Being a Girl: It's the little things

[Melody Maia]

In the interest of staying positive as I wait to start HRT, and hoping to learn new stuff, I thought it would be interesting to list the little things we have learned about being a girl. The kind of stuff our mothers would have taught us or we would have learned at puberty if we had been natal girls. I am new to this, but even I know some stuff like:

Lots of stuff collect under long nails. There is a special tool for cleaning under there and pushing your cuticles back.

When shaving body hair, using a loofa will reduce ingrown hairs.

Epilators remove hair from the root, keeping you smoother longer, but hurt quite a bit. However, epilating parts and shaving parts spreads the pain across sessions until you get to the point that you can exclusively epilate.

Nylons feel AWESOME, on smooth legs.

Waxing your eyebrows really can feminize your face.

People seem to have better things to do than notice your shaved legs.

Buying high heels online is much less embarrassing, quicker with a greater selection than buying at the mall.

Walking in heels 2" or less is pretty easy. 3" or greater takes practice.

Singing in the car to "girl" songs is good voice practice.

When walking, girls throw their shoulders back and lead from the hips.

Girls don't use their pockets much.

Girls tend to push their glasses on top of their heads instead of slipping them onto their collars.

Anyway, that is all I can think of right now, but you get the point. I hope other ladies can add their little tidbits.

[Colleen Ireland]

When a girl feels relaxed and comfortable, she'll signal this by running her fingertips along her breastbone from side to side.  Slowly, and not too much.  As with most things, a little goes a long way.

When speaking, girls tend to let their voices go up at the end of a sentence, rather than down.  But not all the time.

While walking, men tend to look down.  Girls look around them, especially at other people.

[Debra]

Girls use much more inflection when speaking. 5-7 tones on average, while guys only use 2-3.

When sitting, girls keep their knees closed because leaving them open is bad form...more obvious when wearing a skirt/dress but even in jeans, it can look bad. Guys sit with their legs open all the time and what they have between their legs doesn't allow them to close them completely comfortably either.

Heterosexual girls might get giddy inside and all warm and fuzzy when they see muscles on a guy.

Cuddling can be just as good or better than sex for a girl.

A huge thing I'm learning: As much as I want to be sexy as a girl, I don't always have the time or the desire or even the ability sometimes, as frustrating as that is and I'm learning how to still feel ok with myself when I am not at that prime-sexy-feeling state.

[Tad]

hmmm.. I never knew any of this.. goes to show how much was lost on me growing up

[Melody Maia]

Thanks Colleen and Jerica!

One other thing I remembered getting out of the shower, it is better to pat yourself dry with a towel instead of rubbing. Fewer ingrown hairs that way too.

[lilacwoman]

When a girl feels relaxed and comfortable, she'll signal this by running her fingertips along her breastbone from side to side.  Slowly, and not too much.  As with most things, a little goes a long way.
When speaking, girls tend to let their voices go up at the end of a sentence, rather than down.  But not all the time.
While walking, men tend to look down.  Girls look around them, especially at other people.

the alpha male most likely will talk to a point somewhere on the horizon.
girls may  draw out the last syllable of words: noo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o, ye-e-e-s-s-s

Colleen explain the breast bone thing?  I see GGs and myself running extended fingers along the collar bone and playing with lockets/crucifixes on necklace but breastbone?

[Cindy]

I tend to give a 'cheek' kiss when meeting a girl friend. I've never seen guys do so.

I also catch myself talking and twiddling a (pierced) ear ring.

Remember other girls family, names and relations, particularly children. And ask about them.

Talk in the loo.

Remember what your friends are wearing and talk about it. Most guys don't remember what they are wearing.

Cindy

[mtfbuckeye]

I find discussions like this really fascinating, because when I imagine myself after transition, I have a fairly tomboy-ish picture in my head. I'm sure I'll want to get all prettied up from time to time, but day-to-day I'll probably be a "jeans and a t-shirt" kind of gal, wearing minimal make-up and sneakers rather than heels.

In terms of mannerisms, I don't want to do obviously male things that would get me quickly read, but I also don't want to create a new, insincere simulation of "feminine" behaviors. I still just want to be myself... Just a better version of me with a prettier face and some curves, which is perceived by others as female. Does that makes any sense?

I think in this regard, the loosening of gender roles works in our favor- There isn't one "right" way to be a woman these days. Thank God.

[alexia elliot]

Oh I will miss those little things girls will never do:
scratch my butt.....just a little, pick my nose at the red light( you can pick your nose anywhere else ) sneeze with the explosive thunder of braking sound barrier, fart....... excuuuuuse me ( my grandmother used to say ''better out then in " and she was a female although a weird one at that, lovingly that is), gulp down a bud in half a second ( forget the beer altogether ), yawn like a tornado siren, I do run my fingers though over my breast bone, does that automatically cancels all those other no goes?

Oh yeah, I totally forgot, no more aggressive driving and looking like I know what I am doing behind the wheel

[Sinnyo]

What a lovely idea for a topic!

Lots of stuff collect under long nails. There is a special tool for cleaning under there and pushing your cuticles back.

This intrigues me, as I've found quite a useful tool myself - other fingernails. It's starting to annoy my family though, as the sound of nails clicking dirt out from under other nails is akin to hearing clippers.

