Male Privilidge

[brina]

Brina had a wake up call at work. It seems as though I NO longer have that 'Male Priviledge' any more.
I had asked an operating engineer to move his machine 5 feet forward as it was blocking the laser beam we use for setting elevations, and was pleasantly ignored. Do I miss it NADDA, but it is frustrating standing there while to guys chew the fat and I'm unable to do my work .

Byee,
  Brina

[beatrix]

While I still present as male to almost everyone, this is something I have noticed a lot more even in my own speech.  I try really really hard to work on this, but still it comes through.  My wife doesn't work a "job" right now beyond our children; but looking back on that conversation I am ashamed of myself:  the other day I was complaining that my clothes weren't clean or something mundane at home to someone at work and that the least she [the wife] could do is take care of those kind of things while I worked. 

Have to work on that.  And if the person who I was talking to at work would have pointed that out, perhaps I could have stopped there instead of just whining.

I hate whining, especially when I only come to the realization that I've been doing it all along.  There is no reason on earth why I couldn't have done those clothes or dishes or whatever myself.

If I work hard on this and treat her with respect I know she deserves, my daughters will perhaps learn from us, and my wife will support me (selfish motive, I know) on my gender journey.

If you feel up to it, I would talk to those guys as they are and call them on it.  I wish someone would have said something to me so I could slap myself in the forehead.

But, I know I'm a little weird.  Having 2 daughters and gender questions and reading the feminist literature I've been can bring someone a way down that particular road.

[Jules]

Have you tried talking to your boss about it? From the sounds of it, you just took in whatever that guy dished and continued on with your day. I don't know if you see the matter as too childish-worthy to report it, or not. But something has to be done. What if this guy goes out of control next time? It may of started as a case of male dominance in decision making, then it could turn into a sideshow about his physical strength over yours. Before you know it, you could get hurt from aggravating him with more requests.

Because this guy sounds a bit edgy in a sense. By "pleasantly ignoring" you, he shows that he obviously doesn't give a care. He would rather not deal with you. And if you continue to press on, he's most likely to get annoyed and angry.

So, if you're looking for a solution to all this, I suggest you bring it up with your employer.