I hate to say this, but theres no other way.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Thanks again.Just curious, have you begun HRT yet ?

Me? I haven't started yet, but I am hoping to be starting the first week of October. I have an appointment with the doctor on the 29th of September, and I'm assuming the blood work will take maybe a week, I hope not much longer. =/

[Angela]

Good for you andthenwekisss ! I hope that they let you start immediately in October.I remember how anxious I used to be.The most fun part is seeing your facial features changing every month or so from HRT.

[Britney♥Bieber]

I think the funnest part will be finally getting boobs and electrolysis!! And my first pair of heels!!! and my hair getting longer. It's at such an ugly stage right now. My icon is fake But it's getting there I guess.

[Angela]

I hope you dont mind me asking, but when will we see an avatar of you ? Maybe a few months into your transition ?

[Britney♥Bieber]

Well the avatar is me but I mean the hair is fake haha. I'll be more comfortable posting pics once I look like a girl I suppose. But people on here have seen me for real, on my facebook. (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1280043694 add me if you want!) I just didn't wanna put an avatar of me looking like a guy here cuz when I'm on here I'm Kimberly and it's really nice to have a place where everyone knows and respects me as Kimberly. Pretty much everyone in my life knows I'm trans but I don't get called Kim or she yet I guess in time when I look like a girl, well I hope. ->-bleeped-<- I'm rambling lol. But to answer your question in case I didn't, I will probably add a pic of me once I look like a girl. Eyebrows done, makeup, long hair (real or wig) etc. Hopefully soon!

[Angela]

Thanks for the info.Looking forward to hearing more on your progress in the future.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Thanks! I look forward to hearing about how it goes with dating. I wish you luck!! I know how it feels to be frustrated when things won't go your way haha

[Angela]

Thanks! I look forward to hearing about how it goes with dating. I wish you luck!! I know how it feels to be frustrated when things won't go your way haha

[Britney♥Bieber]

Aww haha. <3 I really commend you for being so open!

[JennX]

Ive been post op long enough now.When im on a date and reveal my past, they leave.Its not only about having a relationship,but I want to experience sexual intercourse as a woman.Im seriously thinking about not revealing myself on just a couple future dates.Am I a bad person if I do this? ???Has anyone else done this?

Tough question.

Since I'm preop, I tell all the guys upfront. Since you're postop, that's a totally different ballgame and it really is something you should decide on a case by case basis. Being postop, I'd definitely not go on a first date with a guy and tell him my life's history... what if you never see him again? Too much info. 3/4th date sounds about right, but again I'd only mention it if there's a possabilty of a LTR.

[JennX]

I think the funnest part will be finally getting boobs and electrolysis!! And my first pair of heels!!! and my hair getting longer. It's at such an ugly stage right now. My icon is fake But it's getting there I guess.

Electrolysis is definitely NOT fun. 
Painful, time consuming, and costly better summarize it.

Shoes otoh definitely = FUN!!! 

[jmaxley]

Pretty much everyone in my life knows I'm trans but I don't get called Kim or she yet

I hear ya on that.  Same way with me.  Except I get called she, girl, woman, and Miss.  Sometimes they'll use my guy name...which is really weird when I get called girl at the same time.  It's like saying to somebody, "Hey, Bob, what's up girl?"

[Britney♥Bieber]

Electrolysis is definitely NOT fun. 
Painful, time consuming, and costly better summarize it.

Shoes otoh definitely = FUN!!! 

The day I can afford to have the hair removed from my face will be a fun one, trust me. I want it to hurt lol. Not really but it be a lot funner than shaving forever or having a beard But I meant getting my rid of my facial hair would be fun.

I hear ya on that.  Same way with me.  Except I get called she, girl, woman, and Miss.  Sometimes they'll use my guy name...which is really weird when I get called girl at the same time.  It's like saying to somebody, "Hey, Bob, what's up girl?"

That is weird. No one calls me Kim and idk It gets to me but I don't really feel comfortable asking them or reminding them every time, not yet. Idk

[kyril]

I'm not even reading the thread, but I'm going to reply. Bad Star XD

Anyway, I haven't had the problem, and not sure I will. I'm rather withdrawn, sexually. But in my view, I think that a sexual partner has a right to know certain things. And this sucks to say, I hate saying it, but I have to consider the world here: One of those things is if they person they're about to have intercourse with was once a different gender than what they present as. If they find out, at all, it can be a deeply troubling experience for them. It's not something I'd want to expose anyone to, and it's honestly not fair to them.

