Looking young because of height.

[notyouraverageguy]

Warning, this is going to be a rant of me complaining.



So, idk where to start...
I have really bad dysphoria almost daily, worse when I go out in public/places with a lot of people. But my dysphoria isn't due to my chest or lack of the lower region like most guys... the thing that gets to me the most is my height. I haven't grown in like 10 yrs, and im 99.9999% sure im not going to be growing anymore any time soon. And there's no possible way ever for me to grow any taller.
:/
Id give anything for at least 4 inches.

Well in turn of my height, I have small hands and small feet. Short arms, short legs...
And due to the effect of my small stature, and babyface, I look half my age.
So my problem is, I will never be what I was meant to be. Ill never look how I was supposed to look. Even with T ill just look like an old little kid cause im so short.
And it sucks cause guys out there don't see what they have, they're not happy with being 5'5". It seems like we never appreciate what we have, we always want more. But id be happy with the normal height of a short guy. I know kids who are younger than me, and are taller. Both guys and girls.
Im like a midget guy, and my fear is that ill always be seen as a kid.
I just want to look my age, and more height would really help that. And the fact that there's nothing to help me gets me really down, and depressed, and I just want to give up. What's the point in trying to look like the guy I was supposed to be when I will never be tall enough..
My height really gets me down, it tears me up inside. Cause just a few inches all over and id be happy..that's it..and no one understands, cause everyone is taller than me.

This effects everything.
I can't hit on people that look my age, or even younger. Little kids are always checking me out & trying to get with me, its annoying and makes me feel like a pedophile.
I mean, if people don't know my age then I pass like 100% of the time(as a young boy). But once they know my age, they see a girl. Cause there's no way possible I could be my real age, at this height with this voice.
So in turn, this makes dating nearly impossible. If I go out with any friends they assume im the little brother, even if im with a group of people my age. I look so young that when its just me and my sister, they think im her kid. She's only 4 yrs older than me.
I have a fear, that with T, ill just look like a little boy with a beard.
:/

I've tried looking at the positives or trying to embrace my height. But I can't, I hate it. Yeah, sometimes I get things cheaper. Food, clothes, tickets. Cause I pass for the kids menu & fit into boys shirts. But nobody wants to be a boy forever, eventually we all want to become young men, then men. I don't mind having the spirit of a kid forever, but I do mind looking like one for life. Yeah it'll mean when im 10 yrs older ill still lokk young. But I don't want that. I've tried dying my hair, cutting it different ways, dressing with a different style..I've found that (according to others) I look older being just me, with my natural hair color.
Everyday I wish to be taller, but its just a silly hopeless dream...and everyday it gets worse and worse.
I don't know what to do, I just feel like giving up. There's no point to transition cause ill never be a normal guy. I've got everything else but that.
And height does make a big difference in life. I can't lift certain things to certain places, I can't reach high places. Most of the time wherever I sit, I can't reach the ground. Its just everything..and I can't date anyone taller than me, cause ill feel lesser..but everyone is taller!
>:/
Its sucks cause I 'pass' often, but I still look at myself negatively.

Idk, wow this was long..ill stop typing now..I think that's enough of my whining for you to read. Thanks if you read through it all.

[Cameron James]

Being short sucks.

While they might not help much, you may want to look into buying some shoe lifts. They can give you about +2", and every little bit helps! LesLoveBoat has some. http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/product_info.php?cPath=32&products_id=176

They're pretty cheap too - like $10, which I definitely think is worth it, especially to help ebb dysphoria.

[notyouraverageguy]

Hey thanks Aiden, maybe ill give those a try.

[Cameron James]

Hey thanks Aiden, maybe ill give those a try.

No problem. They recommend getting a size bigger for the best fit, since the lifts are insoles. They're best worn in boots or hi-tops so the shoes don't slip off your feet.

[Devyn]

Just a suggestion, you could try looking taller by wearing huge ass boots like this: http://www.westernweddingboots.com/ladies/uniquebridalwear/images/menswomenbootsgothpunkbootspatpukneehimonsterplatformboot17i.jpg

Being short sucks, I know. I'm sorry. 

[Robert Scott]

I am sorry too!  I so feel your pain..it's something myself struggle with...hopefully T will add some maturity look to me

[notyouraverageguy]

No problem. They recommend getting a size bigger for the best fit, since the lifts are insoles. They're best worn in boots or hi-tops so the shoes don't slip off your feet.

I was going to ask about that, I don't wear tall shoes. :|

Devyn, lol yeah I think that would just make me feel worse. :d

Rob,
Yeah I hope that for me too.

[Cameron James]

I was going to ask about that, I don't wear tall shoes. :|

They'll work better in skater shoes than in shoes with shorter backs if you wanna avoid hi tops or boots - so you should still be able to use them if you wear Vans or the like. It'll make them kinda Croc-like in that there's no back.

