PLEASE

[iris1469]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

[Nicky]

We are only human Iris. No better or worse than any other human.

[sarahm]

The most important thing for us to do, is nothing anyone else tells us to do.
We need to never lose the fact that we need to be ourselves. We go through all of this to be ourselves, not to be someone different.

[mmelny]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

I sense a story here .... do tell

Melan

[pebbles]

You don't get it do you? I hate begin a transsexual... But I don't have a choice. My choice was become a transwoman or die.

I didn't become this way and endure these dreadful hardships make all these sacrifices for you or any group identity or to help further the shifting borders of an ill defined sleazy political movement.

GID happening to me... it's just a horrible misfortune with no reason... And I'm trying to recover my life and survive til tomorrow and I do it for me. Whether you think I'm carrying myself respectfully or not I'm not doing it for you.

[Nigella]

You don't get it do you? I hate begin a transsexual... But I don't have a choice. My choice was become a transwoman or die.

I didn't become this way and endure these dreadful hardships make all these sacrifices for you or any group identity or to help further the shifting borders of an ill defined sleazy political movement.

GID happening to me... it's just a horrible misfortune with no reason... And I'm trying to recover my life and survive til tomorrow and I do it for me. Whether you think I'm carrying myself respectfully or not I'm not doing it for you.

The struggle and hardship is worth it Pebbles, I lost everything but gained everything. We don't choose to be like this but we choose to do something about it. Rise above the struggles and the struggles are over come, one by one until we rise up in newness of life. Yes for me, but as a consequence for others like me as well.

Without knowing it/without seeking it, we do become roll models for others to follow just as we have followed those who have paved the way for us who are transitioning today. So I guess we do, do things for ourselves but in doing that there will always be people looking over our shoulders to see what we do and say.

Stardust

[Hermione01]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

I'm sorry but that statement seems so random.  Can you please explain. 

[Asfsd4214]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

Mmmmmmm, I respect the reason for your request, but I'm gonna have to decline.

You're right, I haven't chosen to be. I didn't choose the majority of the ->-bleeped-<-ty stuff in my life, a lot more ->-bleeped-<-ty stuff than simply being transgender.

And seeing as how I didn't choose it, and I'm only going to get to live my life once, I think I'll lead it however I want. That may very well be up to your standards of respectability, or then again it may not. I have quite a few character flaws that I'm sure some would disapprove of.

Here's a thought, maybe you shouldn't worry too much about how other trans people represent us?

Fact is, people have a HORRIBLE perception of us. Fact is, we are the cause of at least a part of that perception. Fact is, I accept that that's out of my control, and simply choose to represent myself. If someone judges me by the standards set by others, I'll just tell them that I can't speak or pretend to understand everyone else, the only person I can understand and speak for, is myself.

In addition to being transgender, I'm also Caucasian, Australian, an MS sufferer, from a single parent household, a self harmer, etc, etc. Those may be characteristics of who I am. But I refuse to take responsibility for what anyone who isn't me who may share those characteristics has done. And if someone wants to be prejudice against me anyway, well, that's a shame, hopefully once they get to know me they'll accept me for me, and if they don't, maybe I don't want their respect anyway.

[rejennyrated]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

Nope - unless you are telling me that I am obviously spottable as trans then I respectfully submit that I represent myself alone.

Besides I love the outrageous transpeople. Even though I don't know them and will never meet them they are my best allies! Why? Because if people think that is what it really means to be trans then they are even LESS likely to notice normal little ole me sitting next to them in their office or where ever.

Over the nearly 30 years that I have been living as a postop woman I have proved that I can pass with as near as makes no difference 100% reliability, not by looking glam or perfect, but simply by deliberately and systematically playing against the prevailing trans stereotype (thankfully not difficult for me).

For example in the UK everyone "knows" that all transwomen wear makeup, so I seldom do. Everyone "knows" that transwomen tend to be ultra femme, so I make no effort to be so... etc etc etc. And it works - there are several people on here who know me IRL and they can confirm it by observation.

So maybe instead of coming on here and making futile, and ultimately in my opinion slightly rude and judgemental, demands about how others behave, which isn't really for you to control, you should just learn to use the more outrageous members of our community as a nice little smokescreen.

[Cindy]

If you are transgender, PLEASE carry yourself in a respectful manner. BEcause you are representing ALL of us even though you have not chosen to...PLEASE

As others have said, what's the background to the comment?

I live my life as I wish to live it. I now refuse to take c**p from anyone. I'm Cindy, a somewhat 50ish woman who has taken control of her life. I'm happy to be respectful to those who give me respect.  I'm am intensely loyal to those who have been loyal to me. I have undying friendship for my friends, and the vast majority I have met here. They know who they are, I suspect . If people try to insult me, degrade me or prevent me from living the life I have chosen, which is neither criminal nor aberrant, I will  do my best to either ignore or deal with them. I have had shop assistants sacked for being rude to me.  I have no regrets for that. But finally, I am a perfectly normal member of society and wish to be treated and accepted as one.  If I am not; Goddess hear me Roar.

Cindy

[ggina]

For example in the UK everyone "knows" that all transwomen wear makeup, so I seldom do. Everyone "knows" that transwomen tend to be ultra femme, so I make no effort to be so... etc etc etc.

This. One can always find something to not be associated with someone he/she wouldn't like to, just by being clever

g

[justmeinoz]

Im inclined to answer"And?"  Without any more detail it is all a bit vague. ???I
Or, as Mad Pauline put it, "Ploise exploin!"

[Renate]

I can't seem to find the quote right now, but this seems like something from the early days (1950's?) of gay liberation
where one of the societies (Mattachine?) pleaded for its members to be "normal".