Think about it for a moment, though. Would you want to have sex, which is, in my view, the highest declaration of love you can give to a person, short of marriage (and I do think these two should go hand in hand, but not forcing anyone), and these just short of dying for a person, with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are? I can hear it now. "But who I am is a (gender) now. (sex) is in the past"

Please understand. I'm not validating this. Man, woman, in-between, what you were born as is a part of you. Discarding it is as bad as never pursuing your true gender. So yes, you will lose out on some sex. Yes, you will lose some people close to you. But gold can only be tempered through fire, and what emerges from the hottest flame is the purest gold.

I guess it depends on how you see sex. I...well, I guess I just don't see it as all that important/special in and of itself. More of a fun way to spend an evening than an expression of lifelong commitment. I definitely wouldn't put it anywhere near the same category as dying for someone...on my scale of expressions of affection and caring, sex is higher than buying a drink but lower than cooking dinner.

Someone with your view of sex obviously would seek out partners who felt equally seriously about it, so your approach makes sense for you. On the other hand, someone with my view has very good reason to seek out partners with a similar outlook (both for compatibility's sake and just for the pragmatic fact that it's a whole lot easier), so your reasoning doesn't really hold for us. Most people, I'd guess, fall somewhere in between and have to navigate a balanced approach.

But I'd say in general that it's probably a good idea to disclose before you have sex with someone you're dating or in a relationship with, not out of any particular belief that sex itself is terribly important, but because it becomes important and meaningful when it happens within the context of a relationship.

[lilacwoman]

Pretty much everyone in my life knows I'm trans but I don't get called Kim or she yet :

lots of small minded people will take a delight in reminding you of your old self...nothing you can do about it...but you will find yourself cutting them out of your life and situations.

that face of yours under the big glasses and hair has all the makin's of a pretty girl.

[Debra]

Ive been post op long enough now.When im on a date and reveal my past, they leave.Its not only about having a relationship,but I want to experience sexual intercourse as a woman.Im seriously thinking about not revealing myself on just a couple future dates.Am I a bad person if I do this? ???Has anyone else done this?

Well girl I know the feeling. I mean I'm still pre-op but gosh they drive me crazy sometimes, we coulbe having the greatest conversation known to either of us EVER and then it comes up and I'm honest and BAM, he either stops talking or says something rude and it's over. =(

When I'm post-op, I imagine I'll remove it from my dating profile altogether but when they ask about it I'll still talk openly about it. Also before we go into a serious relationship , I'd probably want to reveal it to them but I'd sincerely hope that by then they'd like me as a person enough to not care, esp with anatomical body parts intact ....but I know some even then, won't.

it's a hard life we live girl. *hugs*

[Britney♥Bieber]

lots of small minded people will take a delight in reminding you of your old self...nothing you can do about it...but you will find yourself cutting them out of your life and situations.

that face of yours under the big glasses and hair has all the makin's of a pretty girl.

I know and I don't mind haha. And that's probably the nicest thing anyones ever said to me <3

[Cruelladeville]

My view on this always is I choose not to declare it.... now some 18 years plus post-op

But also I have a pact with myself that if I were to be ever asked/or challenged by a significant (male) other about my unusual start.... I would never deny it...

But here's the catch-22...

No man I've ever dated, ever has every asked me about my past? Not a single one....

So if the need is not there....why worry....eh?

[Mara]

I'm early transition, and pretty sure I'm completely gay, but if I were dating guys, the main issue would be safety.  If they're a particularly homophobic/transphobic psychopath, they might feel justified in beating you to death to "redeem their manhood," and be too crazy to even care if they get caught for it.  It happens occasionally.  The secondary issue would be that I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am.  The third issue would be that even if their feelings are wrong, and based on ignorance, I do understand that everyone has flaws, and I'd rather not make anyone uncomfortable.  (The first issue isn't a big issue among lesbians, but the second and third still are.)

[Britney♥Bieber]

I'm early transition, and pretty sure I'm completely gay, but if I were dating guys, the main issue would be safety.  If they're a particularly homophobic/transphobic psychopath, they might feel justified in beating you to death to "redeem their manhood," and be too crazy to even care if they get caught for it.  It happens occasionally.  The secondary issue would be that I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am.  The third issue would be that even if their feelings are wrong, and based on ignorance, I do understand that everyone has flaws, and I'd rather not make anyone uncomfortable.  (The first issue isn't a big issue among lesbians, but the second and third still are.)

Yeah I'm terrified of being hurt. I'm just hoping that I'll be ok. I plan on being open about myself for as long as I can, I want to be able to help girls going through the same thing. So if I have trouble maybe I'll join a trans safe dating site lol