Do you feel Orientation isnt really an issue as an androgyne?

[Kendall]

In reading a few paragraphs from a Androgyne article from Tapestry issue #107
http://androgyne.0catch.com/ar/tapest1.htm

Sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity are three separate and different things. Sex refers to what's between your legs, while gender refers to what's between your ears. Since gender identity refers to how one views oneself, a person can consider themselves to be a man (masculine), a woman (feminine), or androgyne. It has been observed that since androgynes do not have a "gender-based opposite," they are therefore attracted to each other, and if this is so, it frees androgynes to be both >-bleeped-< and >-bleeped-<>-bleeped-< simultaneously. I suspect that androgynes are predisposed toward >-bleeped-<>-bleeped-<dom (or should that be >-bleeped-<chasing?) because they identify with neither or both traditional genders and therefore feel an affinity with people of mixed or unfixed gender and/or sex. This allows androgynes much freedom, and in a way lends weight to the term third gender, because since androgynes are neither men nor women, sexual orientation isn't really an issue.

This corresponds nicely with some intersex individuals' claims that intersex folk cannot be gay nor bisexual because they are neither male nor female -- which is interesting because androgynes can be said to be the psychological counterpart to the intersexed. The term intergender(ed) has been coined to reflect this, and some people go even further, saying androgynes have intersexed brains.

My question is Do you as an androgyne feel that orientation really isnt an issue since you are neither just men or women, or made up of both male and female (hence one would be both or neither gay or straight)?

[beatrix]

I dunno, orientation isn't an issue?  It's still a preference, but I look at more than 2 genders, so I'm attracted to more than just 1.

I'm married, though, so even attraction is pretty much a non-issue.  It's hypothetical at this point.

[seldom]

It really isn't.  I am asexual, but most androgynes I know are open to anything or asexual (well I know only one other asexual). 

[Casey]

I'm not really sure how to answer this one. I prefer women but my definition of "woman" is somewhat loose by some people's views. Then too you have the whole physical attraction versus "mental" attraction (or whatever you call it) thing going on. I do think, though, that we need to be careful about not making it an issue in the sense of "this is what an androgyne's sexual orientation is".

[nigno]

Certainly not to me.... I embraced my pensexuality a long time ago. So it is more about whether I want to be with a person (collection of molecules and personalitywise) than about orientation.
N

[Laurry]

I don't really know what orientation means to an androgyne.  If I am only attracted to other androgynes, does that make me gay regardless of their sex?  If I am not attracted to androgynes, but to males and/or females, does that make me straight, again regardless of their sex?  I have no idea what to call myself, in terms of orientation, as I am attracted to feminine.

If you look like, OR act like, a guy...sorry Charlie.  If you look AND act like a girl...hubba hubba...regardless of what you may have between your legs.  So, in a sense, the quote was right in such that I can be a >-bleeped-< and a >-bleeped-<>-bleeped-< at the same time.

So, I guess I'm only bi-sexual as I am only attracted to females and androgynes.  If I were attracted to male, female and androgynes, would that make me tri-sexual?  (I know, there is an old joke about that term, but I'll TRY not to tell it.)

......Laurie

[Shana A]

For me, sexual orientation and gender are separate issues. I've had partners or been attracted to people of all genders, so that would technically make me bisexual. Except that I can also be attracted to people who aren't either gender in the binary system, so I would go along with trisexual... or something... I generally prefer women, but really, it isn't the gender, it's the person.

zythyra

[Vanessa V.]

Hmmmm....

This is a good topic...

I feel I'm something like 90% into women, 10% into men...

Which is weird, b/c my female side should be totally into men, and it should be more 50-50ish...

Yet the only time I would do something w/ a guy would be if Vanessa was in the drivers seat and a situation came up with a homosexual guy that was into me...

Which, well, of course, is near nhil...

And even then, b/c of its sporadic-ness, it would be more of an adventure/romp type thing vs. something I could really get into for long periods of time...

So no, I would disagree w/ the article. I think orientation is still an issue. Perhaps less for more fluid gendered folks, but not so for the bigendered...

At least IMVHO...

-Nessa

[tinkerbell]

As Kendra posted

Sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity are three separate and different things.

Sexual Identities
Sexes
Human (xo) · Human (xx) · Human (xxx) · Human (xy) · Human (xx) · Human (xxy) · Human (xy) · Human (xyy) · Human · (xo/xy) · Human (etc.)