If you're handy, some well-placed velcro straps in the back could fix the problem pretty well.

[Meepit]

I've struggled with this A LOT as well  . I was going to suggest the elevator shoes as well, but you guys beat me to the punch  . If it's any consolation, some of the most powerful men in history have been under average in height: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6_cnfpfNUD8/SqsqEF540bI/AAAAAAAAANs/ygRWzLll2gU/s400/090911+World+Leaders+Heights.jpg

It helps me to realize that even in sports I'm interested in (football, MMA) there are guys that are around 5' 6" and not only compete but excel in their fields.

Though I agree that our societies' picture of the ideal male is "tall, dark, and handsome" I saw something about women not trusting these types of men as much (so maybe we get the same amount of attention from women just a different kind of attention  ). Besides, societal ideals come and go. Back in the day, the most attractive women were those who would be considered overweight by our standards today. Not saying that societies' picture of the perfect man will change overnight, but it's definitely something to mull over.

(Wow, there was so much I wanted to say at the same time I think that came out EXTREMELY cluttered xD excuse me)

[notyouraverageguy]

They'll work better in skater shoes than in shoes with shorter backs if you wanna avoid hi tops or boots - so you should still be able to use them if you wear Vans or the like. It'll make them kinda Croc-like in that there's no back.

If you're handy, some well-placed velcro straps in the back could fix the problem pretty well.

Hmmm okay. Thanks for the info!

Meepit,
I see short guys all the time. Even some with taller girls. I just hate to be so short, it sucks!
I hope I can find the confidence to get over it though.

[Quicksand]

Trust me, you won't look like a little boy with a beard.  I think it's important to remember that things like height seem so much worse pre-T, because we tend to seize on smaller issues to avoid the pain of the big picture.  I had my own issues as well.  The point is, you are going to look like a male your age someday.  Pre-T guys almost always look younger than they are, regardless of height.

I had a transman who mentored me as I went through the process of transitioning.  I stood a good 7 inches taller than him, but the way he carried himself always made me feel three inches shorter.  And he looked completely male and had a lot of luck on the dating scene.  A little testosterone and a lot of attitude go a long way!

I personally would skip the shoe lifts as well--it's only delaying the inevitable need to confront your discomfort with your height, since at this point it's probably not going to change much.  Plus, there are no shoe lifts that are tall enough to completely eliminate self-consciousness about height.  Just keep the long-term in mind--one day you are going to be on hormones, and one day the only thing people will see when they look at you is a man your age!

[Arch]

Trust me, you won't look like a little boy with a beard.  I think it's important to remember that things like height seem so much worse pre-T, because we tend to seize on smaller issues to avoid the pain of the big picture. 

Echo.

The prez of our local FTM group is quite short--about five feet, I believe. Maybe less; he's way shorter than I am, and I'm a little over 5' 6". He has been on T for more than five years, and absolutely nobody ever mistakes him for a woman. He's all guy.

I know that doesn't help you now, but try to look to the future. I still have to do that myself because even though nobody mistakes me for a woman, I'm impatient about everything, like the facial hair that I don't have.

[notyouraverageguy]

Thanks guys.
I guess it is all in how you carry yourself, and you level of confidence..I just don't really have any right now.
But ill try not to focus so much on it, but its really hard.

[Fencesitter]

Hello,

5'1" here. Yes, you read it right. 5'1". (My dad is 5'3", so your size).

Most guys are taller than me here, even most women are taller than me. Germans tend to be quite tall.

Moreover, when I was physically a woman, I looked 6 to 8 years than I was (female mode, I always had very "cute" physical attributes - imagine Meg Ryan transitioning, it comes close to that). Meanwhile, I have had enough testosterone shots to sometimes pass as an adult, but like many transguys, I look 7 or 8 years younger than my age - plus the additional 7 or 8 years effect from before have added to this and may remain. I am often mistaken for a 16-20 year old boy though I'm in my mid-thirties, and when I tell people my real age, they go like this  and ask - how is that possible? Well, it's my little secret. But I know that with more testosterone shots, I'll look older than that. I already "grew" from a girl (no chance of passing) pre-t to a 14-year old boy to a 16 and now mostly young adult boy after 1,5-2 years on testo.

Women my age usually don't flirt with me on their own cause I could be their son, but they feel flattered when I flirt with them and sometimes respond to the flirting. Trouble is, it's almost always those women who are attracted to me who want a kind of surrogate son in a relationship, which sucks. One mom is enough for me. Maybe I could find exceptions here, but it's too much of a hassle for me. Young women don't flirt with me cause they want a guy bigger than them. But I'm bi, and "option B" works very well: young guys flirt with me as they think I'm cute, elder guys flirt cause I look cute and young (same as before transition, only now it's the gay guys, not the straight ones). Well I only date people about my age or elder, so young people are fun to flirt with, but nothing results from it. Before transition, I also had almost no chances with women as soon as they knew I'm bi, so at least nothing has worsened here.

