a question regarding transition in work

[amandax]

I am not sure if I just think too much to complicate things, or if it's a real issue. I evenutally get enough encourage and confident to decide to try to transition to female in my current company and start my full time RLT. I  plan to contact my HR on my transition next month,  but recently I went to a industry conference which I normally went as male, and suddently realized that my my out may not be that simple which not only to my company peoples, but also other peoples in other companies. Since my job involve many interaction with other companie, and need to attend some industry conferences, I wonder how other people outside my company will react to my transition, and how their reaction will impact my transition. Should I consider to change my job to have less external interaction if I still want to work in the same company. Can any one shine some light to me? thx.

[Epigania]

I don't think you should worry so much about external people.   They will learn to accept it just as your co workers will.   I'm sort of in the same boat, actually.   I work for a fortune 50 company with international offices and I work directly with all of them.  I also work with several vendors across Europe.   I think it'll be uncomfortable at first, but they'll adapt.

It might be beneficial to discuss with HR, when you tell them, to see what their input is.

[lilacwoman]

[quote author=amandax
but also other peoples in other companies. Since my job involve many interaction with other companie, and need to attend some industry conferences,

Hi Amandax,  if your first contact with many of the otthers is by phone you need to get a female voice and name so if and when you meet them there are no shocks.
Transitioning doesn't always need a change of job/company/location so start by having a talk with HR first once you have decided to transition.

[amandax]

thanks for the advices. Just wonder if the bathroom will be a big issue if I visit the counterpartner's office or attend some conference? I wish my current work could be simplier but I like my work.

[Cowboi]

I'd just talk with HR and then move forward and see how it goes. My only concern would be the companies policies and their concerns about the impact on the relationship with other companies or clients. You may want to let HR know that if it does somehow become an issue you are willing to explore other options of positions inside the company to make things go smoother. If your employer or area you live in does not have protection laws or policies regarding gender identity they may be able to fire you without reason or even claim your gender identity has an impact on business when/if they chose to fire you.

The company will definitely appreciate you more as an employee if you show concern for their image as well and may be more willing to stand by you just because you have shown loyalty and a willingness to compromise when necessary.

[Radar]

The company will definitely appreciate you more as an employee if you show concern for their image as well and may be more willing to stand by you just because you have shown loyalty and a willingness to compromise when necessary.

This. But make sure you don't lose your basic rights in the process. It's all a fine line.

[Steph]

Coming out at the workplace is all about planning and compromise. You should also do your homework and research before starting to find out exactly where you stand, this can usually be done before you reveal your intentions and will also determine a course of action.  See our "Guide to Coming Out at the Workplace" found here:

https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace

It's based on my own highly successful coming out.  Give it a read.

Steph

[Robert Scott]

I have not officially come out at work yet....infact my partner is the only person I have told in real life.

However, I did change my name on my emails on how I sign them & I am surprised that several of my co-workers are calling me Rob now.  It makes me think my transition should be okay.

[Janet_Girl]

I might add that https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Sample_Transition_Package is a good place to develop your own package for your particular situation.

I used it and everything went very well.

[lilacwoman]

thanks for the advices. Just wonder if the bathroom will be a big issue if I visit the counterpartner's office or attend some conference? I wish my current work could be simplier but I like my work.

who could possibly object to an attractive woman like you using the ladies toilets?

[Robert Scott]

I am lucky in my office all the bathrooms are unisex

[Radar]

I might add that https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Sample_Transition_Package is a good place to develop your own package for your particular situation.

I used it and everything went very well.

Yes, I used it too and it worked great. I highly recommend using it.

[amandax]

Thanks for those good advices. one more question, normally how do you contact HR initially on transition issue? special the company policy don't clear indicate if transgender will be protected. So should I Directly told them I have a GID, like to transition on job? Or Just ask if company policy cover GID issue, and what company can do to address my concern?  Eithe one, I will expose myself to them as transgender, and hope the best outcome. right?

[Cowboi]

Thanks for those good advices. one more question, normally how do you contact HR initially on transition issue? special the company policy don't clear indicate if transgender will be protected. So should I Directly told them I have a GID, like to transition on job? Or Just ask if company policy cover GID issue, and what company can do to address my concern?  Eithe one, I will expose myself to them as transgender, and hope the best outcome. right?

Honestly I would do both at once since either way you will be coming out. I would tell them your are trans and are beginning the process of transitioning physically then follow it up with questions regarding the company policies and how they think it should/will be handled. When I came out at my last job I made an appointment with HR and just flat out told them that this is what was happening. In my circumstance that was easy because my job does not involve face to face interaction with clients or customers, all of my contact is over the phone.

Is there a supervisor or someone who you feel comfortable addressing the issue with first to ask about policies? That is always another option. If there is someone you feel would be understanding or supportive who knows the company better than you ask some questions

[lilacwoman]

Thanks for those good advices. one more question, normally how do you contact HR initially on transition issue? special the company policy don't clear indicate if transgender will be protected. So should I Directly told them I have a GID, like to transition on job? Or Just ask if company policy cover GID issue, and what company can do to address my concern?  Eithe one, I will expose myself to them as transgender, and hope the best outcome. right?

If you just go in and say you have GID they will think its some awful disease that may affect your performance and infect everyone and bring trouble to the company. 
It might be best to use the word transsexual as they will immediately know what that means.
Whatever way you choose to word it the main thing is to emphasize how much you like your job and how you can do it just as well as a girl.
Depending on what your company does or sells it may be that being female gives you an edge in dealing with female customers?

[Rock_chick]

Thanks for those good advices. one more question, normally how do you contact HR initially on transition issue? special the company policy don't clear indicate if transgender will be protected. So should I Directly told them I have a GID, like to transition on job? Or Just ask if company policy cover GID issue, and what company can do to address my concern?  Eithe one, I will expose myself to them as transgender, and hope the best outcome. right?

I told my manager first and then my team leader...following that a meeting was arranged with HR to discuss my transition. I'm willing to bet that you'll find that people ay be a lot more supportive than you'd think...granted I can only speak for my experiences in the UK but I've found that an open, flexible approach with management and HR works. And good luck, transitioning at work can be scary, but once the initial step is done and if the support is there, it's not too hard.

[sneakersjay]

Yes, I used it too and it worked great. I highly recommend using it.

Thirded.


Jay

[amandax]

now every day I see my coworker, counterpartner,  and other people in my company,I just can't help wondering what they reaction will be, and how I am be able to face them. I am so scared now, that step is hug and heavy to lift and walk out.

[NikkiJ]

As others have said, have a plan in place. Be confident in yourself, retain your dignity, and assure parties concerned that you enjoy working there and plan to stay, and have no intention of being a distraction.

A lot of companies already have a plan in place, and there's a manual called Transgender in the Workplace that you could give to the HR people to show them that there are ways of handling this in an appropriate manner.

I wish you all the best in this. You can do it.

[saraharmstrong]

I told my manager first and then my team leader...following that a meeting was arranged with HR to discuss my transition. I'm willing to bet that you'll find that people ay be a lot more supportive than you'd think...granted I can only speak for my experiences in the UK but I've found that an open, flexible approach with management and HR works. And good luck, transitioning at work can be scary, but once the initial step is done and if the support is there, it's not too hard.

Hi Helena,

I am glad to hear that u have told your manager you will start your transition. I have not yet told him about that yet. I am sure that you will feel more confident when dressing as a female in work place. It actually can increase your efficiency. I have just started in my transition and hormone not long ago. When you go shopping, which shop do you prefer to buy clothes and dresses? would you feel more better to shop in a busy or quiet shop?It would be  very nice to wear make up in the company. Congratulation