When walking, girls throw their shoulders back and lead from the hips.

This is, without a doubt, the best advice I'd read (in Alice in Genderland). Not only does the posture radiate confidence, it coaxes you into the hip swagger and even an appropriate gait for heels, although the pain in my feet suggested I had a long way to go with mastering my 3" ones. >.<

I'm still picking up a few things. Sometimes when I'm entirely relaxed, I realise my voice settles into something very girly and I do start playing with the necklace at my collar bone. That's a wonderful feeling. I still get hung up on what other girls are wearing, though - I'm not at all confident enough to go parading leggings under a tunic top, much as I think the clothes are delightful.

[Colleen Ireland]

Colleen explain the breast bone thing?  I see GGs and myself running extended fingers along the collar bone and playing with lockets/crucifixes on necklace but breastbone?

(blush) Collar bone!  I meant Collar bone!  I just had someone say that to me last evening, and I realize I already do that - I've been doing it for years, maybe all my life...

[Stephanie]

Don't forget that girls are all sugar and spice and all things nice.    They love flowers, and lace and pretty things and they are also  kind to animals and the elderly.

[My Name Is Ellie]

This is all cool and useful, but I can't help but wonder if we're leading ourselves out of one cage and into another. I know I'm a girl, but I don't think that means I should try and act like "one" or have to now do "girly" things

That's not to say I don't enjoy a lot of the above of course! I just don't think they necessarily come with "being a girl".

[Stephanie]

This is all cool and useful, but I can't help but wonder if we're leading ourselves out of one cage and into another. I know I'm a girl, but I don't think that means I should try and act like "one" or have to now do "girly" things

That's not to say I don't enjoy a lot of the above of course! I just don't think they necessarily come with "being a girl".

I agree Ellie.   keeping your legs tight together or crossed at the knee is the only thing that almost all women have in common.   Girls are taught from a very young age not to flash their panties or expose their underwear as it is most un-lady-like.   

[MaggieB]

I like to glide when I walk or have a slight swish as I walk, not the hunkering bent over dude I tried to be.

Maggie

[lilacwoman]

(blush) Collar bone!  I meant Collar bone!  I just had someone say that to me last evening, and I realize I already do that - I've been doing it for years, maybe all my life...

  OK   guys just don't do anything with their necklaces and apart from dogtag styles they don't have things on them and wouldn't be seen dead playing with them or bring it up to their lips.

[lilacwoman]

Don't forget that girls are all sugar and spice and all things nice.    They love flowers, and lace and pretty things and they are also  kind to animals and the elderly.

That nicely sums up Liberace too  -  he was always stroking his minks 

[Cindy]

I know this is a fun thread, can we include what we like doing as girls that we couldn't or didn't do before hand? Besides the obvious. Also the surprising things we have found out?

For example:

I love taking a long bath with lots of 'smellies' reading a book and luxuriating. In male mode it was a quick shower and off.

I'm amazed at how bitchy women are to each other. Particularly in clothes shops to the attendants.
Try on ten skirts, whatever, leave them on the floor and walk out .

Polishing your nails. Love doing this. Sit on the bed listen to music painting my toes. Singing along and feeling totally normal.

Crying. When it all gets too much I cry. It helps. But I cry for all sorts of reasons, happy, sad, frustrated, angry, every emotion seems to make me cry. I don't remember crying in maleness.  I really quite like to have a cry. Seems really odd

I have a total different feeling about my house. This is the strangest thing I am trying to deal with. I have no explanations, except that hormones change your house design .

I now have cushions on the bed to match the new bedspreads, 'cos they look nice together. I have  new tablecloths for dinner parties and keep a set of dishes, cutlery for when I have dinner parties. I dress up for dinner parties, I feel nice and I'm not trying to impress, I feel nice and that is what is important to me. I (male) used to be a jeans and shirt dinner guest and reluctant at that.

I look at jewellery, I buy it . Not because it is feminine, because I like it.
I think this leads into the biggest change I have. I feel feminine, hopefully look female and present female, 'act ' (poor word) female and I am female. But who am I doing this for?  Me. Before trans time ( and yes I also hate trans prefixes BTW) I had a belief, as I struggled to live,  that women wanted to look 'hot' and 'act' female in order to attract guys.  No; we enjoy looking good for us. Yes OK there is the competition to get the alpha male, not from me BTW. But the main drive for a girl to be  excited is in looking and feeling good.

I apologize straight away for the millions of  women who never have this privilege,  who are sex mules, commodity and regarded as inferior.   
Being male should be a privilege,  males should be taught that they do not have the right to molest anyone by nature of there physical strength.  Fat chance.

Sorry, had a glass of wine.

Cindy (hic)

[justmeinoz]

Having accessories that match.  Shoes, handbag and belt ditto.

guys-"accessories??"

[Sinnyo]

I love taking a long bath with lots of 'smellies' reading a book and luxuriating. In male mode it was a quick shower and off.

Squee, yeah. I don't think I could turn back from nights with a Lush bubble bath and some soothing music put through wireless headphones. I fall short of having a book or nice glass of something to hand, but I started the whole routine when I began to feel most comfortable in my transition. It's the sensation afterwards, of soft skin and fluffy towelling, which I think puts me in a most feminine place. ^_^