Quote from: Carlita on October 22, 2010, 09:09:25 AM
Great story ... but it's an interesting point ... what should a child call the woman formerly known as Dad?
I mean, we did father them, after all ... An I'm not sure it's fair to expect, still less order a child not to keep thinking of us as their father, even during or after transition ...
Anyone got any suggestions??
IMO, the children should be determining what they feel comfortable with calling their parent.
I attended the Philly Trans-Health Conference a few years back and there was a panel run by grown children of transpeople, whose parents transitioned when they were young children. Universally, each of them responded to this question exactly the same... their parents let them refer to them with their birth relationship and for them it was essential to their (the children's) own mental well-being. Knowing they had both a mother and a father gave them a sense of normalcy to the process -- who cared if Daddy was a woman or Mommy was a man.
Using "Daddy" (or "Mommy") is fairly easily explained in that light. "{Insert child's name} wants me to be Daddy, so that's what I am for {child}." The explanation we use for young children is "{Child's name} has two girls for parents. Wouldn't it be confusing if she called us both Mommy?" In my personal experience, most people assume my daughter was the product of a lesbian relationship -- the rumor among the PTA is despite me being the titular Daddy, her father was someone famous and hence why there's a hush up. The handful of people in the school really in the know about her birth origins are greatly amused with the rumor.
As the child gets older and they become more aware of peer-pressure, their need for the birth title may change, and that's fine too.
