Hi, Jenny:
You are NOT alone, hon.
I went through crap like you did ... and then some. I'm not trying to compete or compare. Just believe me when I tell you that you are not the only one who went through major-league bull_____ growing up.
The doo-doo I went through was so f_____ed up that I literally could not tell anybody about it. Why not? They would think I was making it up! Anyway, that was then, and this is now. The bad news is you will NEVER get entirely over that childhood stuff, really. The good news is, it does NOT have to ruin your present life and your future life. It really is true that as we think, so are we. The point? Dwell on the you that you want to become, can become and are becoming. Rock on, girl!
You are finally coming out to yourself and being yourself. Prepare to really enjoy it, because it's a great experience! Welcome to our e-family.