth sacrificing my life for, because that's the likely outcome.

I think many transsexual men and women don't have the same issue, or have some other mental trait that lets them endure it, and I totally respect them.  They are certainly just as transsexual as I am.  We don't all have to have the exact same experiences, after all.

I feel the same like you though.

[Bones]

Whenever I hear about someone detransitioning, it breaks my heart... simply because that person must be going through a spectacularly difficult time in their lives.

This is such a difficult path, and there is no one correct way to walk it. For decades now, I've grappled with my own gender incongruity, and after making up every excuse in the world to dismiss it, I am finally at peace with one simple set of ideas: I should have been a girl. I want to be a woman. I want to live the rest of my life and grow old as a woman.

Once someone has reached that point, and gone beyond it into actual transition, it must be horribly painful to go back, whatever the reason... People who detransition need support, not judgment (they may not want support from the trans community, but they need it anyway, at least in spirit).

Here Here! It IS VERY painful to go through. When it happened to me..it took me years to finally get to start transitioning and then when I had to make the decision to stop, it nearly put  me into a severe depression. But, I cared about my kids far too much to let them go through hell. I didn't bring them into this world to be selfish. I had/have a responsibility to them. I can be selfish when they are on their own.

Yes, but you are your own person and do what makes YOU happy, is what I heard from a lot of trans friends...I will, when they leave the house, when me thinking about  me doesn't effect THEM..then I will do as I please, but until then, I have a responsibility to the two men I am raising.

Now they have left the house, on their own, living their own lives and now I get to be selfish and think about only me. And that's exactly what I'm doing...with a vengeance! =)

[Dana Lane]

Absolutely no way would I go back. Not for all the money in the world.

[Heidi808]

[meliaMANNEQUiN]

i could never detransition for anything.

[Janet_Girl]

I give my support to anyone, who is going through this.  But I would rather eat a glock than detransition.

[Rock_chick]

Actually I was having thoughts about detransitioning last week...and not pleasent thoughts either. I wasn't thinking about it because I doubt I'm female or I preferred being a boy (I have absolutely no doubts about being female and I interact with the world a hell of a lot better as a girl than I ever did as a boy), but because I knew that doing so would hurt me and kill me in all likelyhood.

Yeah, last week wasn't great.

[wannalivethetruth]

I couldnt!! lol! Just dont see no future in me being a man!

[MillieB]

Being in a very much semi transitional state (I've told everyone that matters, everyone has seen me as a girl, but yet to change my name and take the full time plunge) I have given serious thought to not transitioning and drinking myself to death instead, I nearly succeeded in this in my twenties (not drank at all for more than eight years though) and to be honest, it was a lot easier than all of this because no-one expected anything of me, particularly not myself, with everything that comes with transition, I have to admit that it's tempting.

However, when I'm not so scared/depressed I know that transition is the only chance of a happy future, the alternative would not be pretty and there is no delusion of a happy life as a guy, for the simple reason that I'm not a guy! As people have said in this thread, the genie is out of the box and now I have accepted who I am the thought of trying to slink back into denial seems ridiculous.