While I still present as male to almost everyone, this is something I have noticed a lot more even in my own speech. I try really really hard to work on this, but still it comes through. My wife doesn't work a "job" right now beyond our children; but looking back on that conversation I am ashamed of myself: the other day I was complaining that my clothes weren't clean or something mundane at home to someone at work and that the least she [the wife] could do is take care of those kind of things while I worked.
Have to work on that. And if the person who I was talking to at work would have pointed that out, perhaps I could have stopped there instead of just whining.
I hate whining, especially when I only come to the realization that I've been doing it all along. There is no reason on earth why I couldn't have done those clothes or dishes or whatever myself.
If I work hard on this and treat her with respect I know she deserves, my daughters will perhaps learn from us, and my wife will support me (selfish motive, I know) on my gender journey.
If you feel up to it, I would talk to those guys as they are and call them on it. I wish someone would have said something to me so I could slap myself in the forehead.
But, I know I'm a little weird. Having 2 daughters and gender questions and reading the feminist literature I've been can bring someone a way down that particular road.