Gender
Androgyne/Androgyny · Gender identity · (non)Gender identity · Genderqueer · Pangender · Transgender · Transman · Transwoman · Transsexualism · Gender Variant · Human

Sexual orientations
Anthrosexuality · Bisexuality (bi) · Heterosexuality (straight) · Homosexuality (gay/lesbian) · Pansexuality · Asexuality · Nonsexual · Auto-erotic/Self sexuality · Queersexuality · Non Mainstream sexual orientations · Human

Other
Boi · Homosexuality and transgender · Polyamory/Polyamorous · Swinger · Queer · Womyn · Human

Hope this helps a bit.

tinkerbell

[Laurry]

Thanks Tink...

Just when I thought I was beginning to get things figured out, you send a list of stuff I've never heard of...it sucks being naive.   

......Laurie

[tinkerbell]

Thanks Tink...

Just when I thought I was beginning to get things figured out, you send a list of stuff I've never heard of...it sucks being naive.   

......Laurie

LOL ...if it makes you feel better, I have never heard about some of those terms either....   I think that we pay way too much attention to labels, and it shouldn't be that way...

tinkerbell


P.S.  Just be yourself, and love what you like...

[Kendall]

Yes a lot of terms, and I am not sure how things fit together (I am a visual person so I like Models, illustrations, and drawings.

I would love to see someone tackle fitting all of that into some sort of logical diagram.

[SuicidalBrainWave]

It really isn't.  I am asexual, but most androgynes I know are open to anything or asexual (well I know only one other asexual). 

I'm asexual too....and the only other asexual I know is my boyfriend....they're very far and few between.

x

[ChildOfTheLight]

One more asexual jumping in here.

[rite_of_inversion]

(bump)

I am married and working hard to maintain fidelity (successfully-going to keep it that way)
That said-
I find all intelligent, good-hearted humans attractive.
However, produce an intelligent, good-hearted space alien, and bets are off

[ZaidaZadkiel]

I find pretty people attractive in the same way I find a little kitty attractive -- I want to glomp it to death. but not quite touch it with my private parts.

People of either sex who have my friends salivating over, are not even registered in my funnie's radar.

But just give me a person who can hold a debate about 1980 electronic music and then I do get aroused.
I also find old tech really arousing.
I like though people who pay attention to me. My husband is the classical "tuff gui with a sensitive side", and when he acts all rough... Melts me.
In the case of my husband, however, he's a very smart person and he can actually teach me a few things (it's rare to find somebody who can)
So.. yeah.

I guess I currently am a sexually active asexal lol

[brainiac]

I tend to be attracted more to a certain gender expression range--a particular mixture of masculine and feminine-- than physical sex, though occasionally there are outliers.

So pansexual/bisexual camp, rather than asexual camp.

[Bombi]

That is a loaded question. Being bi gender/androgyne, I guess I haven't, to this  point ,given it much thought. I essentially asexual but when it clicks will have women to women relations. Man to man never really excited me I discovered. It is just also confusing.
If attraction determines orientation, then I'm attracted to boyish girls and girlish boys.

[Fenrir]

Well, I'm asexual. There are quite a few of us, eh?
But I used to wonder about my sexual orientation quite a bit (when everyone around me inexplicably started dating each other ) and I concluded this: if I was attracted to a guy, I'd feel gay, and if I was attracted to a girl I'd feel lesbian. I am not really sure why that is. I suppose it's probably because my gender shifts a lot and is often influenced by what company I'm in (with masculine people I get more masculine myself, feminine people are more likely to beget femininity, mixed company/not really with anyone I'm androgynous, feminine or masculine depending on goodness-knows-what), though this doesn't always happen and it probably doesn't work that way for many others.
...Yeah, I've come to the conclusion I may fit with the description of trigender. More obscure labels to baffle and confuse. >.<

I find pretty people attractive in the same way I find a little kitty attractive -- I want to glomp it to death. but not quite touch it with my private parts.

Agreed. Except that I'm a bit more stoic (read: awkward and socially inept) around people. My ideal relationship would be someone I could hug naked without anything untoward happening. Not that I'm being unrealistic or anything. 

[Lepidoptera]

... if I was attracted to a guy, I'd feel gay, and if I was attracted to a girl I'd feel lesbian...

This is how I feel. But, having a boyfriend I don't really have to wonder about it because I know. To me, our relationship is a gay one, even if my identity isn't strictly male. If I was with a woman, I'd probably feel it was lesbian. I'm "queer" whichever way I go.