Yes, it is unfortunate that the public views any one member of our "community" as an example.
No, I don't think that it's right for anyone to insist that we be "normal".

For the record, I'm pretty boring.

[iris1469]

WOW. In reading these replies it really hits me weird. Let me clarify, I am NOT telling you to be anyone BUT yourself. I am not telling you what to do or how to do it. Are you telling me that you as a person are not respectable? That society is right to categorize us? This is the last thing ill say, at some point, either now or future generations, we an transgender must pave the way for tomorrows transgender, hopefully making their transition a little easier. You dont have to care about future transgender, but you should. Do you want them to be shouldered with the pain and suffering that most of us go through? If so, why? I am willing to lead by example, to shoulder as much grief as society as a whole or individuals wish to give me. AND I WILL love myself. I WILL carry my head high. In times that I am being treated unfairly and with prejudice, I will smile and carry myself confidently.....AND I WILL NEVER, EVER quit, EVER. meanwhile, any time I can help another, especially trans, I will.

You see I have seen it work in my own life. I have entered situations where people were making fun of me and disrespecting me. But I refuse to hang my head or lash out inmaturly (however there are timmes when people have been bent on fighting me and of course there is nothing you can do to change their minds, except whipping their butt, which i can do if need be). anyways I have had people come up to me and say something to the effect that they first had a negative impression of me (cuz I am trans and they had never seen one, or they had seen the bearded boys wearing makeup and wigs on santa monica blvd) but after just a little while they were able to put that away and looked at me for who I am, not what I am..

Now I have tried my best to explain this, I do hope you can understand what I am saying. You dont have to agree with me, but i do hope you understand.

[Sinnyo]

I think I do understand, but there are much nicer ways of putting that across. I too realise that as things are now, we may hope to be pioneers in a world about to be changed into something more accepting and open. It's a naive thought, but a nice one to carry as a mantra.

I do, however, strongly object to being assumed as some sort of template, by you or others on the street. Trans folk are as diverse as any other type of person, and therefore there is no template. To homogenise us all for the supposed greater good - a mere reputation - is to undermine our very right to exist. Granted, it is not nice when somebody in the minority acts with clear disregard and supposedly taints all transgender people, but the onus there is on those who see such carry-on and decide to form a narrow definition there and then. I'd argue that only by being our own diverse selves can we show just how little ->-bleeped-<- matters in our definition as people.

[mmelny]

I'm still waiting to hear a story with some anecdotal descriptions of how you have been wronged by the misgivings of your fellow transgendered, not acting 'respectful'    .. and how that has impacted your life.

I like stories, especially stories with pictures!   *smiles*.

Melan

[Shang]

I think I do understand, but there are much nicer ways of putting that across. I too realise that as things are now, we may hope to be pioneers in a world about to be changed into something more accepting and open. It's a naive thought, but a nice one to carry as a mantra.

I do, however, strongly object to being assumed as some sort of template, by you or others on the street. Trans folk are as diverse as any other type of person, and therefore there is no template. To homogenise us all for the supposed greater good - a mere reputation - is to undermine our very right to exist. Granted, it is not nice when somebody in the minority acts with clear disregard and supposedly taints all transgender people, but the onus there is on those who see such carry-on and decide to form a narrow definition there and then. I'd argue that only by being our own diverse selves can we show just how little ->-bleeped-<- matters in our definition as people.

I have to agree with this.

I act like myself and always will act like myself, regardless of how I look or if I happen to be transgendered.  I act respectfully because I was raised that way and because I want to be respected, not because I'm scared of "tainting" the image of transgenders. (This doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun--I'm prone to dying my hair, pulling on 'goth' clothes, and going to concerts.)   But many people carry their head high and love themselves, and they're not transgendered.  But it's always good to be confident in yourself no matter what you identify as.

[JohnR]

You dont have to care about future transgender, but you should. Do you want them to be shouldered with the pain and suffering that most of us go through? If so, why? I am willing to lead by example, to shoulder as much grief as society as a whole or individuals wish to give me. AND I WILL love myself. I WILL carry my head high. In times that I am being treated unfairly and with prejudice, I will smile and carry myself confidently.....AND I WILL NEVER, EVER quit, EVER. meanwhile, any time I can help another, especially trans, I will.

Jolly good. Carry on.

[Britney♥Bieber]

You don't get it do you? I hate begin a transsexual... But I don't have a choice. My choice was become a transwoman or die.

I didn't become this way and endure these dreadful hardships make all these sacrifices for you or any group identity or to help further the shifting borders of an ill defined sleazy political movement.

GID happening to me... it's just a horrible misfortune with no reason... And I'm trying to recover my life and survive til tomorrow and I do it for me. Whether you think I'm carrying myself respectfully or not I'm not doing it for you.

I don't know you or anything, but this made me really sad. Although I do feel like being trans is hard, I don't think it's bad. I am proud of who I am and "what" I am. I feel lucky most times. Yes I do wish I didn't miss out on my childhood as a girl, I wish I could've been born a girl, but at the end of the day, I can't change the past. I can only change the future and I'm more than happy to do so. You shouldn't look at being trans as a curse.

[Iceprincess]

I don't know you or anything, but this made me really sad. Although I do feel like being trans is hard, I don't think it's bad. I am proud of who I am and "what" I am. I feel lucky most times. Yes I do wish I didn't miss out on my childhood as a girl, I wish I could've been born a girl, but at the end of the day, I can't change the past. I can only change the future and I'm more than happy to do so. You shouldn't look at being trans as a curse.

This x10