First of all, you won't end up looking like a midget boy with a beard, but like a small man. The "boy" phase might take longer for you than for taller transguys, though. A small size causes some delay, but does not mess up anything. You'll look older and older with each testo shot. The good thing about it is that you can really "grow" into the adult male role and people won't be too angry at you if you mess things up when they think you're still a teenager and still need to learn how to behave as a man. It's very useful actually, and most of us go through this "boy" phase as the physical changes take a while (unless you're old, then you might look just weird during the transitioning phase but will look okay after a couple of years on T). I know a couple of other transguys about my size or only a bit taller, and they all look like small adult guys, not like midget boys with a beard.

I'm still happier than before, as the "age dysphoria" is much less awful for me than the "gender dysphoria". And it helps me to know that my dad is not much taller than me.

I wouldn't suggest wearing high shoes as it will not change much for you and make people wonder if you don't wear them every single day.

[Nygeel]

I was recently introduced to a tumblr blog called "->-bleeped-<- Yeah Short Guys." So far it's been pictures of actors, singers, and athletes who are all under 5 foot 6.
http://->-bleeped-<-yeahshortguys.tumblr.com/

Prince is guessed to be about 5 foot. I sometimes go on that site and think "wow...masculine guys around my height that do awesome stuff do exist." Me...I'm 5 foot 2. All of my brothers and sisters are 2-13 inches taller than me, and some of them aren't finished growing.

[Meepit]

I was recently introduced to a tumblr blog called "->-bleeped-<- Yeah Short Guys." So far it's been pictures of actors, singers, and athletes who are all under 5 foot 6.
http://->-bleeped-<-yeahshortguys.tumblr.com/

Prince is guessed to be about 5 foot. I sometimes go on that site and think "wow...masculine guys around my height that do awesome stuff do exist." Me...I'm 5 foot 2. All of my brothers and sisters are 2-13 inches taller than me, and some of them aren't finished growing.

That.Is.AWESOME   . That blog really lifts my confidence. Thanks for that!

[JohnR]

I was recently introduced to a tumblr blog called "->-bleeped-<- Yeah Short Guys." So far it's been pictures of actors, singers, and athletes who are all under 5 foot 6.
http://->-bleeped-<-yeahshortguys.tumblr.com/

Prince is guessed to be about 5 foot. I sometimes go on that site and think "wow...masculine guys around my height that do awesome stuff do exist." Me...I'm 5 foot 2. All of my brothers and sisters are 2-13 inches taller than me, and some of them aren't finished growing.

That link gave me the boost I needed today, thanks Nygeel.

[Miniar]

I was recently introduced to a tumblr blog called "->-bleeped-<- Yeah Short Guys." So far it's been pictures of actors, singers, and athletes who are all under 5 foot 6.
http://->-bleeped-<-yeahshortguys.tumblr.com/

... I flicked through that for a bit, found Thom Yorke, and melted into the sofa...

That guy... so hot... what a voice...

*drifts off*

[Bones]

I feel your pain. I am 5' and I also look about 10 years younger than my age pre-T. I am almost 40 and people think I am in my late 20's and early 30's. I have a ring finger that is a size 2 in women's. I have to shop in the boys section of the store cause men's clothes are way too big on me. So, that also adds to me looking younger. The clothing I have to wear. Unless I become rich sometime soon and can have things custom made for me but I don't see that happening any time soon. I've struggled with it for years myself till I started seeing more and more men come into the store I used to work at and they were as small as me. That gave me confidence that there ARE some hetro men that are actually just as small as me and they are never mistaken as girls or even boys. They look like men and are treated like one. Once on T awhile I think things change in the facial structure and body enough to actually make us look less like little boys and more like men regardless of our height.

On a note to that tumblr. blog, I am SO following that now for inspiration! That's a great find and thanks for sharing it! I am so showing that to my girlfriend. She knows the struggle I have with being a short man...=) All I can say is hang in there. One day your shining day will come and you will look back and say..wow! I can't believe it. I made it!

[Fencesitter]

I feel your pain. I am 5' and I also look about 10 years younger than my age pre-T. I am almost 40 and people think I am in my late 20's and early 30's. I have a ring finger that is a size 2 in women's. I have to shop in the boys section of the store cause men's clothes are way too big on me. So, that also adds to me looking younger.

My father has almost the same problem as you, he's a little bit taller but chubby. He goes clothes shopping in Strasbourg (France) as French male clothes tend to have smaller sizes. Maybe you can find an online shopping solution from a French, Italian etc. online shop. Mediterranean guys are often small.